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A  NEW  POLITICAL   SATIRE. 

JUST    PUBLISHED. 

SOLID  FOR   MULHOOLT. 

A  new  and  novel  Satire  on  the  Boss  System  in 

America)i   Politics,    in   which   the  Mysterious 

Methods  of  the  Leaders,   the  Ring  and 

the  Boss,  are  laid  hare. 


EXTRACT  FROM  CONTENTS. 

IRELAND— the  fountain  of  American  Leadership  and  birtli- 

piace  of  American  Bosses. 

TUB  GIN-MILL— the  School-House  where  practical  Ameri- 
can Statesmanship  is  taught. 

THE  ABC  and  the  X  Y  Z— the  known  and  unknown 
quantities — of  politics. 

BLOSSOM  BRICK— a  Political  Gamaliel,  and  his  new 
system  of  Political  Philosophy.  , 

ADDITION!  Division!  Silence!  Rebates!  and  aliukbe 
Profits  ! 

THE  MACHINT:— dissected.  What  10,000  employees 
and  $10,000,000  annually  can  accomplish,  when  wisely 
used. 

THE  BOSS— a  life-sized  picture  of  nni.    "  I'm  fur  'imI  " 

THE  POLITICAL  OLYMPUS— How  the  Gods  feed— what 
TiiEY  say  and  what  thet  do. 

MULHOOLY  AN  M.  L.— How  to  make  $100,000  without 
work. 

A  GREAT  PUBLIC  DANGER— A  Reformer  and  his  Sedi- 
tious Doctrines. 

JUSTICE  !  !  !— How  it  was  administered  by  Judge  Coke 
under  orders  from  the  Boss — An  Editor  Convicted  of 
Libel— Gandy  Grip  and  Bowles  Bowser,  Esquires,  the 
great  Criminal  Lawyers— A  Judge  Challenged. 

ONE  WAY  TO  RUN  A'CAMPAIGN- Anotheb  Wat— Thb 
REsrxT. 

THE  LEADERS,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss  Vixdicated  I 

MULHOOLY,  M.  C,  By  the  Grace  op  the  Gods  I 


G.  W.  Carleton  &  Co.,  Publishers,  New  York. 


I'M   FUR   'IM.'^ 


SOLD)  FOR  OULHOOLY: 

A  SKETCH  OF 

MUNICIPAL  POLITICS 

UNDER 

THE  LEADERS,  THE  KING, 

AND 

THE  BOSS. 


^. 


NEW     Y  O  R  K  : 

Copyright,  1881,  by 

G.    W,     Carletoii    &    Co.,    Publishers, 

MADISON       SQUARE. 
MDCCCLXXXI. 


stereotyped  by 

Samuel  Stoddeb, 

Electrottper  &  Stereottpeb, 

90  Ann  Street,  N.  Y. 


Trow 

PBDrTING  AND  BoOK-BlNDINQ  CO. 

N.  Y. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  PA6B 

L  Michael  Mulhooly:  His  Antecedents 7 

II.  His  First  School 11 

III.  Learns  the  A  B  C  of  Politics 16 

IV.  Studies  the  x  y  z  ol  Politics 20 

V.  An  Upward  Leap 25 

VI.  A  Modern  Statesman ...    31 

Vn.  A  Digression 38 

VIII.  A  Political  Gamaliel 43 

rx.  The  Machine 50 

X.  Thinks  of  Himself 59 

XI.  The  Boss 64 

Xn.  Feeds  -with  the  Gods 68 

XIIL  An  M.  L 73 

XIV.  A  Great  Public  Danger 83 


vi  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  PAOB 

XV.  The  Canvass 91 

XVI.  The  Conventioa    100 

XVn.  The  Voice  of  the  Press 114 

XVIII.  Trouble 121 

XIX.  Justice 135 

XX.  A  Judge  Challenged 146 

XXI.  One  "Way  to  Run  a  Campaign 150 

XXII.  Another  Way 161 

XXm.  The  Result 174 


SOLID  FOR  MULHOOLY. 


I. 

MCHAEL  MULHOOLY  ;  HIS  ANTECEDENTS. 

IICHAEL  MULHOOLY  owed  nothing 
of  his  greatness  to  high  birth  or  early 
advantages.  On  the  contrary,  when 
ne  first  opened  his  eyes  his  surroundings  must 
have  struck  his  infant  mind  as  offering  far  from 
encouraging  prospects  to  one  about  to  begin 
life. 

The  ancestral  halls  of  the  Mulhoolys,  situated 
among  the  bogs  of  County  Tyrone,  Ireland, 
consisted  of  a  cabin  of  the  style  of  architecture 
then  fashionable  in  that  section  of  the  country, 
containing  a  single  apartment,  inhabited,  at  the 


8  MICHAEL     MULHOOLY. 

ffiomeiit  of  his  birth,  by  his  parents,  ten  rapidly- 
maturing  x^ledges  of  their  love,  and  two  pigs, 
which,  encouraged  by  the  example  of  the  elder 
Mulhoolys,  annually  contributed  somewhat 
more  than  their  share  towards  the  common 
wealth.  These  humble  but  faithful  dependents 
of  the  family  joined  their  voices  to  the  general 
welcome  which  greeted  the  arrival  of  the  future 
statesman,  and,  as  soon  as  he  was  able  to  crawl 
upon  the  cabin  floor,  they  treated  him  as  foster- 
brother  to  their  own  latest  addition  to  the 
family  circle.  Thus  his  infancy,  like  that  of  so 
many  of  his  countrymen  who  have  become 
leaders  of  men  in  our  own  free  and  happy 
country,  was  spent  in  a  condifion  of  poverty 
and  squalor  not  apparently  conducive  to  ex- 
ceptional mental  growth,  but  which  is,  never- 
theless, as  experience  has  demonstrated,  especi- 
ally calculated  to  develop  a  genius  for  leader- 
ship in  American  politics. 

Education,  such  as  is  derived  from  books, 
he  did  not  acquire  as  he  advanced  towards  the 
years  of  manhood,  on  account  of  circumstances 
over  which  he  had  no  control.  The  fact  is, 
there    was    not   a    school-house,   or  a   school- 


MICHAEL    MULHOOLY.  9 

teacher,  and  probably  not  a  printed  book  of 
any  kind,  within  fifty  miles  of  his  parental 
home.  The  Mulhoolys  had  not  learned  to  re- 
gard it  as  a  disgrace  that  no  member  of  the 
family  of  thf.ir  acquaintance  had  ever  learned 
to  read  and  write.  Had  such  a  view  of  the  case 
been  suggested  to  them,  they  would,  doubtless, 
have  pointed  proudly  to  that  long  line  of  Irish 
kings,  from  whom  they,  and  all  of  their 
countrymen,  are  descended,  not  one  of  whom 
had  ever  troubled  himself  to  acquire  such  use- 
less accomplishments. 

When  Michael  was  eighteen  years  of  age, 
chance  brought  about  a  change  in  his  life  which 
laid  the  foundation  of  his  fortunes,  and  proved 
to  be  the  starting-point  in  his  career  of  great- 
ness. Dennis  Mulhooly,  a  distant  cousin, 
while  on  a  visit  to  the  tombs  of  his  ancestors, 
conceived  the  idea  of  taking  the  boy  back  wdth 
him  to  America,  and  putting  him  at  work  in 
his  saloon,  known  as  the  "Tenth  Precinct 
House,  by  Mr.  Dennis  Mulhooly."  So  Michael, 
not  unwillingly,  yet  not  without  many  tears, 
bade  farewell  to  that  beautiful  green  isle  which 
all  his  countrymen  from  time  immemorial  have 


lo  MICHAEL    MULHOOLY. 

sworn,  and  until  time  sTiall  be  no  more  will  con 
tinue  to  swear,  is  the  finest  spot  of  green  eartli 
on  this  large  globe  ;  but  which,  nevertheless,  so 
many  of  them  leave  at  the  first  opportunity, 
and  to  which  so  few  of  them  ever  return  in  the 
flesh  ;  owing  probably  to  the  surprising  dearth 
of  native  talent  for  statesmanship  which  they 
discover  here  as  soon  as  they  land  upon  our  hos- 
pitable shores. 


II. 

HIS  FIRST  SCHOOL. 

PON  his  arrival  lie  began  at  the  \  ery 
foot  of  the  ladder.  The  "Tenth  Pre- 
cinct House,  by  Mr.  Dennis  Mul- 
hooly,"  was  not  situated  in  what  certain 
people  would  call  a  fashionable  neighbor- 
hood, nor  was  it  patronized  by  the  most 
exclusive  circles  of  society.  Ministers  of  the 
gospel,  bank  presidents,  and  merchant  princes 
never  crossed  its  threshold.  Public  banquets  to 
foreign  potentates,  men  of  letters  and  great  gen- 
erals, were  never  given  in  this  hostelry.  There 
were  safer  places  in  the  world  for  a  man  to  fall 
asleep  in  if  he  wished  to  retain  his  watch  or  pock- 
et-book. An  oyster  counter,  a  bar,  three  or  four 
chairs,  and  a  stove,  comprised  all  the  furniture 
of  the  one  low  room  where  Mr.  Dennis  Muliiooly 
catered  to  the  appetites  of  the  public.    Two  men 

[ti] 


12  HIS    FIRST    SCHOOL. 

were  all  the  assistants  he  required  prior  to  the 
arrival  of  Michael,  who  was  immediately  in- 
stalled in  the  responsible  but  unromuneralive 
post  of  boy-of -all- work.  He  scrubbed  the  lloor, 
carried  out  oyster-shells,  made  fires,  ran  errands, 
and  occasionally  lent  a  Land  behind  the  oyster- 
counter  and  the  bar.  But  he  was  happy.  For 
the  first  time  in  his  life  he  knew  the  luxury  of 
having  enough  to  eat,  a  warm  place  in  which  to 
sleep  when  it  was  cold,  and  clothing  enough  to 
cover  his  entire  body  at  one  and  the  same  time. 
He  received  no  wages  beyond  his  board  and 
clothing,  but  an  occasional  dime,  earned  by  some 
menial  service  cheerfully  performed,  lit  up  his 
dreams  with  the  rose  tints  of  apjoroaching  pros- 
perity and  made  him  smile  in  his  sleep. 

But  this  humble  bar-room,  or  low  groggery, 
if  you  x)lease,  was  the  school-room  in  which  his 
first  lessons  of  life  were  learned,  and  where  was 
revealed  to  his  young  ambition  the  shining  lad- 
der, like  that  which  Jacob  saw  in  a  dream,  lead- 
ing up  to  the  political  Olympus  upon  which  he 
was  destined  one  day  to  stand  and  talk  with  the 
gods. 

Here  the  party-workers  of  the  precinct  were 


^  HIS    FIRST    SCHOOL.  13 

wont  to  congregate  to  discuss  the  affairs  of  the 
nation ;  and  here,  prior  to  party  conventions, 
occasionally  came  the  leaders  of  the  ward,  and, 
sometimes,  those  greater  statesmen  whose  com- 
prehensive minds  ward-limits  could  not  conline, 
to  make  those  preliminary  i)olitical  arrange- 
ments for  the  good  of  the  country,  which  they 
call  "getting  in  their  work." 

Why  continue  to  talk  of  the  free-school  on 
the  hillside  as  the  hope  of  the  Republic,  when 
every  day,  under  your  very  eyes,  you  see  the  in- 
dubitable proof  that  the  despised  grog-shop  is 
the  true  birthplace  of  statesmanship,  and  the 
maligned  gin-mill  the  very  cradle  in  which  shall 
be  rocked  into  manhood  the  coming  American 
politician  ? 

It  was  not  surprising  that  the  visits  of  these 
great  men  gave  to  the  young  Irish  lad  glimpses 
of  a  world  which  seemed  very  far  above  him, 
and  in  which  he  hardly  yet  dared  to  hope  some 
day  to  live  and  move.  It  was  not  surprising 
that  the  fluency  of  their  conversation  about  pol- 
itics, sporting  matters,  and  the  women  of  their 
acquaintance ;  the  richness  and  elegance  of  their 
clothing ;  the  massiveness  of  their  watch-chains ; 


14  HIS    FIRST    SCHOOL. 

the  size  of  tlieir  seal  rings;  the  brilliancy  of 
their  diamonds ;  their  lavish  expenditure  of 
money,  and  the  lordly  grace  with  which  they 
smoked  tbe  fragrant  "Reina  Victoria,"  and  or- 
dered Pat,  the  barkeeper,  to  "set  'em  up  agin," 
or  "open  another  bot.,"  dazzled  his  young 
imagination  and  fired  his  soul  with  the  daring 
ambition  to  be,  some  day,  so  great  a  man  and  so 
perfect  a  gentleman. 

As  he  approached  the  age  of  manhood,  his 
eyes  were  opened  to  his  want  of  education  and 
the  advantages  which  he  might  derive  from 
being  able  to  read  and  write.  Nothing  daunted 
by  the  difficulties  before  him,  he  set  to  work, 
under  Pat's  instructions,  in  his  leisure  moments, 
to  master  these  accomplishments.  It  was  slow 
work  for  such  a  pupil,  under  such  a  tutor,  but 
other  men  have  become  senators,  judges  of  the 
Supreme  Court,  aye,  and  even  Presidents,  who 
began  to  study  under  scarcely  more  favorable 
circumstances.  Michael  had  industry,  perse- 
verance and  ambition,  and,  though  great  was  his 
labor,  great  also  was  his  reward.  When  he 
became  able  to  spell  out,  in  the  Police  liecord, 
or  the  Sporting  Man^s  Own^  the  chaste  and 


HIS    FIRST    SCHOOL.  15 

graphic  accounts  of  tlie  latest  prize-figlit,  he  felt 
something  of  that  mental  exaltation  with 
which  more  fortunate  schoolboys  read  of^the 
days  and  deeds  of  chivalry,  when  kings  and 
princes  contended  in  knightly  tourney.  And, 
as  he  read  of  these  exhibitions  of  science  and 
courage,  he  longed  to  be  some  day  spoken  of  as 
a  Heenan,  a  Morrissey,  a  Mace,  or  a  Sayers.  He 
lost  no  opportunity  to  perfect  himself  in  the 
manly  art,  and,  as  opportunities  for  practice 
were  not  wanting  in  his  neighborhood,  before  he 
had  reached  the  age  of  manhood  he  had  won 
the  reputation  of  being  the  hardest  hitter  and 
most  scientific  sparrer  in  that  end  of  the  ward. 
Happy  the  youth  who  wisely  selects  his  ideal  of 
true  manhood,  and  molds  his  own  life  in  strict 
accordance  with  its  example  1 


m. 

LEARNS  THE  A  B  C  OF  POLITICa 

EFORE  he  came  of  age  lie  had  com- 
mended himself  to  the  party-workers 
who  frequented  the  saloon  by  acting 
as  the  representative  at  the  polls  in  his  precinct, 
of  a  gentlemanly  young  clerk,  who,  when  he 
offered  to  vote  in  person,  was  surprised  to  learn 
that  he  had  already  voted  at  an  hour  when  he 
could  have  sworn  he  was  perfecting  his  toilet, 
and  who  was  rudely  hustled  from  the  polls, 
glad  enough  to  escape  being  beaten  and  after- 
wards arrested  on  the  charge  of  attempting  to 
violate  the  sanctity  of  the  ballot. 

At  the  age  of  twenty-one  Michael  Mulhooly 
was  duly  naturalized.  It  was  true  that  by  the 
ordinary  methods  of  computing  time  he  sup- 
posed he  had  only  spent  two  years  in  this 
country  ;  but  as  the  records  of  the  court  showed 

[16] 


THE    A     B    C    OF     POLITICS.  17 

that  two  highly  respectable  citizens,  known  to 
and  approved  by  the  court,  had  made  solemn 
oath  that  they  had  personally  known  the  ap- 
plicant for  upwards  of  five  years,  during  which 
time  he  had  actually  resided  in  this  country, 
and  that  he  was  well-disposed  to  the  Govern- 
ment and  familiar  with  its  Constitution,  it  was 
evident  that  the  stringent  naturalization  laws 
of  the  United  States  had  not  been  abused. 

He  was  now  clothed  in  the  full  panoply  of 
American  citizenship.     The  political 

"  World  was  all  before  him  where  to  choose, 
And  Providence  his  guide." 

There  was  no  office  of  election  or  appointment, 
from  constable  to  United  States  Senator,  to 
which  he  might  not  lawfully  and  hopefully 
aspire.  His  brand  new  certificate  of  citizenship 
was  far  from  a  disadvantage  to  him.  Judging 
from  the  experience  of  so  many  of  his  country- 
men, it  was  rather  a  passport  to  place  and  a 
title-deed  to  a  reversionary  interest  in  the  offices 
which  they  were  holding,  as  soon  as  he  could 
dispossess  them.  Only  the  office  of  President  of 
the  United  States  was  hopelessly  beyond  his 


i8  THE    A     B     C    OF    POLITICS. 

reach ;  or,  not  hopelessly,  if  the  rapidly-increas- 
ing foreign -born  population  of  this  country 
shall  determine  to  erase  from  the  Constitution 
of  their  adopted  country  that  invidious  discrim- 
ination in  favor  of  native-born  citizens  which 
d(^faces  it. 

It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  record  the  fact  that 
Michael  Mulhooly  did  not  neglect  to  vote  at  the 
election  immediately  following  his  naturaliza- 
tion. Indeed,  from  his  own  statements,  made 
that  night  while  celebrating  his  political  second 
birth,  so  great  was  his  fear  that  his  vote  might 
not  be  properly  counted  in  his  own  precinct, 
that  he  took  the  precaution  to  deposit  another 
constitutional  exiDression  of  his  will  in  an  adjoin- 
ing precinct ;  and,  to  still  further  protect  his 
newly-acquired  rights  of  citizenship,  he  repeated 
this  precaution  against  fraud  in  two  other  pre- 
cincts more  remote  from  his  home.  The  Avisdom 
of  this  course  was  highly  commended  by  all  his 
hearers  ;  and  some  of  them,  with  prophetic  eye, 
even  looked  forward  to  the  time  when  the  coun- 
try would  be  proud  of  its  newly-adopted  child. 

Owing  to  a  misfortune  which  befell  Pat  about 
this  time,  resulting  in  his  temporary  withdrawal 


THE    A     B    C    OF    POLITICS.  19 

from  the  active  labors  of  life  by  reason  of  big 
mistaking  the  ownership  of  a  watch,  which  he 
said  liad  been  dropped  upon  the  floor  by  a  be- 
lated individual  who  had  lost  his  bearing's  and 
wandered  into  the  saloon  very  late  one  night, 
Michael  was  promoted  to  the  post  of  regular 
bar-keeper,  with  a  salary  nominally  fixed,  but 
virtually  to  be  determined  by  himself.  This 
promotion  enlarged  his  opportunities  for  prose- 
cuting his  political  studies.  It  placed  him  at 
once  upon  terms  of  easy  familiarity  \Aith  the 
statesmen  of  his  acquaintance  who  dropped  in, 
after  a  night  spent  in  emulating  the  moral  x)rac- 
tices  of  the  Roman  emperors,  for  that  inspirit- 
inor  moniing  drink  which  Anacreon  named  a 
*' cock-tail,"  but  which  Catullus  always  insisted, 
down  to  the  day  of  his  death,  should  be  called 
"  an  eye-opener."  Besides,  it  initiated  him  into 
that  mystic  brotherhood— that  ancient,  honor- 
able and  well-dressed  order  founded  ages  ago  by 
one  Ganymede,  and  which  has,  in  every  age,  ex- 
ercised such  a  mysterious  and  powerful  influence 
over  its  politicians  and  legislators.  No  wonder 
that  the  poet  said  "  Let  me  mix  a  nation's  cock- 
tails and  I  care  not  who  make  its  laws." 


IV. 

STUDIES  THE  x  y  z  OF  POLITICS. 

It  the  next  election  he  took  another 
forward  step  in  his  political  studies. 
Six  brand-new  American  citizens  from 
a  neighboring  city  were  so  anxious  to  prove 
their  gratitude  to  the  government  for  adopting 
them,  and  so  determined  to  put  down  its  ene- 
mies, that,  dropping  all  business  at  home,  they 
hurried  over  to  this  city  and  placed  their  services 
at  the  disposal  of  the  Hon.  Hugh  McCann,  a 
member  of  the  State  Legislature,  to  whom  the 
City  Committee  had  given  $1,000  to  place  where 
it  would  do  the  most  good.  These  public-sjur- 
ited  men  were  provided  with  lodgings  over  the 
"Tenth  Precinct  House  by  Mr.  Dennis  Mul- 
hooly,"  and  to  Michael  was  intrusted  the  duty 
of  guiding  them  to  the  precincts  in  which  the 

20 


THE    X    y    z     OF    POLITICS.  ai 

committee  had.  decided  they  conld  best  serve 
their  country.  One  of  these  gentlemen  had  the 
misfortune  to  resemble  a  well-known  klepto- 
maniac whom  the  police  authorities  of  his  own 
city  were  anxious  to  persuade  to  return  to  the 
sumptuous  apartments  which  they  had  provided 
for  him  in  the  hope  of  curing  his  malady  by 
keeping  him  from  temptation.  This  resemblance 
struck  a  police  officer  near  the  polls  so  forcibly, 
that  he  insisted  upon  taking  him,  along  with 
Michael,  to  the  nearest  station-house  for  identi- 
fication. To  this  unconstitutional  interference 
with  a  voter  while  in  the  exercise  of  the  elective 
franchise  Michael  objected,  and  commenced  to 
discuss  the  constitutional  questions  involved 
with  so  much  spirit  and  force  that  the  officer, 
overcome  by  his  arguments,  twice  laid  down 
upon  the  pavement,  while  Michael  persisted  in 
his  effort  to  impress  upon  him  the  soundness  of 
his  own  views  of  the  case.  While  thus  occupied 
a  squad  of  policemen  under  the  command  of  a 
sergeant  came  up,  and  mistaking  the  meaning 
of  Michael's  gestures,  captured  him,  and,  not 
without  some  difficulty,  at  last  got  him  inside 
the  station-house,  where  they  preferred  against 


22  THE    X    y    z     OF    POLITICS. 

Mm  charges  of  assault  and  battery,   resisting 
an  officer,  and  vouching  for  a  repeater  known  to 
them  as  "  Big  Pat."     Michael's  detention,  how 
ever,  lasted  for  only  a  few  minutes,  until  Hon. 
Hugh  McCann,  who  had  heard  of  the  misunder- 
standing, came  to  hunt  him  up,  entered  bail  for 
his  appearance,  and  assured  him  that  earl 3^  in 
the  morning  he  would  himself  see  the  Boss, 
who  would  see  Judge  Coke  and  have  the  whole 
thing  "  squared."    Michael  had  not  yet  reached 
that  clause  in  the  Constitution  which  referred  to 
the  office  of  Boss,  and,  therefore,  he  failed  to 
understand,  as  clearly  as  he  would  have  done 
a  few  years  later,  the  nature  of  this  office  and 
the  process  of  getting  such  matters  "squared." 
He  had  now  won  his  political  spurs.    He  had 
proved  himself  worthy  of  citizenship.     He  had 
given  unmistakable  evidences  of  possessing  tal- 
ents by  which,  with  proper  training,  he  could 
not  fail  to  make  his  mark  upon  the  political  his- 
tory of  his  country.     He  had  voted  once  before 
he  was  of  age  ;  had  voted  four  times  at  the  elec- 
tion immediately  succeeding  his  naturalization  ; 
at  the  following  election  had  led  to  the  polls  six 
citizens  whose  votes  it  was  known  would  be  chal- 


THE    X    y    z     OF    POLITICS.  23 

lenged,  and  had  succeeded  in  persuading  tlie 
election  officers  to  receive  five  of  them  ;  had 
twice  knocked  down  a  police  officer  who  inter 
fered  with  him  while  he  was  discharging  this 
delicate  and  important  public  duty,  and  was 
already  under  indictment  for  an  alleged  violation 
of  the  election  laws,  as  well  as  for  an  alleged 
assault  and  battery  upon  an  officer  of  the  law. 
Such  talents  are  well  known  to  be  more  valuable 
in  politics  than  a  knowledge  of  Greek  prosody, 
or  familiarity  with  the  writings  of  Adam  Smith. 
Such  men  never  fail  to  receive  that  recognition 
from  the  party  leaders  to  which  such  invaluable 
party  services  entitle  them,  and  accordingly, 
Michael  Mulhooly  was  immediately  placed  uj)- 
on  his  Ward  Committee  ;  and,  at  the  next  elec- 
tion, was  appointed  by  the  court  an  election 
officer  to  fill  a  vacancy,  at  the  instance  of  one  of 
the  ward  leaders  who  was  a  candidate  for  con- 
stable. This  duty  he  also  discharged  so  success- 
fully that  when  the  returns  were  made  up  by 
the  election  officers,  it  was  found  that  his  candi- 
date for  constable  had  received  nearly  a  hundred 
more  votes  than  those  who  kept  the  lists  conld 
account  for  or  believed  had  been  cast.    Thus  he 


24  THE    X    y    z     OF    POLITICS. 

commenced  to  comprehend  those  unknown 
quantities  in  politics  which  so  materially  affect 
results. 


V. 

AN  UPWARD  LEAP. 

BOUT  this  time  lie  formed  an  acquaint- 
ance by  which  he  was  enabled,  at  a 
single  jump,  to  mount  several  rounds 
of  the  political  ladder  which,  in  his  young 
dreams,  he  had  seen  leading  from  obscurity  to 
that  Olympus  above  the  clouds  where  the  polit- 
ical gods  sit  and  control  the  destinies  of  men. 
This  acquaintance  he  owed  partly  to  his  i^ersonal 
charms,  partly  to  his  recognized  position  among 
the  party  leaders  of  his  ward,  and  partly  to  his 
fame  as  an  athlete  who  could  hit  straight  from 
the  shoulder,  and  who  feared  not  even  the  for- 
midable officers  of  the  law.  He  had  by  this 
time  learned  how  to  improve  his  natural  personal 
advantages  by  those  arts  of  dress  which  gentle- 
men of  his  class  so  well  understand.  As  he 
sauntered  along  the  fashionable  thoroughfares 

[25J 


26  AN     UPWARD    LEAP, 

on  Saturday  afternoons  when  lie  was  off  duty, 
clad  in  light  iDlaid  breeches,  tight  at  the  knee 
and  thence  curving  gracefully  until  nearly  the 
whole  foot  was  hidden,  cut-away  coat  of  darker 
plaid  pattern,  trim  at  the  waist,  and  with  shoul- 
ders projecting  like  the  eaves  of  a  Swiss  chalet, 
red  silk  cravat,  Derby  hat,  yellow  kid  gloves, 
and  fancy-headed  cane,  you  knew  at  a  glance 
that  you  beheld  one  of  those  butterflies  of  the 
sidewalk  known  as  "mashers."  It  was  not 
strange,  therefore,  that  all  these  advantages  of 
X)erson,  position  and  reputation  won  the  regard 
of  a  woman  some  years  his  senior,  whose  house, 
situated  within  a  square  of  his  saloon,  was  fre- 
quented by  most  of  the  political  leaders  of  his  ac- 
quaintance. Nor  was  it  strange  that,  flattered  by 
her  unconcealed  preference,  he  became  a  constant 
visitor  at  her  house ;  her  escort  to  the  fashionable 
minstrel  halls  and  variety  shows  which  she  loved 
to  frequent,  and  stood  ready  at  all  times,  like  a 
knight  of  old,  to  throw  down  the  gage  of  battle  to 
any  who  dared  dispute  her  right  to  the  title  of 
Queen  of  Love  and  Beauty.  In  her  society,  and 
that  which  she  drew  around  her,  his  manners 
rapidly  acquired  much  of  that  polish  which  he 


AN     UPWARD    LEAP.  27 

had  formerly  so  macli  admired  in  his  exemp- 
lars, and  which  afterwards  contributed  so  large- 
ly to  his  own  popularity  and  success  in  life. 

In  return  for  the  many  delicate  services  which, 
she  received  from  him  she  gave  him  a  plentiful 
supply  of  pocket-money ;  many  articles  of 
jewelry  indispensable  to  a  gentleman  in  his 
station  ;  a  diamond  shirt-stud ;  and,  when  Dennis 
concluded  to  purchase  a  larger  saloon  in  another 
portion  of  the  city,  the  necessary  capital  to  buy 
out  the  old  saloon,  repaint,  and  refit  it,  and  com- 
mence business  for  himself.  That  was  a  proud 
night  for  Michael  when,  standing  for  the  first 
time  in  front  of  his  own  bar,  while  the  radiance 
of  his  diamond  almost  blinded  his  new  bar- 
keeper, he  invited  up  a  number  of  his  political 
friends  Avho  had  assembled  to  offer  him  their 
congratulations,  and  himself  gave  the  order  he 
had  so  often  obeyed,  to  "  set  'em  up  all 
round." 

O  Michael  Mulhooly,  honored  representative 
of  a  wealthy  and  aristocratic  constituency  !  if, 
dozing  in  thy  seat  in  the  nation's  Capitol,  thou 
didst  ever  cast  back  thy  mental  eye  along  the 
long  line  of  thy  many  triumphs  and  achieve- 


28  AN     UPWARD    LEAP. 

ments,  say,  was  not  that  the  supreme  moment  of 
moments,  fullest  of  pride  and  gratified  ambi- 
tion and  unutterable  bliss,  when  thou  didst,  for 
the  first  time  in  thy  life,  utter  that  memorable 
order  to  thy  trembling  dependent,  "Larry,  set 
'em  up  all  round  "  ? 

But  the  most  important  of  the  many  advan- 
tages which  he  derived  from  his  association  with 
that  generous  woman — over  whose  unmarked 
and  nameless  grave,  alas  !  the  winter  winds 
now  wail — was  an  acquaintance  he  formed  at  her 
house  which  greatly  influenced  his  own  career 
and  materially  affected  the  political  history  of 
his  country.  Among  the  many  men  of  note  in 
local  politics  who  delighted  to  spend  their 
evenings  in  the  gay  circle  which  she  drew 
around  her,  and  who  welcomed  Michael  into 
their  midst  as  the  recognized  favorite  of  their 
hostess,  was  one  Blossom  Brick,  who  was  a 
leader  of  leaders  in  municipal  politics,  and 
whose  influence  was  recognized  in  state  and 
national  conventions.  Over  the  wine-cup  and 
out  of  the  confidences  of  the  midnight  revel  the 
casual  acquaintance  of  these  two  men  ripened 
into  a  close  and  intimate  friendship,  resulting 


AN     UPWARD    LEAP  29 

from  a  similarity  of  tastes  and  pursuits.  Blos- 
som Brick  was  not  slow  to  perceive  that  a  man 
like  Michael,  broad  of  shoulder,  muscular, 
fearless  and  always  ready  for  a  fight,  could  be 
of  service  to  him  in  many  ways.  In  the  early 
days  of  their  acquaintance  this  was  proved  to 
to  him  in  a  manner  which  he  could  not  soon 
forget.  Late  one  night,  just  after  they  had 
parted  at  Michael' s  door,  while  Brick  was  waiting 
to  hail  some  passing  cab,  a  poor  devil  whom  he 
had  caused  to  be  discharged  from  the  Custom- 
House  for  voting  contrary  to  his  wishes  in  a 
ward  convention,  rendered  desperate  by  the 
prospect  of  starvation  for  himself  and  his  little 
family,  and  maddened  by  the  rum  which  he  had 
been  drinking,  suddenly  sprang  upon  the  un- 
suspecting leader,  felled  him  with  a  powerful 
blow,  jumped  upon  him,  and  threatened  to 
avenge  the  wrongs  for  which  the  law  gave  him 
no  redress  by  scattering  upon  the  pavement  the 
brains  that  toiled  so  ceaselessly  for  the  public. 
For  an  instant  Blossom  Brick  was  compelled  to 
look  death  squarely  in  the  face,  and,  realizing 
his  imminent  danger,  his  cry  for  help  rang 
sharply  out  on  the  stillness  of  the  night  and 


30  AN     UPWARD    LEAP. 

the  lonely  street.  Fortunately  it  was  heard  by 
Michael,  who  sprang  out  just  in  time  to  save  his 
friend  from  a  terrible  blow ;  and  then  he  pun- 
ished the  assailant  so  severely  with  his  fists  and 
his  boots  that  the  poor  devil  had  to  be  taken  to 
a  hospital,  where  he  lay  for  six  weeks  in  a  fever, 
during  which  time  one  of  his  children  died,  and 
his  wife,  turned  into  the  streets  with  her  baby 
at  her  breast,  was  compelled  to  seek  shelter 
in  the  almshouse  to  save  herself  and  her  infant 
from  starvation. 

Blossom  Brick,  knowing  of  Michael's  many 
talents  for  x)olitics,  and  desiring  to  extend  his 
own  empire  over  the  ward  in  which  the  Tenth 
Precinct  House  was  situated,  undertook,  not 
unwillingly,  the  task  of  instructing  him  further 
in  the  mysteries  of  practical  politics — a  task  for 
which  he  was  pre-eminently  qualified. 


yi 

A  MODERN  STATESMAN. 

LOSSOM  BRICK  had  commenced  life 
by  learning  a  respectable  trade  ;  had 
married  a  respectable  girl  as  poor  as 
himself,  and  for  nearly  ten  years  had  earned  an 
honest  living  for  himself  and  his  family  by  hard 
work.  He  owned  the  small  house  in  which  he 
lived,  having  bought  it  out  of  his  savings,  and 
emjDloyed  two  workmen,  by  whose  labor  and  his 
own  he  was  able  to  make  from  $1,200  to  $1,500 
a  year.  Somehow  he  driited  into  politics,  for 
which  he  rapidly  acquired  a  taste,  and,  after 
serving  as  a  delegate  in  several  conventions,  was 
himself  nominated  for  the  Municipal  Legisla- 
ture, and  elected.  To  defray  his  expenses  he 
was  compelled  to  mortgage  his  little  house  for 
half  its  value.  As  the  ofiice  paid  not  one  cent 
in  salary  or  fees,  and  his  income  in  the  best  of 

[31] 


32  A     MODERN    STATESMAN. 

times  was  but  a  small  one,  his  neighbors  were 
surprised  that  he  would  pay  so  much  for  an 
honor  which  they  were  certain  he  could  not  af- 
ford to  buy  at  any  such  price.  They  were  also 
surprised  to  observe  that  he  soon  almost  wholly 
neglected  his  business,  and  devoted,  not  only  his 
days,  but  also  his  nights,  to  his  iDublic  duties 
and  political  pursuits.  But  what  surprised  them 
most  of  all  was  to  see  that,  as  his  business  fell 
off,  his  income,  in  some  unexplained  way,  was 
growing  larger  daily.  The  butcher,  the  baker 
and  the  grocer  could  not  fail  to  note  that  his 
bills  with  them  were  more  than  twice  as  large  as 
they  formerly  had  been,  and  that  they  were 
always  promptly  paid  on  presentation.  Inside 
of  a  year  the  mortgage  on  the  house  was  paid 
off,  and  the  house  itself  was  thoroughly  re- 
paired, re-painted  and  re-furnished.  Two  of  the 
children  were  sent  to  boarding-school,  and  both 
himself  and  his  wife  dressed  in  a  manner  which 
indicated  the  possession  of  considerably  more 
money  than  was  necessary  to  support  the  family 
in  their  present  style  of  living.  When  his  term 
expired,  he  was  re-nominated  and  re-elected  ;  but 
owing  to  the  liberality  and  popularity  of  his 


A     MODERN    STATESMAN.  33 

opponent,  a  wealthy  manufacturer,  it  was  gen- 
erally understood  that  his  campaign  expenses 
were  largely  increased  and  that  his  re-election 
had  cost  him  about  $2,000.  He  still  ostensibly 
carried  on  his  business,  and  continued  to  employ 
two  workmen,  but  he  had  ceased  to  give  it  his  per- 
sonal attention,  and  it  was  very  evident  that  he 
could  not,  from  their  labor,  make  much  more 
than  sufficed  to  pay  his  shop  expenses.  Where, 
then,  did  this  largely-increased  income  come 
from?  That  was  the  question  one  neighbor 
would  ask  of  another,  when  talking,  as  neighbors 
will  talk,  of  the  affairs  of  their  more  fortunate 
neighbor.  But  while  they  continued  to  talk  and 
to  wonder,  he  continued  on  in  his  strangely  pros- 
perous career  and  grew  richer  every  year.  At 
first  he  bought  a  house  adjoining  his  own  ;  then 
a  vacant  lot  on  the  other  side  of  his  house  ;  then 
two  houses  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street, 
and  before  the  close  of  his  third  term  he  was 
known  to  own  twelve  houses  in  the  ward  which 
he  represented.  He  was  re-elected  again  and 
again  almost  without  opposition,  so  completely 
had  he  got  the  working  politicians  of  the  ward, 
who  busy  themselves  at  delegate  elections  a^^'3 

8 


34  A    MODERN    STATESMAN. 

go  to  conventions,  under  liis  control.  His  con- 
stituents could  not  fail  to  see,  however  unob- 
servant they  were,  that  he  was  now  a  man 
of  considerable  wealth.  He  wore  a  diamond 
stud  woith  at  least  $1,000 ;  he  drove  a  pair 
of  fast  horses  every  fine  afternoon  to  the 
park,  and  bought  wine  with  the  liberality  of  a 
coal-oil  prince  ;  his  wife  dressed  in  silks  and  vel- 
vets, and  his  contributions  to  various  political 
organizations,  independent  of  his  expenses 
when  a  candidate  for  re-election,  amounted 
to  fully  twice  as  much  as  he  could  possibly  have 
made  out  of  his  business  when  he  worked  at  it 
from  morning  till  night.  But  he  seldom  even 
looked  into  the  shop  now,  although  the  sign  still 
remained  up  and  the  two  workmen  continued  to 
come  and  to  go,  and  to  talk  of  the  business  as 
though  it  was  their  own.  Those  of  his  constit- 
uents who  examined  his  record  could  not  fail 
to  observe  some  things  in  it  worthy  of  attention. 
They  saw  that  whenever  a  bill  was  up  involving 
the  outlay  of  a  large  sum  of  public  money,  he 
invariably  voted  in  favor  of  the  expenditure ; 
that  whenever  a  public  improvement  was  pro- 
posed, he  was  an  advocate  of  the  improvement ; 


A    MODERN     STATESMAN.  35 

that  the  Committee  on  Streets,  of  which  he  was 
a  member,  was  constantly  reporting  bills  to  open, 
pave  and  grade  streets,  some  of  which  no  mor- 
tal eye  had  seen,  and  no  mortal  foot  had  ever 
trodden  or  would  have  any  occasion  to  tread  for 
years  to  come;  and  many  of  which  appeared  only 
on  the  city  map  as  spaces  between  imaginary  lines 
leading  from  No-where  to  No-place.  They  also 
saw  that  when  any  corporation  or  citizen  desired 
legislation  of  pecuniary  advantage,  his  services 
were,  in  some  way,  and  at  some  time,  bound  to 
be  secured,  or  the  desired  legislation  failed  ;  for 
Blossom  Brick  had  become  the  acknowledged 
leader  of  the  Municipal  Legislature.  He  came 
to  look  upon  his  ward  as  a  property  which  he 
owned,  or  as  an  empire  which  he  had  the  right 
to  rule,  as  with  a  rod  of  iron.  No  man  in  it  could 
hope  for  any  appointment  except  through  him, 
and  no  man  in  it  dared  be  a  candidate  even  for 
school  director  without  his  permission.  He  even 
came  to  look  upon  the  whole  city  as,  in  a  large 
measure,  his  own  private  property.  He  made 
dailj'  visits  to  each  department  of  the  city  gov- 
ernment and  demanded  appointments  for  his 
followers  and   the  removal  of  those  who  diso- 


36  A     MODERN     STATESMAN. 

beyed  Mm,  as  though  the  departments  had  been 
created  for  his  exclusive  benefit. 

He  lived  but  for  the  public.  In  order  that 
the  people  might  make  no  mistakes  he  dictated 
what  nominations  should,  or  should  not,  be 
made.  To  save  the  people  trouble,  he  selected 
in  advance  their  candidates  for  legislators,  for 
congressmen,  for  judges.  He  did  not  hesi- 
tate to  direct  legislators,  congressmen  and 
judges  how  they  should  discharge  their  iDublic 
duties.  His  devotion  to  his  party  knew  no 
bounds.  At  every  important  election  he  or- 
ganized a  campaign  club  which  bore  his  name, 
and  paraded  a  thousand  uniformed  men,  bear- 
ing torches,  and  marching  with  the  precision  of 
veterans.  When  his  form  was  seen  advancing 
at  the  head  of  this  formidable  column,  briefless 
young  barristers  on  the  sidewalks,  filled  with 
vague  yearnings  for  political  fame,  knelt  in 
spirit  before  his  power,  and  well-fed  millionaires 
standing  at  the  windows  of  their  club-house 
nodded  approvingly  to  each  other  and  said, 
"  There  goes  a  man  whom  the  country  could 
not  afford  to  lose."  Such  devotion  to  the  public 
deserved  the  public  gratitude,  and  that  grati- 


A     MODERN     STATESMAN.  37 

tude  was  displayed  in  asking  him  no  qnestions 
as  to  where  his  money  came  from,  or  how  he 
could  grow  rich  by  serving  them  without  any 
salary.  Nor  was  he  insensible  of  the  debt  of 
gratitude  which  the  people  owed  him  ;  and  he 
did  not  hesitate  to  avail  himself  of  the  oppor- 
tunity to  extend  his  empire  over  three  ot'ier 
wards  as  large  as  his  own.  He  came  in  time  to 
speak  of  himself  and  his  political  associates  as 
*'We,  the  people." 


VII.. 

A  DIGRESSION. 

jHEN  one  man  owns  and  dominates  four 
wards  or  counties  lie  becomes  a 
Leader.  Half  a  dozen  such  Leaders 
combined  constitute  wliat  is  called  a  Ring. 
When  one  Leader  is  powerful  enough  to  bring 
three  or  four  such  Leaders  under  his  yoke  he 
becomes  a  Boss,  and  a  Boss  wields  a  power  as 
absolute,  while  it  lasts,  as  that  which  George  III. 
wielded  over  the  thirteen  colonies  until  they 
ungratefully  rebelled  against  him  and  com- 
menced to  murder  his  soldiers  and  take  away 
their  muskets  and  bayonets. 

The  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss  combined, 
constitute  the  modern  system  of  American  pol- 
itics which  has  been  found  to  work  so  success- 
fully in  all  large  cities,  especially  in  those  which 
are  fortunate  enough  to  have  secured  a  working 

[9B] 


A    DIGRESSION.  39 

majority  of  Loaders  from  Ireland.  It  has  also 
been  tried  with  encouraging  results  in  several  of 
the  oldest  and  largest  States  of  the  Union  ;  and 
even  with  all  the  disadvantages  of  American 
birth  and  prejudices,  some  men  have  been  found 
who  could  rule  their  own  States,  with  a  fair 
measure  of  success,  for  many  years,  by  combin- 
ing in  themselves  at  once,  all  the  functions  of 
the  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss. 

The  great  merit  of  this  system  is  that  it  takes 
from  the  people  all  the  trouble  of  self-govern- 
ment and  iiniDOses  that  burden  upon  the  Leaders, 
the  Ring  and  the  Boss,  compelling  them  to  as- 
sume aU  the  worriment  of  selecting  proper  pub- 
lic servants  and  all  the  responsibility  of  manag- 
ing public  affairs,  while  it  preserves,  in  unim- 
paired purity,  the  fonn  of  a  "government  of 
the  people,  by  the  people,  and  for  the  people." 

It  is  true  that  there  are  still  to  be  found  in 
this  country  some  very  honest  i)eople  who  are  so 
slow  to  learn  that  they  cry  out  against  this  sys- 
tem and  i^refer  the  methods  of  their  grandfa- 
thers, who,  for  want  of  something  better  to  do, 
were  willing  to  select  their  own  school  directors, 
constables,   judges,   legislators,   governors  and 


40  A    DIGRESSION. 

Presidents,  notwithstanding  the  anxiety  and 
labor  which  it  involved,  as  well  as  the  risk  of 
their  making  unwise  selections. 

It  is  also  true  that  there  are  many  disap- 
pointed office-seekers  whom  the  Leaders,  the 
Hing  and  the  Boss  have,  in  their  combined 
wisdom,  found  unfitted  for  the  public  service, 
who  go  about  declaiming  against  what  they  call 
Eing-rule  and  Boss-rule,  and  magnifying  what 
they  pretend  are  the  evil  results  of  the  opera- 
tion of  this  beneficent  system.  The  impartial 
historian  of  our  times,  while  appreciS,ting  their 
real  motives,  will  doubtless  give  them  a  patient 
hearing,  and  for  the  instruction  of  posterity, 
•will  set  down  at  some  length  their  objections, 
and  the  arguments  adduced  in  support  of  them. 
In  this  sketch  of  a  distinguished  representative 
of  this  system  it  will  be  sufficient  to  give  the 
following  specimens  to  show  what  obstacles 
the  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss  have  to 
overcome  in  their  unselfish  efforts  to  serve  an 
ungrateful  people. 

These  malcontents  say : 

"  Such  devotion  to  the  public  service,  if 
exercised  only  for  the  benefit  of  the  public, 


A    DIGRESSION.  41 

would  be  sublime  in  its  unselfishness.  But  it 
would  still  be  a  despotism,  pure  and  simple. 
That  it  is  exerted,  not  for  the  good  of  the 
people,  but  for  the  exclusive  benefit  of  the 
Leaders  and  Bosses  themselves,  is  self-evident." 

"  Ir  does  not  require  an  inspiration  of  genius 
to  perceive  that  when  a  man  makes  from  twenty 
to  a  hundred  thousand  dollars  a  year  out  of  an 
office  that  pays  no  salary  and  does  not  allow 
car-fare  or  postage- stamps  as  perquisites,  he 
makes  it  aliunde.''^ 

"It  does  not  require  a  revelation  from 
Heaven  to  demonstrate  that  such  a  mathemat- 
ical miracle  can  be  performed  only  by  Theft, 
for  official  corruption  is  Theft,  pure  and 
simple." 

"A  man  would  not  be  entitled  to  letters 
patent  of  the  United  States  for  the  discovery 
that  when  a  million  of  dollars  is  squandered  in 
contracts  controlled  by  three  or  four  Leaders, 
who  grow  mysteriously  rich  during  the  trans- 
action, they  have  stolen  at  least  a  portion  of 
that  money,  no  matter  how  loudly  they  pray  in 
church,  or  how  much  honesty  and  patriotism 
they  profess  in  public." 


42  A    DIGRESSION. 

"When  a  common  day-laborer,  in  twenty 
years  devoted  exclusively  to  politics,  becomes, 
not  only  a  Boss,  but  also  a  millionaire,  it  is  per- 
fectly safe  to  conclude  that  lie  is  a  thief,  aa 
well  as  a  tyrant  and  an  enemy  to  society  ;  and, 
though  the  statute  of  limitations  may  save  him 
from  the  x^enitentiary,  it  cannot  protect  him 
against  the  just  detestation  of  all  honorable 
men." 


VIII. 

A  POLITICAL  GAMALIEL. 

N  astute  and  experienced  politician 
once  gave  an  applicant  for  a  respon- 
sible and  lucrative  office  a  letter 
which  secured  his  appointment,  and  was  thus 
laconically  worded : 

"Dear  Tit; 

"The    bearer    understands    addition, 
division  and  silence.    Appoint  him  I 

"  Your  friend, 

"BILL." 

The  writer  of  that  letter  was  more  than  an 
epigrammatist ;  he  was  a  philosopher  who  had 
sounded  the  profoundest  de^^ths  of  politics  and 
who  deserves  immortality.  Addition !  Divis- 
ion !   Silence !    In  those  three  words  are  con- 

[431 


44  A    POLITICAL     GAMALIEL. 

tained  all  the  wisdom  of  modern  politics. 
Quite  recently,  however,  we  have  been  tanght 
to  embody  all  three  in  a  single  word — RE- 
BATE! 

Blossom  Brick  understood  every  possible 
meaning  and  combination  of  those  words.  He 
had  never  studied  political  economy,  but  he 
had  studied  the  people.  For  twenty  years  he 
had  lived  upon  them  and  grown  rich  from 
oflSces  that  paid  him  not  a  cent  in  salary  or  fees. 
He  knew  nothing  of  logical  forms  or  methods, 
but  he  knew  the  tree  by  its  fruits.  From  polit- 
ical results,  his  mind  jumped  to  political 
axioms.  His  conversation  became  ejjigram- 
matic.  It  was  not  scholarly,  or  elegant,  or 
refined ;  but  it  was  forcible,  frank,  easily 
understood,  and  full  of  worldly  wisdom.  It 
contained  the  germs  of  a  system  of  political 
philosophy  not  recorded  in  books.  Like  a 
female  savage  who  knows  nothing  of  the 
modesty  of  clothing,  he  spoke  without  shame 
of  the  things  he  did  without  blushing. 

Michael  Mulhooly,  so  to  speak,  sat  at  the 
feet  of  this  modern  political  Gamaliel,  and 
learned  wisdom.    He  treasured  up  his  sayings 


A     POLITICAL     GAMALIEL.  45 

as  the  words  of  Socrates  and  Plato  were 
treasured  up  and  transmitted  to  posterity 
by  their  disciples.  Some  of  these  sayings  are 
worthy  of  being  recorded.  Here  are  a  few 
specimens : 

In  speaking  of  the  people  and  the  little  share 
they  actually  have  in  governing  themselves, 
through  popular  elections,  he  said : 

"In  politics  the  people  are  blind  asses  who 
think  they  can  see  through  brick  walls ;  they 
are  only  dangerous  when  they  kick." 

"They  are  all  right.  Only  make  them  'be- 
lieve they  rule  and  they  are  happy." 

"  The  government  means,  not  those  who  vote, 
but  those  who  receive,  count  and  return  the 
votes." 

"Elections  are  ratification  meetings  which 
We  hold  to  indorse  our  nominations." 

"Election  laws  are  marked  cards  with  which 
We  cheat  the  opposition." 

"  A  man's  right  to  vote  depends  upon  what 
heading  the  judge  sees  on  his  ticket." 


46  A    POLITICAL     GAMALIEL. 

"It  matters  less  how  many  votes  you  have 
than  how  many  you  poll ;  it  matters  less  how 
many  you  poll  than  how  many  you  get 
counted." 

"  One  election  officer  well  in  hand  is  worth  a 
score  of  voters  on  the  half  shell." 

"  The  result  of  an  election  is  only  a  question 
of  figures.  A  stroke  of  the  pen  before  the 
figures  99  is  as  good  as  the  votes  of  a  hundred 
millionaire  taxpayers,  if  you're  smart  enough. 
to  get  away  with  it." 

"It  is  therefore  more  important  for  you  to 
see  the  election  officers  than  the  voters  of  your 
Precinct." 

"  It  is,  after  all,  only  a  question  of  money. 
Here's  a  rule  you  can  bet  j^our  bottom  dollar 
on,  and  the  man  who  invented  it  was  smart 
enough  at  figures  to  make  a  million  dollars  out 
of  politics  in  ten  years.  Divide  the  number  of 
votes  necessary  to  make  your  election  absolutely 
certain,  by  the  number  of  Precincts  in  which 
you  have,  or  can  make,  the  election  officers 
solid,  and  then  you  know  just  what  work  you 


A    POLITICAL     GAMALIEL.  47 

must  gcit  in  in  each  Precinct.  Then  multiply 
the  number  of  Precincts  you've  got  to  make 
solid  by  the  cost  per  Precinct,  and  you  know 
just  about  what  the  job'll  cost." 

*'Wliat  We  want  all  the  time  is  a  solid 
election-officer,  a  solid  jury,  a  solid  judge,  and 
a  solid  governor,  in  case  of  slips,  and  the 
people  may  be  d d." 

In  speaking  of  the  way  in  which  nomina- 
tions are  made  he  said  : 

"Party  rules  are  the  reins  and  i^arty  spirit 
the  bit  by  which  We  drive  the  i^eople  all  the 
time." 

"A  scratcher  is  a  traitor — to  Us." 

"  The  temporary  chairman  is  the  convention. 
He's  an  8  to  7  man  all  the  time." 

"If  you  can't  make  a  nomination  yourself, 

be  sure  to  name  j'our  man  ;  but  be  d d  sure 

he's  honest  enough — to  divide." 

"  Put  up  a  slate  you  want  broken  and  get  in 
your  real  work  behind  it.    When  the  people 


48  A    POLITICAL     GAMALIEL. 

have  broken  your  slate  with  their  heels  they 
take  a  rest,  and  everything's  lovely." 

"  The  meanest  thing  in  the  world  is  a  Ring — 
that  counts  me  out." 

"  If  you  want  office,  young  man,  kneel  to  the 
Boss  first,  then  to  the  Leaders,  then  to  the 
people,  and  afterwards  to  the  Lord,  if  you  have 
any  spare  time  left !" 

In  speaking  of  bribery  and  corruption,  he 
said: 

"A  man  who's  d d  fool  enough  to  call  in 

witnesses  to  see  him  take  a  bribe  deserves  the 
extreme  penalty  of  the  law." 

"The  man  who  gives  a  bribe  canH  tell  and 
the  fellows  who  divide  it  wonH  ;  so  the  law  pro- 
tects the  boys  all  the  time." 

"  Oaths  of  office  are  the  most  useful  things  I 
know  of — they  make  people  believe  in  Us." 

"The  man  who  intimates  that  I  can  be 
bought  insults  me— not  the  fellow  who  talka 
biz." 


A     POLITICAL     GAMALIEL.  49 

"The  larger  the  divisor  the  smaller  my 
share  ;  therefore  I  want  as  few  in  the  pot  as  pos- 
sible." 

"OflBcial  advertising  is  the  Pain-Killer  of 
Politics." 

"Give  the  people  plenty  of  taffy  and  the 
newspapers  plenty  of  advertising — then  help 
yourself  to  anything  that's  lying  around  loose." 

"A  chunk  of  meat  will  cure  the  bark  and 
the  bite  of  a  dog  ;  therefore  if  you  don't  know 
how  to  silence  a  Reformer,  it's  your  own 
fault." 

"Honesty  is  the  best  policy  by  all  odds— 
when  you're  in  a  hole." 

"It's  cheaper  to  buy  with  promises  than  with 
cash." 

And  once,  when  there  were  signs  of  a  rebel- 
lion against  one  of  their  candidates,  he  said  sol- 
emnly : 

"If  the  people  evee tumble  to  ouPw game, 
— Hell  will  be  to  pay  I" 
4 


IX. 

THE  3IACHINE. 

^^plNDER  the  tuition  of  sucli  a  master. 
j;i^ia  Micliael  Mulhooly  could  not  fail  to 
^^J.|  make  rapid  strides  in  the  study  of 
practical  statesmanship.  As  a  member  of  the 
Ward  Committee,  as  the  proprietor  of  a 
saloon  which  was  becoming  the  party  head- 
quarters of  the  Ward,  as  well  as  of  the  Pre- 
cinct, and,  as  the  intimate  friend  of  so  x)owerful 
a  Leader  as  Blossom  Brick,  his  influence  grew 
so  rapidly  that  in  a  short  time  he  was  chosen  as 
the  representative  of  his  Ward  in  the  City  Com- 
mittee. From  this  vantage  ground  he  could 
survey  the  whole  political  held,  and  study  the 
party  organization  in  all  its  divisions  and  sub- 
divisions. He  saw  that  it  was  a  political 
machine  as  complicated,  as  ingenious,  as  perfect 
as  the  works  of  a  watch — that  it  had  its  little 
wheels  and  big  wheels  all  moving  within  and 
50 


THE    MACHINE.  51 

upon  and  around  each  other  in  perfect  harmony 
and  ^vith  a  common  purpose  ;  that  it  had  its 
regulator,  its  hair-spring,  its  balance-wheel,  and 
its  great,  strong  main-spring  which  kept  the 
whole  in  motion,  in  obedience  to  the  will  of  the 
master  spirit,  who  kept  the  key  and  understood 
its  use.  He  proceeded  to  study  it,  somewhat 
after  the  manner  of  an  apprentice  who  under- 
takes to  study  the  works  which  he  must  be  able 
some  day  to  make,  and  who,  therefore,  holds 
them  up  between  his  eye  and  the  light  and,  hav- 
ing thus  gained  a  comprehension  of  them  as  a 
whole,  proceeds  slowly  and  carefully  to  take 
them  to  pieces,  examining  each  wheel  and  pinion 
so  as  to  understand  its  composition,  form, 
function  and  relation  to  every  other  part,  and 
then  endeavors  slowly  and  carefully  to  put  them 
together  again,  so  that  they  will  once  more  per- 
form their  i:)erfect  work. 

He  saw  that  the  party  organization  was  com- 
posed primarily  of  Precinct  Committees,  Ward 
Committees  and  the  City  Committee,  and,  sec- 
ondarily, of  Conventions  to  i)lace  in  nomination 
candidates  for  various  offices  to  be  chosen  at 
elections  held  by  the  people  ;  and  that  all  these 


52  THE    MACHINE. 

various  members  or  parts  of  the  organizatioD 
were  provided  for  and  governed  by  a  system 
of  laws  called  Party  Rules,  which  operated 
like  the  Constitution  and  laws  of  a  great 
Commonwealth.  He  saw  that  while  this  jDerfect 
party  organization  was  ostensibly  created  to  in- 
sure the  success  of  the  party,  and,  thereby,  the 
good  of  the  people,  it  had  been  so  ingeniously 
devised  as  to  compel  obedience  on  the  part  of 
the  great  body  of  voters,  while  it  i^laced  the  en- 
tire control  of  the  whole  machinery  in  a  central 
head  or  master-spirit,  composed  of  one  man,  or 
two  men,  or  half  a  dozen  men,  according  to  cir 
cumstances  ;  or  in  other  words,  of  the  Leaders, 
the  Ring,  and  the  Boss.  He  saw  also,  that 
however  the  Party  Rules  might  be  modified 
from  time  to  time,  in  the  apparent  interest  of 
the  great  body  of  voters,  in  their  practical  opera- 
tion, they  would  still  be  found  to  contribute 
only  toward  strengthening  the  power  of  those 
who,  by  the  natural  tendency  of  party  organiza- 
tions towards  centralization  of  power,  might, 
from  time  to  time,  constitute  the  Leaders,  the 
Ring  and  the  Boss. 

lie  saw  that  by  this  system  the  Leaders,  the 


THE    MACHINE.  53 

Ring,  and  the  Boss  practically  nominated  all 
candidates,  and  as— where  the  party  is  largely  in 
the  majority,  and  the  voters  can  be  kept  in  the 
traces — a  nomination  is  equivalent  to  an  election, 
they,  therefore,  practically  appointed  all  iDublio 
officers,  under  the  form  of  an  election  by  the  peo- 
ple. He  saw  that  this  system  necessitated  a  spe- 
cies of  competitive  examination,not  contemplated 
by  the  advocates  of  civil  service  reform,  but  cal- 
culated to  strengthen  the  system  and  perpetuate 
the  power  of  those  who  control  it.  He  saw  that 
one  who  would  enter  the  lisrs  as  a  candidate 
must  give  satisfactory  proofs  that  he  had  already 
rendered  valuable  services  to  Them ;  that  no  other 
man  could  lill  the  place  with  such  advantage  to 
Them  ;  and  that  he  would  at  all  times,  and  under 
every  circumstance,  implicitly  obey  Their  orders, 
irrespective  of  consequences,  legal,  moral,  social, 
or  political.  He  saw  that  if,  for  instance,  one 
desired  to  be  a  candidate  for  judicial  honors,  he 
must  be  able  to  give  undoubted  assurances, 
either  by  his  past  record,  or  by  some  satisfactory - 
pledges,  that  he  would  hold  his  office  as  cf  Their 
gift,  and  might  be  at  all  times  safely  and  pri- 
vately conferred  with  by  Them,  so  as  to  be  in- 


54  THE    MACHINE. 

structed  liow  to  further  Their  interests  in 
matters  falling  within  the  scope  of  his  judicial 
functions. 

He  soon  saw  that  this  whole  system  was 
founded  on  (a)  the  tendency  of  every  voter  to 
work  in  the  traces,  and  vote  for  any  man  osten- 
sibly nominated  by  the  party  ;  (5)  the  strict 
enforcement  of  the  Party  Rules  ;  and  (c)  the 
judicious  distribution  of  the  4,036  regularly 
salaried  offices  in  the  various  departments  of 
the  city  government,  with  a  salary  list  of 
$6,595,625.50;  the  various  municipal.  State  and 
national  offices  to  which  only  perquisites  and 
aliunde  profits  are  attached ;  the  various  ap- 
pointments which  may  be,  from  time  to  time, 
controlled  in  the  various  State  and  national 
offices,  such  as  the  Cnstom-House,  Post-Office, 
Treasury,  &c.,  and  of  the  various  contracts  for 
public  work,  involving  the  outlay  of  millions  of 
dollars  given  to  contractors  who  are  willing  not 
only  to  Hebate.  but  also  to  properly  control  at 
all  times  the  thousands  of  workmen  whom  they 
employ  in  the  public  service.  His  estimate  was 
that,  directly  and  indirectly,  nearly  ten  thousand 
persons  were  employed,  and  nearly  $10,000,000 


THE    MACHINE.  55 

expended  annually  in  the  public  service  through 
these  various  channels. 

He  next  endeavored  to  learn  something  about 
how  these  offices  were  distributed,  and  for  that 
purpose  he  made  up  a  list  of  the  members  of 
the  City  Committee,  and  the  occupation  of 
each  member,  with  the  following  result,  viz.  : 

CITY  COMMITTEE. 

Ward.             Memler.  Occupation.  Salari/. 

1.  Dennis  McXulty,         Department  of  Taxes.  $2,500. 

2.  Michael  McCann,  "               Water.  2,000. 

3.  Patiicli  SlnBridc,  •'                   "  2,000. 

4.  Timotliy  McCrory,  "              Streets.  1,800. 

5.  James  ileElwee,  "                 Fires.  2,000. 
G.  Owen  McPiak,  "           Wharves.  1,900. 

7.  ^Michael  ]\Iulliooly, 

8.  James  ^IcPodd,  "  Health.       2,250. 

9.  John  McGuiizgen,  "  Markets.       1,800. 

10.  Tim.  O'lloolahan,  "  Sewers.  2,000. 

11.  Blossom  Drick,  Municipal  Legislature.  ?. 

12.  James  O'KaiTurthy,      Department  of  Parks.  2,200. 

13.  Micliael  IMcGaugiiey,  "         "       Taxes.  2,500. 

14.  Thomas  McXabb,  Dcp't  of  Public  BuikVn's.  2,350. 

15.  John  Smitli, 

16.  Patrick  O'Donahugh,    Department  of  Fires.  2,000. 

17.  James  Kelly,  "  Schools.  ?. 

18.  Michael  Mulligan,  "  Streets.  2,200. 

19.  Bernard  ^McCoul,  "        Wharves.  1,900. 

20.  James  McGinnis,  "  Water.  2,000. 
31.  Robert  Lanaigan,  Candidate  foi  Municipal  Legislature. 


56 


THE    MACHINE. 


He  also  made  up  a  similar  list  of  the  Presi- 
dents of  the  various  Ward  Committees,  and  the 
occupation  of  each,  with  the  following  result, 
viz. : 

PRESIDENTS  OF  WARD  COM^IITTEES. 


Warii 

I.         President. 

Occupation. 

Salary. 

1. 

Dominick  McGrody, 

Department  of  Fires. 

$1,500. 

2. 

Daniel  McMackin, 

ii 

Wharves. 

1,200. 

3, 

Thomas  McCue, 

(( 

Health. 

1,400. 

4. 

John  McTee, 

i( 

Streets. 

1,200. 

5. 

Michael  McLaughlin, 

(( 

Sewers. 

1,000. 

6. 

James  O'Dowd, 

(( 

Taxes. 

1,250. 

7. 

John  O'Toole, 

(( 

Parks. 

1,000. 

8. 

Patrick  O'Rourke, 

(( 

Water. 

1,300, 

9. 

Bernard  O'Leary, 

(( 

Markets. 

1,400. 

10. 

Sandy  McDermott,  Dep't  of  PublicBuild'n's. 

1,000. 

11. 

Patrick  Kclley, 

i( 

Justice. 

1,200. 

13. 

Timothy  ]\IcElhone, 

u 

Police. 

1,000. 

13. 

James  O'Donnell, 

<( 

Treasury. 

1,500. 

14. 

John  ]McFall, 

(C 

Comptroller. 

1,200. 

15. 

Dennis  McCrystal, 

(( 

Schools. 

?. 

16. 

John  McCrossin, 

u 

Public  Build'u's. 

1,200. 

17. 

Michael  McGahey, 

u 

Parks. 

1,000. 

18. 

Larry  McCiisker, 

<( 

Water. 

1,200. 

19. 

James  McGurrity, 

l( 

Taxes. 

1,500. 

20. 

Hugh  ]\IcDaid, 

Contractor  on  Streets. 

?. 

21. 

John  Brown,   Candidate  for 

Municipal  Legislature. 

He  did  not  attempt  to  make  up  a  complete 
list  of  the  five  hundred  and  thirty  members  of 
the  various  Ward  Committees,  or  of  the  Chair- 


THE    MACHINE.  57 

men  and  members  of  the  live  hundred  and  thirty 
Precinct  Committees,  or  of  the  two  secretaries 
of  eacli  of  these  City,  Ward  and  Precinct 
Committees,  or  of  the  many  local  Leaders,  for 
whom  there  is  no  room  on  Committees,  but  who 
render  valuable  services  in  Ward,  District  and 
City  Conventions,  in  return  for  the  appoint- 
ments which  they  hold. 

His  examination,  though  imperfect,  had 
been  carried  far  enough  to  show  him  these 
important  results  : 

1.  That  nearly  every  member  of  the  City 
Committee  and  of  the  various  Ward  Committees 
held  a  lucrative  position  by  the  appointment  of 
some  Leader  whose  orders  lie  was  compelled  to 
obey. 

2.  That,  as  these  Committees  fix  the  times 
and  places  for  holding  Conventions,  select  the 
temporarj'  Chairmen  to  organize  them,  and 
decide  all  disputes  and  appeals,  they  practically 
control  all  Conventions. 

3.  That  every  one  of  these  four  thousand  and 
thir(y-six  Department  employees  is  presumed  to 
be  able  to  go  to  a  Convention  when  ordered  to  do 
so,  or  to  send  in  his  place  a  person  who  will 


58  THE    MACHINE. 

obey  orders  ;  and  that  these  appointees,  as  wel] 
as  the  thousands  of  others  in  other  offices  and 
employments,  are  so  distributed  through  the 
different  Wards  as  to  be  able,  when  acting  in' 
concert,  to  control  a  large  majority  of  all  the 
Wards. 

4.  That  the  Leaders  had,  in  one  way  or 
another,  obtained  control  of  one  Department  of 
the  City  Government  after  another,  until  more 
than  four- fifths  of  all  the  men  employed  directly 
and  indirectly  in  the  public  service  and  paid  by 
the  public  money  were  under  their  immediate 
orders. 

6.  That  the  Leaders  were  themselves  subject 
to  the  orders  of  the  Boss,  who  had  made  most 
of  them,  and  without  whose  favor  they  would  be 
comparatively  powerless. 

6.  That  the  Boss  was  the  Great  Supreme. 


X. 


THINKS  OF  HBtSELF. 


IICHAEL  MULHOOLY'S  reflections, 
based  on  his  political  observations, 
resolved  themselves  into  the  form  of 
elementary  rules  which  he  would  probably  have 
jDut  into  something  like  this  shape  : 

1.  To  succeed,  you  must  be  useful.  There- 
fore make  yourself  useful  at  the  polls.  It  may 
be  done  in  many  wa3''S. 

2.  Attach  yourself  as  soon  as  possible  to  a 
Leader.  The  greater  his  power  the  better  ;  and 
the  more  useful  you  can  be  to  him  the  greater 
will  be  your  reward.  Whoop  for  him  all  the 
time  ! 

3.  Secure  the  control  of  your  Precinct  at  the 

earliest   possible    moment.       Setting   'em    up 

freely  and  frequently  for  the  boys,  is  the  best 

way  to  begin. 

[50] 


6o  THINKS    OF    HIMSELF. 

4.  Then  extend  your  influence  to  the  adjoin- 
ing Precinct,  and  so  on  from  one  to  another, 
until  you  can  control  a  majority  of  the  Pre- 
cincts of  your  Ward.  To  do  this,  you  must 
form  combinations  with  men  like  yourself,  and 
secure  employment  for  others  in  return  for  the 
services  you  render  the  Leaders. 

5.  When  you  have  gained  the  control  of 
your  own  Ward,  you  are  yourself  a  Leader  with 
a  big  L,  and  are  entitled  to  something  soft. 

6.  From  this  time  forward,  the  more  candi- 
dates you  help  to  nominate  and  the  more  men 
you  get  appointed  by  them,  the  higher  your 
rank  among  Leaders  and  the  more  abundant 
your  harvest. 

7.  Always  remember  that  in  politics  the 
Boss  is  God ! 

He  was  now  in  a  position  which  he  thought 
entitled  him  to  some  reward  for  his  labors.  He 
had  represented  his  Ward  in  the  City  Com- 
mittee for  nearly  a  year  ;  had  on  several  occa- 
sions voted  on  important  questions,  according 
to  Blossom  Brick's  wishes— the  highest  law 
that  he  then  knew  ;  had  friends  for  whom  he 
had  secured  employment,  and  who  would  stand 


THINKS    OF    HIMSELF.  6x 

by  him  in  every  Precinct  of  the  Ward,  and  con- 
sequently felt  that,  with  the  favor  of  the  Boss, 
he  could  easily  secure  a  majority  of  the  dele- 
gates to  a  Ward  Convention.  Without  that 
favor,  he  knew  it  would  be  useless  for  him  to 
attempt  anything. 

He  looked  over  the  entire  field  to  see  what 
position  within  his  reach  would  best  enable  him 
to  make  money  and,  at  the  same  time,  to  extend 
his  political  influence.  He  saw  that  if  he  asked 
for  and  received  an  appointment  in  one  of  the 
City  Departments  his  salary  would  be  limited, 
his  fjerquisites  small,  his  time  no  longer  his 
own,  and  that  he  would  lose  his  independence 
and  make  no  headway  towards  that  leadership 
to  which  he  aspired.  He  saw  that  to  obtain  a 
seat  in  the  State  Legislature  he  would  have  to 
defeat  the  sitting  member,  who  was  popular  with 
the  party  workers,  and  useful  to  the  Leaders, 
whom  he  had  faithfully  served  for  two  sessions. 
He  saw  also  that,  even  if  he  could  secure  the 
nomination,  his  campaign  expenses  would  more 
than  consume  his  whole  salary,  while  the 
chances  for  an  inexperienced  legislator  to  make 
anything  aliujide  would  not  be  good.     He  XuUy 


62  THINKS    OF    HIMSELF. 

realized  that  he  was  too  young  in  politics  to 
hope  for  any  valuable  city  office.  But  he  saw 
from  the  example  of  his  friend  Blossom  Brick 
that  if  a  member  of  the  Municipal  Legislature 
failed  to  make  his  position  pay,  both  pecuni- 
arily and  politically,  he  could  blame  no  one  but 
himself.  He  also  saw  that  there  would  be  a 
chance  for  him  to  enter  this  body  from  his 
Ward  if  he  could  secure  the  Boss's  approbation. 
The  member  at  that  time,  J.  Augustus  Dootson, 
Esq.,— a  young  lawyer  whose  prepossessing 
appearance,  perfect  taste  in  pantaloons  and 
positive  genius  for  leading  a  German,  had 
secured  him  a  rich  wife  with  a  handsome 
income  and  a  brown-stone  house  on  a  fashion- 
able square— had  been  nominated  by  the 
Leaders  as  a  means  of  conciliating  certain 
wealthy  tax-payers  of  the  Ward  who  had  been 
seized  with  the  Reform-fever  and  had  threat- 
ened to  overthrow  the  Leaders  and  their  system. 
But  this  young  gentleman,  upon  taking  his  seat, 
had  endeavored  to  walk  alone,  or,  in  the  lan- 
guage of  Blossom  Brick,  "  to  set  up  in  business 
for  himself,"  and  consequently  it  was  not  prob- 
able  that  those  whom  he   had  thus  insulted 


THINKS    OF    ITTMSELF.  63 

when  they  sought  to  guide  his  inexperienced 
legislative  footsteps,  would  favor  his  re-nomi- 
nation. Michael,  therefore,  concluded  that  as 
he  might  go  further  and  do  much  worse,  he 
would  suggest  the  subject  of  his  own  candidacy 
for  this  office  to  his  friend  Blossom  Brick. 
This  he  did  without  delay  and  found  that  the 
idea  was  highly  commended  by  that  sagacious 
statesman.  It  was  accordingly  determined  that 
the  subject  should  be  diplomatically  opened  to 
the  Boss,  and  that  Michael,  who  had  never  seen 
Him,  should  be  presented  on  the  first  favorable 
opportunity.  A  few  days  later  Blossom  -Brick 
called  and  took  the  young  aspirant  for  legisla- 
tive honors  to  learn  His  pleasure. 


XI. 


THE  BOSS. 


I^WfTCHAEL  had  heard  so  much  of  Him, 


of  His  power,  and  of  His  mighty 
wrath  when  offended,  that  his  legs 
naturally  shook  when  they  were  about  to  usher 
him,  for  the  first  time,  into  that  august  Pres- 
ence. He  Avas  not  quite  certain  that  he  would" 
not  find  Him  seated  upon  a  throne,  clad  in  regal 
purple,  w^earing  a  crown  of  diamonds,  and  sur- 
rounded by  all  the  splendor  of  royalty. 

When  he  entered  the  modestly  furnished 
private  office  where  this  Great  Ruler  received 
His  reports  from  His  ten  thousand  faithful  sub- 
jects, and  issued  those  secret  orders  which  were 
the  cause  of  so  much  happiness  or  misery,  by 
which  men  were  set  up  or  destroyed  at  His  awful 
l)leasure,  his  sense  of  relief  was  scarcely  less 
than  his  feeling  of  disappointment    to  see  a 

[64] 


THE    BOSS.  65 

plainly-dressed,  ordinary-looking  man,  reclining 
negligently  in  an  arm-chair,  with  His  feet  rest- 
ing on  the  top  of  a  table  before  Ilim,  laughing 
and  talking  like  any  ordinary  mortal,  with  two 
or  three  other  plainly-dressed,  ordinary-looking 
men,  who  wore  their  hats  in  His  presence,  and 
did  not  perceptibly  tremble  when  they  addressed 
Him. 

The  conversation  related  to  a  certain  member 
of  Congress  who  was  seeking  a  re-nomination, 
and  had  declared,  as  some  one  stated,  that  he 
intended  to  return  to  Congress  with  the  Boss's 
permission,  or  without  it.  At  this  remark  the 
Boss's  face  flushed  hotly,  and,  turning  angrily 
towards  Blossom  Brick,  He  said — with  a  slight 
accent  that  assured  Michael  he  was  about  to  ap- 
proach a  fellow-countryman  :  "D'ye  hear  that, 
Brick?  Didn't  I  make  him  befoor,  just  to  plaze 
you  ;  and  didn't  I  tell  ye  the  whipper-strapper 
'd  be  agin  Us?" 

"Indeed  you  did,"  replied  Brick,  '  and  now 
We've  got  to  teach  him  a  lesson.  We'll  show 
him  that  We  make  Congressmen." 

Then  calling  up  Michael,  he  introduced  him 
to  the  Boss,  who  bade  Mm  "sit  down,"  and, 

6 


66  THE    BOSS. 

without  changing  his  position,  said,  "  Mi  friend 
Briclv  tells  Me  you'd  like  to  go  till  the  Munici- 
pal Legislature  from  your  Ward.  I  can  tell 
you  wan  thing — I'm  agin  Dootson.  I  don't  like 
him.  I  made  him  befoor,  as  me  friend  Brick  '11 
tell  you,  and  now  he's  putting  on  airs,  and  I 
mane  till  punish  him.  I'd  like  to  know  where 
he'd  have  been  but  for  Me?"  Then  turning  to 
one  of  the  other  gentlemen,  he  said:  "D'ye 
know  that  after  all  I  did  for  that  fellow  Dootson, 
Isintfor  him  whin  the  bill  till  pave  Goodenougli 
sthreet  was  up,  and  touldhira  I  was  much  inter- 
isted  in  it,  and  that  I'd  thank  him  till  vote  for 
it.  And  what  d'ye  think  he  answered  Me? 
That  the  respictible  people  of  his  Ward  were 
opposed  till  it,  and  therefore  he  couldn't  do  it. 
Then  I  tould  him  to  go  back  till  the  respictible 
people  of  his  Ward,  and  ask  them  till  re-nomi- 
nate him,  but  that  I'd  be  agin  him  anyhow. 
And  d'ye  know  that  he  hasn't  spooken  till  Me 
since?  Sometimes  I  think  I'll  give  up  polatics 
intirely.  The  more  you  do  for  son\e  people,  the 
more  ungrateful  they  are  till  ye." 

The  gentleman  addressed  laughed,  and  said, 
"  Oh  !  you  always  say  that." 


THE    BOSS.  67 

Then  the  Boss,  who  was  evidently  smarting 
under  the  recollections  of  the  ingratitude  with 
which  He  was  treated,  put  on  His  hat,  com- 
menced to  pull  on  His  overcoat,  and  Blossom 
Brick  said,  "Come,  Mike,  let's  go!"  and  the 
interview  terminated.  Michael  himself  had  not 
spoken  a  word,  and  he  went  away  entirely  un- 
certain as  to  whether  the  Boss  intended  to 
"make  him,"  or  not. 

But  though  the  interview  had  not  been  all 
thac  he  might  have  desired,  it  was,  nevertheless, 
of  great  political  significance.  He  had  climbed 
to  the  radiant  summit  of  the  iDolitical  Olympus ; 
had  stood  at  the  very  foot  of  the  throne  ;  had 
listened  to  the  hurtling  of  the  direful  thunder- 
bolts hurled  wrath  fully  down  towards  the  earth 
in  his  very  x^resence,  and  had  talked,  face  to 
face,  with  the  great  Jove,  Himself. 


xn. 

FEEDS  WITH  THE  GODS. 

FEW  days  later  Michael  Mulliooly 
was  bidden  to  a  banquet  of  the 
Gods. 

An  invitation  came  from  a  gentleman  whom 
he  had  never  seen,  but  of  whom  he  had  fre- 
quently heard  as  a  favorite  contractor,  who  fur- 
nished half  a  million  dollars'  worth  of  supplies 
to  the  city,  to  an  excursion  and  banquet  given 
to  the  Boss,  and  such  of  the  Superior  Deities 
and  such  of  His  most  highly-favored  subjects  as 
He  might  indicate  it  was  His  pleasure  to  have 
invited. 

It  was  a  banquet  worthy  of  the  Gods.  Every- 
thing that  could  charm  the  eye,  delight  the  ear, 
tempt  the  palate,  please  the  stomach  and  elevate 
the  soul  was  pjrovided  most  bountifully.  Every- 
thing was  arranged  so  as  to  convey  some  deli- 

[68] 


FEEDS     WITH     THE    GODS.  69 

cately-siiggested  compliment  to  the  political 
Father  of  Gods  and  men.  Fragrant  beds  of 
many-colored  flowers  arrested  the  eye,  and 
showed  His  monogram  worked  in  the  sweetest 
and  most  beautiful  rose  buds,  as  though  nature 
had  busied  herself  to  do  Him  honor.  Birds  of 
gorgeous  plumage,  half  hidden  in  ivy-covered 
bowers,  called  out  His  name  to  every  passer-by, 
as  though  the  pleased  universe  could  not  keep 
the  joyful  secret  of  His  presence.  The  music 
consisted  of  the  old  songs  and  national  melodies 
that  He  most  loved  to  hear,  and  which,  in  His 
hours  of  relaxation.  He  was  wont  to  hum  softly 
to  Himself.  Wine,  sweet  as  the  honey  of  Hy- 
mettus,  and  cold  as  the  snows  that  melt  on  the 
top  of  Mount  Hyblas,  flowed  from  gigantic 
bottles  labeled,  in  letters  of  pure  gold,  "The 
Boss" — His  own  favorite  brand,  named  after 
Himself.  The  toasts  proposed  were  all  varia- 
tions of  one  theme — the  honor  due  from  men 
and  Gods  to  Him,  and  the  speeches  all  took  up 
and  repeated  this  refrain  in  all  the  varieties  of 
tone  and  semitone,  like  a  musical  symi:)hony. 

The  guests  being  of  His  own  selection  were 
worthy  of  His  presence.     With  the  exception  of 


70     FEEDS     WITH     THE    GODS. 

Michael  Mnlhooly,  a  Judge,  a  Governor,  and  the 
liberal  Amphitryon  of  the  feast,  none  were 
loresent  except  those  Superior  Deities  who  pre- 
sided over  Departments,  or  whose  dominions 
consisted  of  not  less  than  two  or  three  Wards. 
Blossom  Brick,  as  His  acknowledged  favorite, 
sat  at  His  right  hand  and  whispered  in  His  ear, 
from  time  to  time,  those  brilliant  inspirations  of 
statesmanship  that  were  constantly  jaashinglike 
meteors  across  his  own  mighty  mind. 

Juno  and  Minerva  were,  of  course,  absent. 
Even  lovely  Venus  herself  had  not  been  invited. 
It  was  not  customary  to  bid  to  these  stag-ban- 
quets Terpsichore  or  Thalia,  Melpomene  or 
Urania,  or  any  of  their  talented  sisters,  and  even 
Hebe  was  forbidden  to  show  her  pretty  face  and 
trim,  lightly-clad  figure  on  such  occasions.  Not 
that  the  female  divinities  were  put  wholly  out 
of  mind ;  for  the  conversation  would  sometimes 
drift  from  graver  themes  to  such  lighter  sub- 
jects as  the  size  of  Terpsichore's  ankle,  or  the 
perfect  swell  of  Venus' s  matchless  bust.  But 
their  conversation  dwelt  mainly  on  weightier 
matters,  such  as  the  political  affairs  of  men  and 
the  destinies  in  store  for  them.     It  was  custom- 


FEEDS     WITH     THE     GODS.  71 

ary,  too,  on  such  occasions  to  determine  who, 
among  the  sons  of  men,  by  reason  of  their 
fiupoiior  lidelity,  were  entitled  to  political  re- 
wards ;  and  who,  on  account  of  their  disloyalty, 
were  especially  deserving  of  punishment.  These 
were  also  considered  fitting  opportunities  for 
the  Superior  Deities  to  ask  for  those  political 
favors  for  their  friends  which,  in  His  moments 
of  greatest  good  humor,  He  was  accustomed  to 
distribute  among  them. 

The  hours  glided  imperceptibly  by,  and, 
as  the  day  began  to  wane,  the  Boss,  soothed 
and  melted  by  the  flatteries  which  rose  around 
Him,  looked  approvingly  towards  Michael 
Mulhooly  and  said  once  or  twice  with  emphasis, 
'Tm  fur  'im.  Yis,  I'm  fur  'im,"  and  then 
added  angrily,  "  I  mane  to  tache  young  Dootson 
what  it  costs  to  defy  Me.  I'll  show  him  what 
the  respictible  people  of  his  AVard  can  do  for 
any  wan  that's  agin  Me  !" 

This  was  a  decree  of  Fate.  It  affected  the 
destiny  of  a  great  people,  shook  a  continent 
and  materially  altered  a  naticn's  history. 


XIII. 

AN  M.  L. 


ICHAEL  MULHOOLY  was  duly  nomi- 
nated and  elected  to  the  Municipal 
Legislature.  When  his  campaign  was 
over  he  found  that  it  had  cost  him  considerably 
more  than  he  had  expected  to  be  called  upon  to 
pay  for  the  honor  to  which  he  aspired  ;  and  at 
first  he  failed  to  see  clearly  how  he  was  to  get 
back  the  $1,400,  which  he  had  expended  in  pay- 
ing his  assessment,  in  his  contribution  to  the 
"  Michael  Mulhooly  Club,"  in  the  j)urchase  of  a 
diamond  for  the  Boss,  and  in  several  other  in- 
vestments of  a  confidential  character,  which  it  is 
not  necessary  or  proper  to  particularly  set 
forth. 

But  before  he  had  been  in  his  seat  many 
months  several  opportunities  occurred,  of  which 
he  was  not  slow  to  take  advantage,  which  en- 

[72] 


AN    M.     L.  73 

abled  him  to  make  up  all  he  had  spent  and  to 
lay  the  foundation  of  his  fortune. 

The  firm  of  Stone,  Lime  &  Co.,  of  which 
the  Amphitryon  of  the  feast  was  a  member, 
impressed  with  the  influence  which  must  of 
necessity  be  wielded  by  one  whose  relations 
with  the  Boss  were  so  intimate  as  Michael 
Mulhooly's,  enlisted  that  rising  statesman's 
interest  in  passing  an  ordinance  which  would 
result  in  their  furnishing  a  large  quantity  of 
material  for  some  i^ublic  works,  and  promised, 
in  the  event  of  his  success,  to  leave  with  him  a 
contribution  of  $5,000,  to  be  expended  in  any 
way  which  he  might  deem  for  the  best  interest 
of  the  party  to  which  they  were  all  so  devotedly 
attached.  He  did  his  work  so  well  and  disx)osed 
5f  the  fund  so  advantageously  that  over  $2,500 
of  it  remained  in  his  hands  for  future  distribu- 
tion. 

Not  long  afterwards  the  firm  of  Iron,  Steel  & 
Co.  conceived  the  project  of  building  for  the 
city  a  bridge,  at  a  cost  of  $1,500,000.  Under- 
standing the  kind  of  argument  which  could  be 
most  successfully  used  to  secure  the  passage 
of  legislation  of  this  character,  they  named  a 


74  AN    M     L. 

price  which  was  $250,000  larger  than  the  snm 
which  woiild  yield  them  a  clear  profit  of  $250,- 
000,  on  the  work.  The  project  was,  at  first, 
violently  opposed,  and  then  the  wisdom  of  their 
allowing  themselves  so  large  a  margin  became 
apparent.  Their  confidential  agent  sought  out 
Blossom  Brick,  who  was  one  of  the  strongest 
opponents  of  the  measure,  when  it  was  first  pro- 
posed, and  in  the  course  of  two  or  three  short 
interviews  on  the  street,  presented  the  case  in 
so  new  and  favorable  a  light  to  that  discerning 
statesman,  that  lie  immediately  moved  the  ap 
pointment  of  a  sub-committee  to  ascertain  and 
report,  "What  would  be  the  probable  increase 
in  the  taxable  value  of  property  in  twenty-five 
years,  by  reason  of  the  proposed  improve- 
ment,'^ of  which  sub-committee  lie  was  ap- 
pointed Chairman.  Their  report  was  so  favor- 
able and  showed  so  clearly  that  in  less  than  a 
hundred  years  the  public  would  be  so  fond  of 
this  bridge  that  they  would  insist  on  having 
another  one  just  like  it,  at  no  matter  what  cost, 
that  the  measure  passed  the  House  by  a  major- 
ity of  two  votes.  It  subsequently  passed  the 
Chamber,  of  which  Michael  Mulhooly  was  a 


AN    M.     L.  75 

member,  by  a  still  closer  vote.  Tlie  firm's  con- 
fidential agent  subsequently  rei)orted  to  his 
employers  that  the  whole  of  the  $250,000  had 
been  distributed  in  ways  that  they  were  not  re- 
quired by  law  to  know  anything  about.  The 
private  memorandum  which  he  afterwards  tore 
up,  showed  a  list  of  initials  set  opposite  various 
sums  ranging  from  $25,000  down  to  $200. 
Upon  it  were  these  letters  and.  figures  : 

"B.  B.   $25,000." 
"M.  M.      7,500." 

Later  in  the  year  the  M.  &  V.  C.  E.  R.  Com- 
pany desired  the  privilege  of  laying  their  tracks 
through  certain  streets,  and  the  transfer  of  a  cer- 
tain unused  tract  of  land  belonging  to  the  city, 
upon  which  they  proposed  to  build  a  freight 
depot.  The  necessary  legislation  was  regarded  by 
the  company  as  of  such  value  that  the  sum  of 
$50,000  was  placed  in  the  hands  of  Sanderson 
Oily,  Esq.,  the  regular  counsel  for  the  company, 
to  be  expended  b}-  him  in  wine,  cigars  and 
matches  for  the  refreshment  of  the  members  of 
the  Committee  on  Streets  and  the  Committee  on 
Railroads  while  listening  to  his  elaborate  argu- 


76  AN    M.     L. 

ment  to  prove  that  the  more  privileges  a  city 
grants  to  railroad  companies  the  richer  the  citi- 
zens become  ;  and  that  the  less  unimiDroved  real 
estate  it  owns  the  less  money  mast  be  raised  by 
taxation  to  pay  for  the  removal  of  the  brick-bats 
and  tomato-cans  that  necessarily''  accumulate  in 
large  quantities  upon  such  unimproved  and 
worse  than  useless  property.  His  arguments 
were  so  unanswerable  that  the  desired  legisla- 
tion was  secured  ;  but,  being  a  lawyer,  he  kept 
no  memoranda  of  the  items  in  which  he  had  ex- 
pended this  large  sum.  Blossom  Brick,  how- 
ever, in  talking  over  the  subject  with  Michael 
Mulhooly,  declared  that  lie  himself  had  paid  out 
less  than  haK  the  sum  put  up  in  his  hands,  and 
yet  had  brought  over  all  the  members  he  had 
agreed  to  fix,  and  had  put  away  $8,000  in  gov- 
ernment bonds  which  "couldn't  squeal."  He 
also  added  that  if  Michael  didn't  know  better 
how  to  measure  the  men  he  undertook  to  make 
solid  he  ought  to  go   to  farming,   and  that  it 

was  nothing  but  his  own  d d  stupidity  he 

had  to  blame  for  having  only  $2,600  left  for  him- 
self. 

Of  course,  as  soon  as  Michael  Mulhooly  had 


AN    M.     L.  77 

fairly  entered  upon  his  dntles  as  a  legislator  he 
commenced  to  speculate  in  stocks  of  all  kinds 
and  especially  in  Street  Passenger  Railway 
Stocks — the  favorite  investment  of  legislators — 
and  made  daily  visits  to  the  office  of  his  brokers. 
When  one  is  a  legislator  one  is  constantly  liable 
to  suspicion  and  frequently  in  danger  of  inves- 
tigating committees.  There  are  people  who  are 
ready  to  swear  that  a  legislator  is  a  bribe-taker 
as  soon  as  he  shows  symptoms  of  the  too-com- 
mon complaint  of  growing  rich  without  work. 
There  are  people  who  can  not  be  made  to  un- 
derstand how  the  business  of  a  bar-room  that 
never  could  be  made  to  pay  $1,500  a  year  can 
be  made  to  yield  an  annualincome  of  $15,000  as 
soon  as  its  proprietor  becomes  a  member  of  the 
Municipal  Legislature  ;  or  how  a  lawyer,  whose 
practice  never  before  would  pay  his  office-rent, 
can,  by  wholly  neglecting  his  office  to  attend 
the  daily  and  nightly  meetings  of  his  Commit- 
tees, live  like  a  prince  and  buy  wine  like  a 
Grand  Duke.  Nevertheless,  such  apparent  mir- 
acles are  of  by  no  means  rare  occurrence. 
Therefore,  when  one  is  thus  liable  to  be  mis- 
judged it  is  a  great  satisfaction  to  be  able  to  refer 


78  AN    M.     L. 

to  that  lucky  rise  in  P.  T.  &  X.,  which  netted 
nearly  $10,000  clear,  and  to  hint  Jit  the  probabil- 
ity of  realizing  inside  of  six  months  a  quarter 
of  a  million  out  of  the  Bully-Boy-Put- Your 
Money-Down-Here  Mine.  Of  course  the  mine 
is  too  faraway,  and  too  deep,  to  be  investigated  ; 
and  no  respectable  broker  will  open  his  books 
and  exhibit  a  customer's  account  to  any  imper- 
tinent newspaper  reporter. 

But,  however  it  happened,  as  the  years  went 
on  Michael  Mulhooly  grew  fat  in  body  and 
pocket.  After  entering  upon  his  second  term 
he  sold  out  the  saloon,  bought  real  estate,  and 
told  the  canvasser  for  the  City  Directory  that 
his  occux)ation  was  "Gentleman."  Under  the 
generous  living  in  which  he  indulged,  and  the 
summer-like  calm  of  the  soul  begot  of  a  still  and 
quiet  conscience,  he  gradually  developed  that 
rotundity  of  person  which  is  almost  invariably 
found  to  accompany  and  indicate  a  genius  for 
statesmanship.  As  he  walked  the  streets, 
splendid  from  head  to  foot  in  shining  broad- 
cloth, white  cravat,  white  overcoat,  white  hat, 
diamond  shirt-studs,  yellow  kid  gloves  and  pat- 
ent-leather boots;    turning   the  scales  at  230; 


AN    M.     L.  79 

slick,  oily,  rotund  and  smiling  ;  bowing  to  the 
right  hand  and  to  the  left  with  something  of  the 
dignity  of  a  duke  and  the  grace  of  a  Brummel ; 
now  stopping  to  press  the  hand  of  a  hard-work- 
ing constituent,  and  impress  him  with  the  honor 
of  a  great  man's  notice;  now  inviting  "the 
boys"  into  a  neighboring  saloon,  and  now  stop- 
ping a  Judge  to  inquire  after  the  health  of  his 
Honor  s  family,  it  was  not  strange  that  he 
seemed,  both  to  his  constituents  and  to  himself, 
as  one  whom  the  people  justly  delighted  to 
honor. 

His  political  influence  also  grew  with  the 
expansion  of  his  fortune,  mind,  and  body.  He 
was  now  high  in  the  rank  of  Leaders,  and  his 
knees  no  longer  shook  when  he  entered  the 
presence  of  the  Boss.  He  had  served  faithfully 
those  who  had  "made"  him,  and  they  found 
no  fault  with  him  for  having  likewise  served 
himself.  He  was  the  undisputed  master  of  his 
own  Ward.  There  was  not  a  Precinct  whose 
active  party-men  he  had  not  provided  with 
places,  and  from  which  he  could  not,  at  any 
time,  command  the  delegate.  This  was  true  of 
even  the  two  Precincts  which  included  within 


8o  AN    M.     L. 

their  boundaries  the  fashionable  avenues  occu- 
pied mainly  by  bank-presidents  and  million- 
aires. It  is  tnie  that  his  acquaintance  with  such 
men  was  not  of  a  strikingly  Intimate  character  ; 
but  such  men  rarely  go  to  delegate  elections, 
and  when  they  do,  their  votes  count  for  so 
little  that  they  are  seldom  counted  at  all. 

Uj)  to  this  time  Michael  Mulhooly's  public 
career  had  been  like  a  cloudless  summer  day. 
He  would  probably  have  been  satisfied  to  remain 
for  some  years  longer  in  this  position  of  honor 
and  usefulness,  had  he  not  seen  rising  just  above 
the  political  horizon  a  cloud  scarcely  larger  than 
a  man's  hand.  But  he  knew  that  it  threatened  a 
storm,  and  from  boyhood  he  had  been  noted  for 
that  rare  foresight  which  taught  him  how  to  seek 
shelter  in  rainy  seasons.  For  some  time  whaf 
was  called  the  "Reform  movement"  had  been 
advocating  the  election  of  what  was  also  called 
*'a  better  class  "  of  men  to  the  Municipal  Legis- 
lature. Not  that  this  movement  in  the  slightest 
degree  affected  the  certainty  of  his  own  re- 
nomination  and  re-election,  for  his  hold  upon 
the  party  was  too  strong  and  the  party  majority 
was  too  great  to  make  it  possible  to  defeat  him 


AN    M.     L.  8r 

in  his  Ward.  But  be  saw  that  this  Keform 
movement,  by  concentrating  all  its  force  upon 
this  one  point,  might  secure  control  of  both 
branches,  elect  both  Presidents,  and  thus  be  en- 
abled to  re-construct  all  the  standing  Commit- 
tees. In  the  event  of  such  a  change  occurring 
he  would  be  removed  from  the  Chairmanship  of 
his  Committee,  to  which  he  owed  his  political 
power  and  his  opportunities  for  usefulness  to 
himself  and  his  friends.  He  therefore  concluded 
that  it  was  time  for  him  to  look  for  promotion. 
He  had  been  a  citizen  for  nearly  ten  years ; 
had  faithfully  served  his  party  during  all  that 
time  ;  had  by  his  own  industry  and  talents 
become  a  gentleman  of  leisure  and  a  tax-payer  ; 
was  worth  at  least  $100,000,  and,  therefore,  he 
felt  that  he  was  entitled  to  enter  a  broader  and 
a  higher  field  of  usefulness,  and  he  determined 
to  be  a  candidate  in  his  District  for  a  seat  in  the 
Congress  of  the  United  States. 


xrv. 


A  GREAT  PUBLIC  DANGER 


HE  Congressional  District  in  which 
Michael  Mulhooly  lived,  was  com- 
loosed  of  five  Wards.  It  had  been 
reiDresented  for  one  term  by  Harold  Hartly  Gil- 
foil,  Esq.,  a  gentleman  of  large  wealth,  who, 
knowing  nothing  of  political  methods,  delegate 
elections  and  District  Conventions,  but  desir- 
ing to  hold  an  official  position  at  AVashington 
for  the  gratification  of  his  two  marriageable 
daughters,  thought  the  simplest  and  surest 
plan  was  to  iDay  $5,000  for  the  honor  to  Tiui 
O'Hoolahan,  Barney  McGhoul  and  Paddy 
0'R.ourke,  a  Committee  who  agreed  to  place  in 
his  hands,  for  that  sum,  the  certificate  of  his 
nomination  by  the  j^arty  Convention.  The 
agreement  was  carried  out  to  the  letter  by  each 
of  the  contracting  parties,  and,  as  the  majority 

[82] 


A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER.         83 

in  the  District  was  nearly  nine  thousand,  he  was 
duly  elected  without  farther  trouble  and  with 
comparatively  little  additional  exi)ense.  He  con- 
tinued to  contribute  liberally  to  all  the  party 
organizations  and  associations  in  his  District, 
but,  when  he  had  done  that,  he  consid^ered  that 
he  had  faithfully  discharged  his  full  duty  to 
his  Constituents-by-purchase,  and  would  not 
enter  a  department  to  ask  for  a  single  appoint- 
ment. Nor  did  he  feel  bound  to  break  the  fash- 
ionable calm  of  his  existence,  by  useless  efforts 
to  make  himself  heard  by  uninterested  and 
inattentive  Members  on  the  floor,  or  by  the 
almost  indiscernable  spectators  in  the  far-dis- 
tant galleries.  He  thus  made  two  fatal  mis- 
takes. The  party-workers  who  make  nomina- 
tions consider  that  the  main  object  and  purpose 
of  sending  a  Representative  to  Congress,  is  to 
secure  through  him  the  apx)ointment  of  the 
greatest  possible  number  of  men  from  his  Dis- 
trict to  positions  in  the  Navy  Yard,  the  Post- 
Office,  the  Treasury,  the  Custom-House  and 
the  various  Departments  at  Washington.  On 
the  other  hand,  business  men  and  people  of 
intelligence,  who  care    nothing  for  and  know 


84  A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER. 

nothing  about  these  appointments,  and  the  im- 
portant part  they  play  in  practical  politics,  be- 
lieve that  a  Congressman  should  have  broad, 
profound  and  decided  views  of  his  own  on  all 
questions  affecting  the  policy  of  the  national 
government  at  home  and  abroad,  and  that  he 
should  be  able  to  impress  those  views  upon  his 
colleagues  and  upon  the  Country.  It  was 
evident,  therefore,  that  however  widely  these 
two  classes  differed  on  this  subject,  they  en- 
tirely agreed  that  Hon.  Harold  Hartly  Gilfoil 
was  a  failure  as  an  M.  C.  and  ought  not  to  be 
re-nominated.  He  was,  nevertheless,  a  candi- 
date, and  hoped  that,  through  the  agency  of 
Tim  0'  Hoolahan,  he  might  be  again  able  to  buy 
a  certificate  for  a  second  term,  as  he  was  accus- 
tomed to  buy  a  pug  dog  for  his  daughter,  or  a 
new  coupe  for  his  wife. 

The  Reform  element  of  the  party,  led  by  men 
of  wealth,  culture  and  character,  had  determined 
to  nominate  and  elect  Mr.  Henry  Armor,  whom 
they  considered  in  every  way  worthy  of  such  a 
position,  and  who,  by  his  eloquent  speeches  and 
scholarly  articles,  published  in  the  magazines  to 
which  he  was  a  contributor,  was  recognized  as 


A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER.        85 

the  leader  of  the  Reform  movement.  Though 
still  a  young  man,  he  had  given  unmistakable 
evidences  of  the  possession  of  talents  of  the 
very  highest  order,  and  had  already  won  a  na- 
tional reputation  as  an  orator.  He  i)ossessed  all 
the  advantages  of  good  birth,  an  admirable  ed- 
ucation improved  by  foreign  travel,  large  means, 
which  enabled  him  to  practice  the  profession  of 
his  choice  without  being  dependent  upon  it  for 
his  livelihood,  an  acquaintance  with  most  of  the 
literary  men  and  i^rominent  statesmen  of  the 
country,  and  a  large  circle  of  intimate  and  ad- 
miring friends,  to  whom  his  modesty,  genial 
manners,  purity  of  heart,  manliness  of  charac- 
ter and  brilliant  intellect  had  greatly  endeared 
him. 

He  was  the  irreconcilable  enemy  of  the  new 
school  of  politics  of  which  Michael  Mulhooly 
was  the  perfect  type.  He  believed  in  the  almost 
obsolete  methods  of  his  fathers,  and  contended 
that  the  people  not  only  had  the  right  to  select 
their  own  servants  for  themselves,  but  also  that 
they  had  the  right  to  do  it  without  the  aid,  in- 
strumentality, agency,  or  dictation  of  any 
Leader,  or  set  of  Leaders.     He  professed  to  be- 


86  A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER. 

lieve  that  tlie  people  themselves  could  select 
more  honest  and  more  capable  public  of&cers 
than  ever  had  been,  or  ever  would  be,  selected 
for  them  by  the  Leaders,  the  Ring,  and  the 
Boss,   however  exceptionally  qualified  for  the 
discharge  of  this  duty  many  of  them  might  be, 
after  a  few  years'  residence  in  this  country,  by 
reason  of  their  foreign  birth.     He  claimed  that 
as  the  stockholders  of  a  Bank  choose  their  Board 
of  Directors,  and  as  the  Directors  in  turn  choose 
a  President  and  a  Cashier,  on  account  of  their 
proved  capacity  and  integrity,  and  not  on  ac- 
count of   their  political  views,    so  the  Mayor, 
Comptroller  and  Treasurer  of  a  great  city  should 
be  selected,  not  because  of  their  services  to  this 
party  or  to  that,  but  because  of   their  special 
qualifications  for  these  offices  and  their  approved 
fidelity  to  the  people  and  to  the  high  trusts  re- 
posed in  them  by   the  people.     He  even  advo- 
cated that  un-American  idea  known  as   Civil 
Service  Reform,  which   teaches  that  the  clerks 
and  letter-carriers  in  the  Post-Office  ought  not 
to  be  turned  out  every  time  a  new  Post-Master 
is  appointed,  and  their  places  filled  by  others 
who,  though  able  to  go  to  Conventions,  know 


A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER.        87 

nothing  of  the  new  duties  required  of  them  ; 
and  that  clerks  in  the  United  States  Treasury 
Department  who  have  been  twenty  years  in  the 
public  service  are  not  necessarily  unfitted  to  re- 
main and  unworthy  of  trust  because  they  do 
not  belong  to  the  same  political  party  which  has 
happened  by  an  8  to  7  vote  to  elect  the  in- 
coming President. 

He  even  went  beyond  these  impracticable 
dreamers  and  taught  seditious  doctrines  of  the 
most  dangerous  character.  AVhile  admitting 
that  in  a  Republic  great  political  parties  are 
necessary  to  promote  great  political  doctrines, 
he  contended  that  the  natural  and  inevitable 
tendency  of  every  party  is,  in  the  course  of 
time,  to  permit  the  entire  control  of  the  party 
to  fall  into  the  hands  of  some  selfish  man,  or  set 
of  men,  and  thus  to  become  corrupt  and  un- 
worthy of  public  confidence  ;  and  that,  just  as 
destructive  thunder-storms  are  necessary  in 
nature  to  purify  the  atmosphere  from  pestilen- 
tial and  deadly  vapors,  so  the  occasional  defeat 
of  the  party  in  j^ower  is  essential  for  its  own 
purification,  and  to  break  off  the  corrupt  hold 
of  party  dictators  and  remand  back  to  the  people 


88  A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER. 

tlie  power  wrested  from  them.  He  contended  that 
this  party  purification  could  not  be  effected  by 
amendment  of  the  party  rules,  or  tinkering  at 
the  party  machinery,  because  the  party  rules 
and  the  party  macliinery  are,  and  always  must 
be,  completely  under  the  control  of  these  party 
dictators.  He  claimed  that  the  hope  of  the 
country  for  the  future  was,  in  the  Independent 
Voter,  who  would  antagonize  his  party  when  he 
found  that  it  was  becoming  corrupt,  and  in  the 
"Scratcher,"  who  would  not  hesitate  at  any 
time  to  erase  from  his  ticket  the  name  of  an  im- 
proper candidate  improperly  placed  upon  it. 
He  often  said,  •'  The  Independent  Voter  and  the 
Scratcher  are  the  country's  safest,  cheapest  and 
best  doctors.  You  must  starve  the  Boss  system 
to  death  to  kill  it."  He  boldly  attacked  those 
party  dictators  whom  he  called  "our  political 
gods  of  Irish  parentage,"  and  he  denounced 
Boss-rule  as  an  insult  to  a  free  people,  a  disgrace 
to  American  civilization,  and  the  shame  of  our 
age  and  country. 

These  dangerous  views — in  which  he  was 
sincere,  however  much  mistaken — he  advocated 
in  eloquent,  scholarly  and  plausible  speeches 


A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER.        89 

which  attracted  universal  attention,  and  made 
not  a  few  converts. 

It  was,  therefore,  manifestly  unsafe  to  permit 
such  a  man  to  attain  any  position  of  influence 
and  i")0wer  in  his  party.  His  success  would  not 
only  greatly  extend  his  opportunities  for 
preaching  and  promulgating  these  seditious 
doctrines,  but  it  would  be  also  at  once  an  insult 
and  a  menace  to  those  who  had  done  so  much 
to  build  up  the  party  and  promote  its  suc- 
cess. 

The  great  Leaders  and  the  Boss  held  a  sol- 
emn council.  They  felt  that  a  grave  public 
danger  was  impending  over  the  party  and  the 
country,  and  They  determined  that  his  nomina- 
tion must  be  prevented  at  any  cost.  Just  at  this 
opportune  moment  Blossom  Brick  suggested 
that  Michael  Mulhooly,  who  had  proved  his 
fidelity  to  Them  and  to  Their  system  in  number- 
less ways,  and  who  would  have  his  own  Ward 
solid  to  start  with,  would  be  the  best  man  They 
could  find  in  the  District  to  support  for  this 
nomination.  The  emergency  was  indeed  a  grave 
one,  and  this  suggestion  at  the  time  proved  to 
be  a  masterpiece  of  statesmanship.     They  saw 


90         A     GREAT    PUBLIC    DANGER. 

at  once  that  They  could  fill  Michael  Malhoolj^'s 
place  with  a  man  ot  equal  lidelity,  and  that  by 
promoting  him  to  Congress  his  influence  would 
be  extended  over  five  Wards,  and  that  They 
would  thus  be  able  to  control  a  large  number  of 
valuable  appointments,  which  had  been  wholly 
lost  to  Them  by  the  utter  incapacity  of  Hon. 
Harold  Hartly  Gil  foil. 

The  Boss,  according  to  his  custom,  spoke 
first  and  spoke  briefly.  He  said,  "I'm  fur  'im  ;" 
and  Blossom  Brick  replied,  "That  settles  the 
business.     We're  solid  for  Mulhooly." 

It  was,  therefore,  immediately  determined 
that  Michael  Mulhooly  should  be  the  next  Con- 
gressman from  that  District,  and  accordingly 
the  decree  went  forth  through  every  Depart- 
ment under  Their  control,  and  to  tlie  remotest 
corners  of  Their  dominions. 


XV. 

THE  CANVASS. 

ICHAEL  MULHOOLY  at  once  set  .to 
work  to  canvass  his  District,  in  a 
manner  wliicli  indicated  that  he 
thoroughly  understood  his  business.  He  did 
not  waste  his  time  hunting  up  ministers  of  the 
gospel,  or  banlv-presidents,  or  tlie  ostensibly 
masculine  leaders  of  fashionable  society.  He 
knew  that  the  people  who  dwell  in  courts  and 
alleys  and  unfashionable  streets,  outnumber 
ten  to  one  those  who  live  in  brown-stone  and 
marble  palaces,  —  and  outvote  them  all  the 
time.  And  he  knew  methods  of  appealing  to 
the  more  numerous  classes,  far  more  effectively 
than  by  speeches,  or  public  meetings,  or  the 
publication  in  the  newspapers  of  cards  signed 
by  "thousands  of  our  business  men  and  best 
citizens."     In  company  with  some  local  Leader 

[91] 


92  THE    CANVASS. 

familiar  with  the  people,  he  visited  every  bar- 
room in  every  Precinct  of  his  District,  having 
previously  notified  the  proprietor  to  inform  as 
many  of  the  workers  as  he  could  reach  that 
the  Honorable  Michael  Mulhooly  would  be  at 
the  saloon  on  such  an  evening,  to  meet  and  con- 
sult with  his  friends.  He  endeavored  to  con- 
vince those  whom  he  thus  met,  that  he  was 
qualified  for  a  seat  in  the  Congress  of  the 
United  States,  by  treating  and  drinking  with 
them  every  five  minutes,  and  by  assuring  them, 
during  the  short  intervals  between  drinks,  of 
his  intention  to  take  care  of  "the  boys,"  and 
by  promising  innumerable  appointments,  from 
$3,000  clerkships  in  the  Treasury  Department 
down  to  the  less  responsible  employment  as 
day  laborer  in  the  Custom-House.  He  well 
knew  that  these  were  arguments  which  j^roved 
his  fitness  for  Congressional  honors  far  more 
conclusively  than  the  most  learned  discussion 
of  national  issues.  He  seldom  left  a  bar-room 
without  the  most  satisfactory  assurances  of  the 
success  of  his  arguments  :•  these  assurances  being 
conveyed  to  him  through  such  expressions  as 
"Three    cheers    for  our   next    Congressman,'* 


THE    CANVASS.  93 

"You  bet  the  boys  are  all  with  you,"  and 
"  "We're  solid  for  Mike  Mulhooly  all  the  time." 

[The  use  of  such  arguments  Henry  Armor 
and  his  friends  did  not  understand.] 

Thus  he  spent  his  nights,  seldom  reaching  his 
bed  until  near  day-break.  But  his  most  scien- 
tific work  was  done  in  the  day-time,  when  with 
the  assistance  of  Blossom  Brick,  the  other 
Leaders  and  the  Boss,  he  endeavored  to  make 
sure  that  those  whom  he  saw  at  night  should 
be  "  solid  for  Mike  Mulhooly  all  the  time,"  by 
preventing  them  from  being  anything  else. 
This  was  done  by  selecting  the  delegates  who 
were  to  run  in  each  Precinct,  and  by  setting 
right  the  officers  who  were  to  conduct  the  prim- 
ary elections.  It  is  in  this  kind  of  work  that 
the  genius  for  leadership  is  displayed  to  the 
greatest  advantage.  To  pick  out  a  man  who 
can  be  relied  on,  and  who  can  carry  his  Pre- 
cinct against  all  opposition  ;  to  select  a  man 
who  can  induce  the  opposition  to  run  him  in  a 
Precinct  which  they  are  certain  to  carry,  and 
who  will  betraj'  them  when  he  enters  the  Con- 
vention ;  to  make  such  arrangements  with  the 
election  officers,  that  a  Precinct  which  cannot 


94  THE    CANVASS. 

be  carried  in  any  way  will  yet  return  friendly 
delegates, — these  are  the  strategic  movements 
which  betray  political  generalship,  and  show 
that  the  master-hand  of  the  great  Leader,  or 
the  greater  Boss,  has  not  been  idle.  These  are 
the  scientific  movements  on  the  political  chess- 
board, by  which  pawns  are  made  knights  and 
bishoxDS  and  queens  before  the  movement  is 
discovered  by  the  adversary,  and  which  decide 
political  battles.  And  that  political  chess- 
pawn  whese  scruples  prevent  him  from  jump- 
ing a  square,  contrary  to  the  laws  of  the  game, 
when  the  Great  Player  indicates  that  He  wishes 
such  an  advantage  of  position,  need  not  hope 
for  reward  or  favor.  His  usefulness  on  the 
political  chess-board  is  ended. 

[Of  this  kind  of  political  chess-playing  Henry 
Armor  and  his  friends  had  no  knowledge.] 

But  the  most  important  part  of  the  contest 
yet  remained  to  be  accomplished.  The  tempo- 
rary chairman  who  would  organize  the  Conven- 
tion had  not  yet  been  elected,  and  to  capture  him 
was  to  hold  the  key  to  the  situation  ;  for,  in  the 
language  of  Blossom  Brick,  '  The  temporary 
chairman  is  the  Convention.     He's  an  8   to  7 


THE    CANVASS.  95 

man  all  the  time."  If  a  candidate  has  failed  to 
electa  majority  of  the  delegates,  but  has  secured 
the  tempoi'ary  chairman,  it  is  his  own  fault,  or 
that  of  the  person  selected  for  that  position,  if 
he  does  not  secure  the  nomination. 

Under  the  Rules,  that  officer  was  elected  by 
the  members  of  the  City  Committee  from  the  five 
AVards  which  constituted  the  Congressional 
District.  It  was,  therefore,  necessary  to  make 
sure  tliat  three  of  these  five  committee-men 
would  vote  for  John  O'Doyle,  an  ex-member  of 
the  Legislature,  with  large  experience  in  organiz- 
ing Conventions,  and  at  present  a  Street  Com- 
missioner, who  had  been  selected  for  this  re- 
sponsible position  by  Michael  Mulhooly.  The 
gentlemen  upon  whom  the  duty  of  making  this 
selection  devolved  were — 

1.  Tim.  O'Hoolahan. 

2.  OwenMcPeak. 

3.  Daniel  McGrody. 

4.  Dominick  McTee. 

5.  James  Sullivan. 

O'Hoolahan  at  this  time  held  a  position  in 
the  Department  of  Sewers,  tut  was  in  the  interest 


96  THE    CANVASS. 

of  Hon.  Harold  Hartly  Gilfoil,  and  it  was 
understood  that  he  was  prepared  to  purchase 
the  temporary  chairman  with  cash  if  it  could 
be  done  within  reasonable  limits.  McPeak  was 
the  member  from  Michael  Mulhooly's  Ward  and 
had  been  recently  appointed  by  him  to  a  clerk- 
ship in  the  Treasurer's  office  and  could  therefore 
be  relied  on.  McGrody  was  an  assistant 
engineer  in  the  Department  of  Fires,  but,  having 
been  discharged  from  a  situation  in  the  Depart- 
ment of  Taxes,  about  a  year  before,  for  acting 
contrary  to  Blossom  Brick's  orders,  it  was 
doubtful  whether  he  could  be  induced  to  vote 
for  any  one  in  whom  Blossom  Brick  was  inter- 
ested. McTee  was  an  appointee  of  the  Boss  in 
the  Department  of  Public  Buildings,  but  it  was 
feared  that  O'  Hoolahan  would  secure  his  vote 
with  money,  even  if  he  had  to  give  up  his 
situation,  which  paid  him  only  a  small  salary. 
Sullivan  had  recently  been  discharged  from  the 
Department  of  Health,  and  was  at  this  time  a 
candidate  for  the  nomination  for  the  Municipal 
Legislature. 

McPeak' s  vote  was,  therefore,  the  only  one 
wMch  could  be  relied  on.     It  was  absolutely 


THE    CANVASS.  97 

necessary  to  secure  two  more  votes,  and,  to 
guard  against  accidents,  an  additional  vote,  if 
possible.  When  a  member  of  the  City  Commit 
tee  finds  that  his  vote  is  indispensable,  he  places 
a  high  value  upon  it  and  takes  advantage  of  the 
situation.  And  now  began  a  series  of  interviews 
and  negotiations  as  delicate  and  as  guardedly 
conducted  on  both  sides,  as  those  diplomatic  in- 
terviews between  the  representatives  of  great 
powers,  upon  which  hang  the  fate  of  empires. 

Sullivan  was  offered,  first,  a  $2,000clerksh:p 
in  the  Department  of  Water,  which  he  refused  ; 
then  an  Inspectorship  in  the  Department  of 
Streets,  with  opportunities  to  make  aliunde 
$5,000  a  year,  which  he  also  refused ;  and,  fin- 
ally, when  nothing  else  would  satisfy  him,  he 
was  assured  of  the  nomination  which  he  desired, 
whereupon  he  agreed  to  vote  for  any  person 
whom  the  Boss  might  name,  and  promised  to  be 
forever  afterwards  His  most  dutiful  servant. 

McTee  was  sent  for  and  told  what  was  ex- 
pected of  him,  whereupon  he  declared  that  he 
couldn't  support  his  family  on  the  small  salary 
he  was  getting,  and  intended  to  resign.  He  was 
told  to  do  so  and  left,  swearing  that  he  was 


98  THE    CANVASS. 

"agin  Mike  Mulliool^^  all  the  time."  A  day 
or  two  later,  however,  he  was  again  sent  for,  nnd 
upon  being  offered  the  $2,000  clerkshi^D  in  the 
Department  of  Water,  which  had  been  refused 
by  Sullivan,  gladly  accepted  it,  and  swore  that 
he  had  been  "  solid  for  Mulhooly  all  the  time." 
Thus  three  votes  were  now  jDromised,  but,  in 
order  that  no  mistake  might  be  made,  a  brother 
of  McGrody  was  given  a  place  in  the  Depart- 
ment of  Parks  as  an  overseer  of  laborers,  and 
thus  a  fourth  vote  was  secured.  The  five  Com- 
mitteemen met  and  elected  Hon.  John  O' Doyle 
temporary  Chairman  to  organize  the  Convention. 

[Of  these  diplomatic  interviews  and  of  this 
strategic  movement  Henry  Armor  and  his  friends 
knew  nothing.] 

To  judge  from  the  talk  one  heard  in  count- 
ing-houses, in  the  private  offices  of  bank-presi- 
dents, at  the  clubs,  and  on  the  church  steps  the 
nomination  of  Henry  Armor  was  inevitable.  It 
was  universally  agreed  by  all  the  good  people 
one  met  in  such  places  that  his  popularity  was  so 
great ;  his  capacity  so  well  known  ;  liis  charac- 
ter so  spotless  ;  and  the  propriety  of  placing 
him  where  his  great  talents  could  be  devoted  to 


THE    CANVASS.  99 

the  good  of  his  country,  so  manifest,  that  the 
mere  suggestion  of  his  candidacy  was  deemed 
equivalent  to  a  j)ositive  assurance  of  his  tri- 
umphant election  over  all  opposition. 

The  primary  elections  were  duly  held,  and 
after  a  careful  canvass  of  the  results,  it  was 
claimed  by  Mr.  Annor's  friends  that  he  had  cer- 
tainly elected  sixty-one  out  of  the  ninety- 
seven  delegates,  or  twelve  more  than  were 
necessary  to  nominate  him,  after  conceding  all 
doubtful  and  contested  Precincts  to  his  two  op- 
ponents. It  had  not  been  expected  that  the 
combined  opposition  would  show  so  much 
strength,  but  the  result  was  in  every  way  most 
satisfactory,  and  his  nomination  on  the  next 
day  but  one  was  considered  a  foregone  con- 
clusion. 


XVI. 

THE  CONVENTION. 

HEN  the  hour  for  the  Convention  to  as- 
assemble  came  it  was  found  that 
Michael  Mulhooly's  friends  had  pos- 
session of  the  Hall,  and  that  the  doorkeepers, 
who  had  been  appointed  by  the  temporary 
chairman,  refused  to  admit  any  delegates  ex- 
cept those  whose  names  appeared  upon  a 
printed  list,  which  had  been  prepared  by  the 
Chairman  of  the  City  Committee.  It  was  found 
that  by  this  manoeuvre  but  forty-two  of  the 
Armor  delegates,  or  seven  less  than  a  ma- 
jority, were  admitted  to  the  room.  Those 
who  were  refused  admission  were  told  that  they 
would  have  to  go  before  the  Committee  on  Con- 
tested Seats,  which  would  be  appointed  imme- 
diately after  the  culling  of  the  Convention  to 
order,  and  establish  to  the  satisfaction  of  the 
Committee  their  right  to  sit  as  delegates. 

[lOOJ 


THE    CONVENTION.  loi 

Promptly  at  11  o'clock  the  temporary 
Chairman  rapped  sharply  on  the  table  and 
declared  that  he  had  been  delegated  by  the 
City  Committee,  in  accordance  with  section  1 
of  Rule  III.  to  organize  the  Convention,  and  he 
thereupon  appointed  as  temporary  secretaries 
John  McNulty  and  Michael  Dugan.  The 
Chairman  then  directed  one  of  the  secretaries 
to  call  the  roll  from  the  printed  list  which  had 
been  prepared  by  the  Chairman  and  secretaries 
of  the  City  Committee.  An  examination  of  this 
printed  list  showed  the  Armor  men  that,  ac- 
cording to  their  reports,  the  names  of  nineteen 
Armor  delegates  had  been  left  off,  and  the  names 
of  nineteen  Mnlhooly  men  placed  on  the  list  in 
place  of  those  omitted. 

Honorable  Ingersol  Aspenwall,  a  venerable 
gentleman  who  had  represented  his  government 
at  two  European  Courts,  rose  and  courteously 
called  the  Chairman's  attention  to  the  fact  that 
there  were  several  mistakes  made  in  the  names 
of  the  delegates  from  his  own  Ward  :  that  in 
the  seventh  Precinct  the  name  of  Patrick  Dugan, 
who  had  received  but  seventy-three  of  the  votes 
cast,  had  been  inadvertentl}''  substituted  for  that 


102  THE    CONVENTION. 

of  Mr.  Howard  Fielding,  for  whom  one  liundred 
and  twenty-two  votes  had  been  polled,  and  to 
w  horn  the  election  officers  had  given  the  certifi- 
cate ;  and  also  that  the  name  of  Mr.  Brantley 
Livingstone,  who  had  been  elected  in  the 
thirteenth  Precinct  without  opposition,  was  not 
to  be  found  on  the  lorinted  list,  but  in  its  place 
he  found  the  name  of  Dennis  Mooley,  who  had 
not  been  mentioned  or  voted  for. 

Here  a  gentleman,  evidently  laboring  under 
great  excitement,  rose,  and  brandishing  his  arms 
in  a  threatening  manner,  said  :  "  Mr.  Prisidint, 
it's  a  dom'd  lie,  and  it's  raisilf  Dennis  Mooly  as 
knows  it,  an'  sez  it,  and' 11  throw  ony  raon  out  of 
the  wundy  that  sez  I'm  not  a  dacently  ilicted 
diligate.  I'm  fur  Mike  Mulhooly,  and  that's 
wat's  the  mather."  The  speaker  continued  to 
brandish  his  arms,  but  his  voice  was  drowned  in 
the  vociferous  cheers  for  Mr.  Mulhooly. 

"Mr.  Chairman,"  continued  Mr.  Aspenwall, 
not  noticing  the  threat  to  throw  him  out  of  the 
"  wundy,"  "I  cannot  suppose  that  these  irregu- 
larities and  mistakes  were  intentionally  made  by 
the  Chairman  of  the  City  Committee,  but " 

The  Chairman :  "  For  the  information  of  the 


THE    CONVENTION.  103 

gentleman  the  secretary  will  read  Section  5  of 
Rule  IV." 

The  secretary  read  as  follows : 

"Section  5,  Tlie  election  officers  of  each  Precinct 
shall,  on  tlie  day  after  the  primary  election,  furnish 
duplicate  returns  of  the  votes  cast  for  delegates  to  the 
Chairman  and  secretaries  of  the  City  Committee  who 
shall  sit  at  the  Committee  Rooms  between  the  hours 
of  12  M.  and  2  P.  m.  on  that  day  for  the  purpose  of 
receiving  such  returns  ;  and  they  shall  from  the  dupli- 
cate returns  so  presented  to  them  make  up  a  list  of  the 
delegates  who  appear  to  have  been  elected  to  each 
'Convention,  and  shall  furnish  a  printed  copy  of  said 
list  to  the  Temporary  Chairman  of  such  Convention 
before  9  o'clock  of  the  day  for  holding  the  Conven- 
tion, which  list  shall  be  the  roll  of  the  Convention  until 
corrected  by  the  adoption  of  the  rejiort  of  the  Commit- 
tee on  Contested  Seats." 

The  CiiAirar  AX  :  "  The  gentleman  will,  there- 
fore, see  that  if  such  mistakes  as  he  alludes  to 
have  been  made,  the  Chair  is  powerless  to  cor- 
rect them,  but  they  must  be  passed  upon  by  the 
Committee  on  Contested  Seats,  which  will  be 
selected  in  the  manner  prescribed  by  the  Rules 
as  soon  as  the  secretary  has  finished  calling  the 
roll." 

Mr.  Aspenwall:  "But  the  Chair  must  see 


I04  THE    CONVENTION. 

tliat  the  gentlemen  wlio  have  been  regularly 
elected — nineteen  of  them,  I  am  informed— have 
not  only  been  excluded  from  the  Hall,  but  they 
have  not  even  been  notified  of  this  action,  or 
that  there  is  any  dispute  about  their  right  to 
their  seats  ;  and,  therefore,  they  came  here  with- 
out having  given  the  notice  required  by  the 
Rules  to  entitle  them  to  apjpear  as  contestants, 
and  without  having  prepared  the  requisite  peti- 
tion to  entitle  them  to  be  heard  by  the  Commit- 
tee. But  what  is  still  worse  is  that  nineteen 
other  gentlemen,  some  of  whom  were  not  even 
voted  for  by  the  people,  have  been  x')laced  on  the 
roll  as  delegates — have  been  admitted  to  the 
Hall — are  allowed  to  participate  in  drawing  the 
Committee  on  Contested  Seats,  and,  as  no  notice 
has  been  served  that  their  seats  are  contested, 
may  even  sit  on  that  Committee  and  refuse  to 
hear  those  whose  seats  they  have  wrongfully 
taken.     The  manifest  unfairness,  injustice  and 

irregularity  of  such  a  proceeding  must " 

The  Chairma:n^  :  "  The  gentleman  is  out  of 
order.  The  Chair  does  not  make  the  Rules.  Ita 
only  duty  is  to  interpret  and  enforce  them,  and 
that  it  proposes  to  do  fairly  and  honestly." 


THE    CONVENTION.  105 

Mr.  Aspenwall  :  "I  move  the  appointment 
of  a  Committee " 

The  Cjiaieman  :  "  The  gentleman  is  again 
out  of  order.  Under  the  order  of  business  laid 
down  in  Section  2  of  Rule  V.,  no  motion,  except 
to  take  a  recess,  is  in  order  until  the  report  of 
the  Committee  on  Contested  Seats  has  been  made 
to  the  Convention.  The  Chair  will  be  compelled 
to  refuse  to  recognize  any  gentleman  until  the 
calling  of  the  roll  is  finished.  The  secretary 
will  proceed  with  the  call  of  the  roll." 

When  the  secretary  had  finished,  several 
gentleman  rose  and  attempted  to  call  attention 
to  the  omission  of  the  names  of  regularly- 
elected  delegates  and  the  substitution  of  others, 
and  great  confusion  and  excitement  followed. 
For  fully  fifteen  minutes  the  Chairman  continued 
to  pound  on  the  table  with  a  hammer  which  he 
used  for  a  gavel,  and  to  try  to  get  the  delegates 
to  take  their  seats.  For  some  time  it  looked  as 
though  a  detachment  of  x>olice  would  have  to 
be  sent  for  to  clear  the  Hall.  Finallj^  in  a  tem- 
porary lull,  the  Chairman  succeeded  in  an- 
nouncing that  the  first  business  in  order  was  the 
selection  of  the  Committee  on  Contested  Seats, 


io6  THE    CONVENTION. 

and  directed  the  secretary  to  read  section  3  of 
Rule  v.,  which  was  in  these  words : 

"Saction  3.  Immediately  after  the  calling  of  the 
roll  has  been  concluded,  a  committee  of  seven  dele- 
gates, to  whom  shall  be  referred,  without  debate,  all 
questions  relative  to  contested  seats  in  the  convention, 
shall  be  drawn  in  tlie  following  manner  : 

The  secretaries  shall  write  upon  separate  slips  of 
paper  of  equal  size  the  names  of  all  delegates  whose 
seats  are  uncontested  (and  no  delegate's  seat  shall  be 
considered  as  contested  unless  the  notice  provided  for 
in  section  8  of  Rule  4  shall  have  been  given)  and  when 
the  slips  shall  have  been  thus  prepared,  they  shall  be 
banded  to  the  temporary  Chairman  and  be  by  him  ex- 
amined and  counted,  and  if  he  sliall  find  them  to  be 
correct  he  shall  then  place  them  in  a  hat  or  box  and 
see  that  they  are  thorougldy  shaken  and  mixed  to- 
gether. One  secretary  shall  then  draw  a  slip  from  the 
hat  or  box  and  hand  it  to  the  temporary  Chairman, 
who  shall  announce  the  name  appearing  thereon  to  the 
Convention,  which  name  shall  be  forthwith  recorded 
by  the  other  secretary.  Any  delegate  may  then  pe- 
remptorily challenge  the  right  of  the  person  so  drawn 
to  serve  upon  said  committee,  whereupon  the  name  so 
challenged  shall  bo  marked  "  Challenged."  Another 
slip  shall  be  then  drawn,  and  the  name  thereon  an- 
nounced and  recorded,  and  so  on,  until  but  seven  slips 
remain  in  the  hat,  when  the  seven  slips  so  remaining 
sliall  be  handed  to  the  temporary  Chairman,  whc  ahall 


THE    CONVENTION.  107 

annomicG  the  n.imcs  which  appear  thereon  as  the  mem- 
bers of  the  Committee  on  Contested  Seats,  and  no 
cliallenge  shall  be  allowed  to  any  of  the  said  seven 
names  so  drawn." 

This  nile  had  been  recently  adopted  because 
the  old  rule,  which  allowed  the  teraponuy 
Chairman  to  appoint  tliis  Committee,  was  found 
to  invariably  result  in  the  selection  of  a  Com- 
mittee wholly  in  the  interest  of  the  candidate 
favored  by  the  temporary  Chairman,  and  in  the 
unseating  of  a  sufficient  number  of  delep^ates  by 
the  Committee,  to  secure  a  majority  in  favor  of 
the  fortunate  candidate.  In  theory,  the  new 
rule  was  admitted  to  be  perfectly  fair,  as  it  left 
the  selection  of  the  Committee  almost  entirely 
to  chance.  But  persons  were  not  wanting  who 
contended  that  its  practical  operation  was  no 
better  than  that  of  the  old  rule,  which  made  the 
temporary  Chairman  "an  8  to  7  man  all  the 
time."  They  alleged  that  this  rule  was  only 
used  as  a  screen,  behind  whicli  to  perpetrate  the 
old-fashioned  frauds,  and  that  the  Chairman  and 
Secretaries  invariably  managed  to  draw  a  major- 
ity of  the  Committee  favorable  to  their  candi- 
date. Thev  contended  that  it  was  the  easiest 
thing  ill  the  world  to  do  so  by  giving  the  seven 


io8  THE    CONVENTION. 

slips  previously  agreed  upon  some  slight  pecu- 
liarity of  size,  shape  or  color  ;  or  by  mis-calling 
the  names  ;  or  by  secreting  these  slips  under  the 
liat-band,  or  in  the  sleeve — tricks  which  could 
be  easily  performed  without  discovery,  by  one 
not  possessing  the  skill  of  a  sleight-of-hand 
performer.  Of  course,  these  complaints  were 
always  made  by  defeated  and  disappointed  cau' 
didate«3. 

The  drawing  then  proceeded  according  to  the 
rule,  and  resulted  in  the  selection  of  the  follow- 
ing persons,  viz. : 


Fred.  M.  Finnel, 

an  Armor  delegate. 

James  Smith, 

((                 U                         (.i 

Edward  Whitley, 

a  Gilfoil 

James  Kelly, 

''  Mulhooly    " 

Patrick  Donohue, 

U              ((                    u 

John  McGinnis 

U                 U                         (( 

Terrence  McGlue, 

u           a                u 

The  Committee,  therefore,  stood  four  for 
Mulhooly,  two  for  Aruior,  and  one  for  Gilfoil. 
The  Armor  and  Gilfoil  delegates  had  never  be- 
fore been  in  a  Convention,  and  knew  nothing  of 
their  duties  aa  members  of  such  a  Committee, 


THE    CONVENTION.  109 

while  the  Mulhooly  men  were  experts.  All 
four  held  positions  in  Departments  controlled 
by  the  Boss,  and  could  be  relied  upon  not  to 
lose  a  trick. 

The  Committee  immediately  retired,  and 
after  selecting  James  Kelly  as  Chairman,  an- 
nounced that  they  would  hear  all  persons 
claiming  seats  in  the  Convention,  including 
those  who  had  not  given  notice  or  i^reiDared 
petitions  according  to  the  Rules.  This  spirit 
of  fair-dealing  was  highly  commended.  They 
were  in  session  for  nearly  two  hours,  and  finally 
reported  in  favor  of  the  sitting  delegates  and 
consequently  against  the  nineteen  Armor  dele- 
gates, who  had  been  prevented  from  entering 
the  Hall.  The  Armor  members  made  a  minor- 
ity report,  but  the  Convention  adopted  the 
report  of  the  majority  by  a  vote  of  fifty-one  to 
forty-six,  and  by  the  same  vote  elected  Hon. 
Samuel  Snort,  President,  and  made  the  tempo- 
rary  secretaries  officers  of  the  Convention. 

The  Convention  being  thus  organized,  the 
President  announced  that  nominations  were 
now  in  order,   and  called  for  the  pledges  re- 


110  THE    CONVENTION. 

quired  of  candidates  by  section  9  of  Rule  Y., 
whicli  waJj  in  these  words  : 

"  Section  9.  No  candidate  shall  be  placed  in  nom- 
ination or  voted  for  in  any  Convention,  until  he  shall 
have  signed  and  filed  with  the  Chairman  the  follow- 
ing written  pledge,  which  shall  be  in  all  cases  read  to 
the  Convention  : 

"I  pledge  my  honor  that  I  will  abide  by  the  decis- 
ion of  this  Convention,  and  support  its  nominee  or 
nominees  ;  and  that  I  will  not  under  any  circum- 
stances run  as  an  independent  candidate,  or  permit 
my    name   to  be  used   as  a  candidate  for  the   office 

of ,  by  any   other  party,  association,  meeting,  or 

committee." 

The  pledges  of  Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly  and 
Hon.  Harold  Hartly  Gilfoil  were  then  handed 
up  and  read,  but  no  response  was  made  to  the 
call  for  Mr.  Armor' s  jDledge. 

Hon.  Emanuel  Fairweatlier  then  nominated 
Hon.  Michael  Mulhooly,  and  paid  a  glowing 
tribute  to  his  personal  worth,  his  party  service, 
and  his  spotless  record  in  the  Municipal  Legis- 
lature. Hon.  Harold  Hartly  Gilfoil  was  also 
nominated,  but  the  name  of  Henry  Armor  was 
not  mentioned.  A  ballot  was  immediately 
taken,  which  resulted  as  follows  : 


THE    CONVENTION.  iii 

Mulhooly,  51. 
Gilfoil,         4. 

The  Armor  delegates  did  not  vote.  The  Pres- 
ident then  declared  that  the  Honorable  Michael 
Mulhooly  had  received  fifty-one  votes,  and  as  this 
was  a  majority  of  all  the  delegates  i^resent and  a 
majority  of  forty-seven  of  all  the  votes  cast,  he 
was  duly  nominated  as  the  candidate  of  the  party 
for  Congress  from  that  District.  A  committee 
was  thereuj)on  appointed  to  wait  ii]Don  the  can- 
didate and  announce  to  him  the  action  of  the 
Convention.  They  found  him  in  Tim  O'Leary's 
saloon  across  the  street,  and  when,  five  minutes 
later,  they  entered  the  Hall,  Terrence  McGlue 
leading  him  by  one  arm  and  Patrick  Donohue 
by  the  other,  the  enthusiasm  of  the  Convention 
knew  no  bounds.  Delegates  stood  upon  chairs 
and  benches,  waving  their  hats  and  cheering  for 
"Mike  Mulhooly"  for  fully  fifteen  minutes, 
while  the  Armor  delegates  sat  in  sullen  silence 
and  the  successful  candidate  stood  bowing  and 
smiling  at  the  front  of  the  platform  and  endeav- 
oring to  obtain  a  hearing.     Finallj^,  when  the 


112  THE    CONVENTION. 

excitement  had  in  a  measure  subsided,  lie  spoke 
as  follows  : 

"I'm  proud  of  the  unexpected  honor  you've 
done  me,  and  I  thank  yez  all  for  it.  As  it  was 
unsolicited  on  ray  part,  I  feel  that  the  honor 
you've  done  me  in  nominating  me  for  Congress 
is  one  any  man  might  be  proud  of.  And  I'm 
not  ashamed  to  say  I  am  j)roud  of  it.  [Cheers.] 
I'm  not  a  p)ublic  speaker,  but  I'm  one  of  the 
bye's  and  I'm  for  the  bye's  all  the  time.  [Cheer 
after  cheer  greeted  this  utterance.]  And,  I 
mane,  if  ilicited,  to  take  care  of  the  bye's. 
[This  brave  and  manly  declaration  of  principles 
provoked  still  greater  enthusiasm.]  I  point  to 
my  past  record  for  the  truth  of  what  I  say.  And 
so,  thanking  you  once  more,  I'll  be  glad  to  see 
ye  all  across  the  way,  at  TimO'Leary's  saloon.'' 

Having  reached  his  climax,  like  a  true  orator 
he  bowed  and  retired.  When  he  reached  the 
floor  he  was  surrounded  by  his  devoted  follow- 
ers, who  were  anxious  to  shake  hands  with  their 
next  Congressman,  wlio  was  not  ashamed  to  say 
he  was  one  of  the  "bye's"  and  "for  the  bye's 
all  the  time."  They  followed  him  across  the 
way  to  Tim  O'Leary's,  where  case  after  case  of 


THE    CONVENTION.  113 

wine  was  opened,  and  the  rejoicings  over  their 
great  victory  lasted  all  through  the  day,  and 
late  into  the  night. 

Thus  Michael  Mulhooly  was  nominated  in 
strict  accordance  with  the  Rules  of  his  party. 
According  to  all  its  traditions  he  had  won  his 
nomination  fairly,  was  entitled  to  the  support 
of  every  true  party-man,  and  to  have  voted 
against  him  would  have  been  a  political  sin  to 
be  atoned  for  only  by  years  of  repentance. 

Nevertheless,  the  same  afternoon  the  sixty- 
one  Armor  delegates  who  claimed  to  have  been 
elected,  met,  organized  and  adopted  a  resolution 
denouncing  the  proceedings  of  the  regular  Con- 
vention held  in  the  morning,  and  declaring  that 
Henry  Armor,  Esq.,  was  the  regular  nominee  of 
the  party  in  the  District  for  Congress. 
8 


XVII. 

THE  VOICE  OP  THE  PRESS. 

HOSE  newspapers  which  the  Reformers 
claimed  belonged  to,  or  were  con- 
trolled by,  the  Ring,  indorsed  the 
nomiualion  of  Michael  Mulhooly  in  the  most 
earnest  manner.  They  spoke  of  him  as  the 
regular  nominee  of  the  party,  and  referred  to 
the  Armor  delegates  as  "kickers"  and 
"bolters,"  and  dismissed  their  Convention  and 
their  nomination  as  unworthy  of  consideration. 

The  Aegus-Eyed  said : 

"  Micliael  Mulhooly,  the  regular  nominee  of  the 
party,  is  a  man  of  the  people,  who,  by  industry  and 
perseverance  lias  risen  from  an  humble  station  to  a 
position  which  any  man  in  this  great  city  raiglit  feel 
proud  to  hold.  His  career  in  tlie  Municipal  Legislature 
gives  assurance  that  he  will  not  misrepresent  his  Dis- 
I114J 


THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS.       115 

trict  in  the  National  Legislature  and  we  predict  his 
election  by  a  raagniiicent  majority." 

The  Dawn  of  Day  said  : 

"  It  is  seldom  that  a  party  Convention  so  well  ex- 
presses the  party's  will.  TI)e  people  of  this  District 
desired  the  nomination  of  Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly  be- 
cause they  had  tried  him  and  found  him  in  every  way 
worthy  of  their  confidence.  They  felt  that  his  abili- 
ties and  public  services  merited  this  recognition,  and 
that  his  experience  in  public  affairs  peculiarly  qualified 
him  for  the  higher  and  broader  field  of  national  poli- 
tics. We  say  :  Gentlemen  of  the  Convention,  well 
done  !" 

The  Boss's  Own  said  : 

"No  man  in  this  District  is  better  qualified  for  a 
seat  in  Congress  than  Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly.  He  was 
our  choice  first,  last,  and  all  the  time,  and  the  action 
of  the  Convention  is,  therefore,  gratifying  to  us." 

The  Voice  of  the  People  said : 

"That  Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly  is  worthy  of  this  new 
honor,  no  one  who  knows  him  will  doubt  or  question. 
T])at  he  will  be  elected  by  a  majority  which  will  be  a 
credit  to  himself  and  to  his  District,  we  feel  sure. 
The  i)eop[e  of  this  country  are  at  last  commencing  to 
nnderstand  the  difference  between  practical  statesman- 
ship that  brings  forth    fruit   and   the   barren  political 


ii6       THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS. 

Miss-Nancyism,  of  which  Mr.  Henry  Armor,  who  re- 
ceived the  empty  honor  of  a  so-called  nomination  by  a 
few  '  kickers,'  is  a  fitting  representative." 

The  Public  Watch-Dog,  after  paying  a 
Mgli  tribute  to  the  distinguished  talents  of  the 
regular  nominee,  said  : 

"  The  action  of  the  score  or  two  of  kickers  who, 
after  participating  in  the  proceedings  of  the  Conven- 
tion and  finding  themselves  hopelessly  in  the  minority, 
proceeded  to  hold  a  Convention  and  nominate  a  can- 
didate of  their  own,  would  be  unworthy  of  notice 
were  it  not  that  such  action  is  always  a  dangerous 
precedent,  which  should  not  go  unrebuked.  No  man 
has  a  right  to  ask  to  be  sent  as  a  delegate  to  a  Con- 
vention who  is  not  Avilling  to  be  governed  by  the  party 
rules,  and  to  abide  by  the  decision  of  the  majority. 
No  man  is  fit  to  be  a  candidate  who  will  encourage 
such  dishonorable  conduct  on  the  part  of  his  delegates. 
Fidelity  to  the  party  is  a  duty  which  every  good  citi- 
zen owes  to  his  party  for  the  sake  of  its  principles,  and 
in  order  to  assure  its  success  ;  and  that  duty  is  not  dis- 
charged by  fidelity  only  when  the  action  of  the  party 
is  in  accordance  with  our  individual  wishes  or  prefer- 
ences. If  the  minority  is  to  be  encouraged  to  bolt  as 
soon  as  it  discovers  that  it  is  the  minority  party,  or- 
ganization is  at  an  end,  and  party  success  a  matter  of 
chance.  \ye  trust  that  a  rule  will  be  adopted  com- 
pelling every  delegate,  before  he  receives  his  credentials, 


THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS.       117 

to  remain  in  tlio  Convention  and  abide  by  the  decision 
of  the  majority,  whatever  that  decision  may  be." 

Such  was  tlie  public  sentiment  as  reflected 
in  all  the  journals  of  the  city,  except  one. 

The  TiiuTii-TELLER,  a  journal  which  catered 
to  the  tastes  of  those  peo^Dle  who  sympathized 
with  the  Reform  movement,  after  compliment- 
ing the  seceding  delegates  on  the  manliness 
and  independence  of  character  which  they  had 
disi)layed,  and  indorsing  their  nominee  as  one 
pre-eminently  worthy  of  public  trust,  and  pre- 
eminently qualified  to  represent  his  District, 
said  : 

.  .  .  "But  who,  on  the  other  hand,  is  the 
Ring  candidate  for  a  seat  in  the  Congress  of  the 
United  States  of  America,  and  what  his  ante- 
cedents? No  honest  man  can  answer  that 
question  truthfully  without  a  blush  of  shame. 
But  it  is  a  question  which  must  be  asked  and 
must  be  answered  without  mincing  words. 

"A  bog-trotter  by  birth  ;  a  waif  washed  up 
on  our  shores  ;  a  scullion-boy  in  a  gin-mill  fre- 
quented by  thieves  and  shoulder-hitters  ;  after- 
wards a  bar-tender  in  and  subsequently  the  pro- 
prietor of  this  low  groggery  ;  a  repeater  before 
he  was  of  age  ;  a  rounder,  bruiser  and  shoulder- 


ii8       THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS. 

hitter  ;  then  made  an  American  citizen  by  fraud 
after  a  residence  of  but  two  years  ;  a  leader 
of  a  gang  of  repeaters  before  the  ink  on  his 
fraudulent  naturalization  papers  was  dry  ;  then 

a 's ;  then  a  corrupt  and  perjured 

ele'^tion  officer ;  then  for  years  a  corrupt  and 
perjured  member  of  the  Municipal  Legislature, 
always  to  be  hired  or  bought  by  the  highest 
bidder,  and  always  an  uneducated,  vulgar, 
flashily-dressed,  obscene  creature  of  the  Ring 
which  made  him  what  he  is,  and  of  which  he  is 
a  worthy  representative  ;  such,  in  brief,  is  the 
man  who  has  been  forced  upon  the  party,  by 
the  most  shameless  frauds,  as  its  candidate  for 
the  American  Congress.  This  is  filthy  lan- 
guage, but  it  is  the  only  way  in  which  to  de- 
scribe the  filthy  subject  to  which  it  refers, 
and  every  man  who  reads  it  must  admit  that  it 
is  only  the  simple  truth. 

"  Is  it  possible  that  the  American  people  are 
compelled  to  scour  the  gutter,  the  gin-mill  and 
the  brothel  for  a  candidate  for  Congress  \  Is  it 
possible  that  the  Ring  wliich  has  already  plun- 
dered the  city  for  so  many  years,  and  which 
has  so  long  abused  our  patience  with  its  arbi- 
trary nominations  of  the  most  unworthy  x^eople, 
for  the  most  honorable  and  responsible  offices, 
will  be  permitted  to  crown  its  infamies  by 
,  sending  to  Congress  this  creature,  who  repre- 


THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS.       119 

sents    notliing    decent,  and  nothing  fit  to  be 
named  to  decent  ears  ? 

"  There  is  one  point  of  view,  however,  in  which 
this  nomination,  monstrous  as  it  is,  may  prove 
to  be  a  public  blessing.  It  will  rouse  the  people 
to  throw  off  the  yoke  of  this  Ring  of  Confeder- 
ated Tliieves  under  which  they  have  patiently 
staggered  and  groaned  for  years.  It  will  show 
them  that,  monstrous  as  Ring-rule  is,  as  a 
scheme  of  plunder,  it  is  more  monstrous  as  a 
despotism  which  makes  a  free  people  its  slaves, 
and  laughs  at  the  shame  and  stripes  itx^utsupon 
them.  It  will  show  them  that  the  notorious 
Blossom  Brick  told  the  simple  truth  when  he 
said  '  party  rules  are  the  reins  and  party  spirit 
the  bit  by  which  We  drive  the  people.'  It  will 
provoke  the  American  people  to  rise  in  their 
majesty  and  saj^  to  each  one  of  these  Bosses — 
the  worst  of  whom  are  always  uneducated,  un- 
scrupulous and  characterless  foreigners — We 
invited  you  here  to  lind  a  refuge,  not  to  build 
an  empire  ;  We  welcomed  you  as  strangers,  not 
as  rulers ;  We  adopted  you  as  citizens  and  in 
return  you  have  made  us  slaves,  and  have  fat- 
tened upon  us  for  years,  and  have  kicked  us 
when  we  dared  to  ask  for  but  an  equal  share 
with  yourselves  in  the  control  of  this,  our  own 
government ;  but  the  end  has  come.  Go ! 
Choose    between    the    obscurity    from    which 


I20       THE     VOICE    OF     THE    PRESS. 

you  came  and  the  prisons  which  your  Crimea 
have  prepared  for  you.  Choose,  but  choose 
quickly !" 

This  article  produced  a  profound  impression 
upon  the  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss,  if  it 
did  not  upon  the  people.  It  meant  business  and 
threatened  danger. 


XYUl. 

TROUBLE. 

T  noon  that  day  a  conference  of  the 
Leaders  and  the  Boss  was  held  at 
y  His  private  office.  They  looked  at 
each  other  significantly  and  each  waited  for  the 
other  to  speak.  Finally,  some  one  hurled  a 
verbal  thunderbolt  at  the  editor  of  the  libelous 
sheet.  Then  another  and  another  followed  in 
quick  succession.  Their  wrath  was  like  that 
mighty  wrath  that  raged  upon  Olympus  when 
the  Giants  dared  to  assail  it  and  disturb  its  se- 
renity with  their  clamor. 

Then  Blossom  Brick  uttered  those  memo- 
rable words : — 

"If  the  people  ever  tumble  to  our  game 
— hell  will  be  to  pay  !" 

His  practical  mind  did  not  waste  itself  in 
impotent  wrath.     He  looked  forward    to    the 

[121] 


122  TROUBLE. 

possible  resalta  w'iiicli  this  publication  might 
bring  about.  He  saw  in  it  more  than  an  insult : 
it  was  a  menace.  It  meant  rebellion.  The 
Xieople,  the  "blind  asses"  as  he  was  wont  to 
call  them,  are  never  dangerous  so  long  as  they 
are  deceived,  but  he  knew  how  great  the  danger 
is  from  the  moment  when  they  begin  to  kick. 
His  suggestion  commanded  instant  attention. 
The  sense  of  insult  was  forgotten  in  the  sense 
of  danger  which  settled  down  upon  them  like 
an  invisible  cloud.  They  began  to  realize  that 
their  power  was  in  danger — that  their  rule  was 
threatened — that  their  gigantic  schemes  for  the 
public  good  might  come  to  naught  if  such 
jjublic  utterances  were  allowed  to  be  repeated 
with  impunity.  They  said,  "  If  this  licentious- 
ness of  the  press  is  not  speedily  rebuked  and 
curbed,  which  one  of  us  will  be  safe  %  " 

Then  they  sent  for  their  candidate  Michael 
Mulhooly,  whose  ambition  had  brought  all  this 
trouble  upon  them.  He  came,  as  slick,  oily, 
rotund  and  smiling  as  ever.  He  had  read  the 
Argus-Eyeu,  the  Dawn  of  Day,  the  Boss's 
Own,  the  Voice  of  tue  People,  and  the  Public 
Watch-Dog,  but  he  had  not  read  the  Tuuth- 


TROUBLE.  123 

TELLER.  It  was  sliown  to  him.  He  took  it  up 
wi  til  a  smile,  which  gradually  faded  from  his  face. 
He  hiid  the  i)aper  down  and  was  evidently  not 
pleased  with  what  he  had  read.  He  looked  first 
at  one,  then  at  another,  and  finally  at  his 
watch,   and  said,    "If  I  can  find  the   


I'll  put  a  head  on  him  !"  He  made  the  too 
common  mistake  of  supposing  that  when  one  has 
been  charged  with  crime  by  a  newspaper  the 
best  way  to  disprove  the  charge  is  to  "put  a 
head  on'"  the  editor. 

Then  they  sent  for  their  favorite  lawyer, 
Theoptolimus  Sly,  Esq.,  a  small  man  with  a  big 
voice,  who  was  as  certain  to  make  a  noise  in  the 
world  as  though  he  had  been  a  dinner-gong. 
He  came  promptly,  in  obedience  to  orders,  as  he 
always  did,  and  comforted  them  with  the  assur- 
ance that  the  article  was  undoubtedly  a  libel, 
and  that  the  editor  could  be  arrested  for  it. 

Then  the  Boss  Himself  sent  a  messenger  for 
Judge  Coke,  whom  he  had  "made,"  and  who 
wanted  to  be  re-" made"  shortly.  He,  too, 
came  in  obedience  to  orders,  as  he,  too,  always 


124  TROUBLE. 

did.  He  was  closeted  with  the  Boss  for  an 
hour,  and  after  lie  had  gone  the  Boss  said, 
"  I've  fixed  it."  This  was  another  decree  of  Fate. 

That  afternoon  Mr.  Carson  Cleaver,  the 
editor-in-chief  of  the  Truth-teller.,  was  ar- 
rested on  the  charge  of  libel,  and  held  to  bail 
in  the  sum  of  $2,000.  A  bill  of  indictment  was 
immediately  sent  before  the  Grand  Jury  and 
returned  "a  true  bill,"  and  Theoptolimus  Sly, 
Esq.,  announced  that  the  defendant  would  be 
tried  the  next  day  and  "railroaded," — a  tech- 
nical term  of  the  Sessions  which  signifies  a 
modern  mode  of  administering  justice  so  ex- 
peditiously that  one  accused  is  arrested,  tried, 
convicted,  sentenced  and  put  at  a  felon's  work- 
bench before  he  has  time  to  sneeze,  or  to  say, 
' '  God  bless  me,  where  am  I  ? " 

Judge  Coke,  however,  was  not  on  the  bench 
the  next  morning — his  term  was  not  to  com- 
mence until  the  following  Monday — and  the 
defendant,  Mr.  Carson  Cleaver,  was  notified  that 
his  case  would  not  be  called  for  trial  that  day, 
but  would  be  tried,  God  willing,  on  the  follow- 
ing Monday.  Thus  the  impending  sword  of 
Justice  was  temporarily  stayed. 


XIX. 

JUSTICE. 

N  Monday  Mr.  Carson  Cleaver  ajv 
peared  in  court  with  liis  counsel. 
Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly  also  appeared 
with  his  counsel.  In  addition  to  Mr.  Theoptol- 
imus  Sly,  who  was  always  as  willing  to  be 
heard  as  a  dinner-gong,  there  had  been  retained 
to  assist  the  District  Attorney,  who  was  general- 
ly seized  with  a  nervous  attack  at  the  sight  of  a 
newspaper,  two  distinguished  criminal  lawyers, 
Mr.  Gandy  Grip  and  Mr.  Bowles  Bowser. 

Gandy  Grip  was  a  leader  in  his  profession. 
He  had  come  to  the  bar  with  meager  educational 
and  social  advantages,  but  possessing  what 
I)roved  to  be  of  much  greater  value  to  him — a 
I)rofound  knowledge  of  the  criminal  classes  and 
their  habits,  derived  from  his  early  associations, 
and  an  exceptional  caj)acity  for  attracting  clients, 

[125] 


126  JUSTICE. 

wliich  insured  his  success.  This  rare  business 
tac  fc  was  at  once  displayed  by  his  giving  a  sup- 
per to  all  the  court  officers  and  deputy-sheriffs 
of  his  acquaintance,  which  resulted  in  estab- 
lishing so  good  an  understanding  between  them 
that  they  recommended  him  to  all  criminals  who 
came  under  their  charge,  and  he  divided  with 
them  all  the  fees  which  he  was  thus  enabled  to 
earn.  The  worldly  ^visdom  of  this  arrangement 
was  speedily  demonstrated  by  the  fact  that  when 
older  lawyers  than  himself  were  still  wrestling 
hopelessly  with  the  problem  of  how  to  pay  office 
rent  out  of  office  receipts,  he  was  enjoying  a  lu- 
crative j)ractice,and  carrying  on  his  person  and  in 
his  iDockets  dirmonds  enough  to  have  stocked  a 
jewelry  store,  received  by  him  from  clients  with 
more  diamonds  than  cash.  In  a  short  time  his 
reputation  became  so  firmly  established  that  no 
thief  or  burglar  in  the  city  would  go  to  work 
with  anj''  degree  of  confidence  without  first  as- 
certaining that  Gandy  Grip  was  in  town,  and 
that  his  services  could  be  sesured  at  a  moment's 
notice.  He  could  demolish  a  witness  by  a  single 
question,  and  his  i:)owers  of  vituperation  were 
so  transcendent  that  the  critical  audiences  who 


JUSTICE,  127 

frequented  the  Sessions  placed  liim  in  the  front 
rank  of  living  orators.  He  confined  himself 
so  exclnsively  to  criminal  or  quasi- criminal 
practice,  that  he  would  not  have  entered  a 
common  pleas  or  an  equity  court  without  send- 
ing up  a  letter  of  introduction  to  the  presiding 
judge.  He  knew  better  than  any  detective  on 
the  force  how  to  recover  stolen  bonds,  and  in 
doubtful  divorce  cases  he  was  regarded  as  the 
highest  living  authority.  But  he  was  pre-emi- 
nently great  in  securing  verdicts.  When  he 
was  engaged  in  the  trial  of  a  case  there  was  not 
a  sj)orting  man  in  town  who  would  not  give 
long  odds  that  if  he  did  not  get  a  verdict  he 
would  at  least  secure  a  disagreement  of  the 
jury. 

Bowles  Bowser,  his  colleague,  was  also  a 
criminal  lawyer  of  note.  Having  no  taste  for 
office  practice  he  found  that  he  could  more  ad- 
vantageously employ  his  office  hours  in  the 
neighboring  bar-rooms  studying  human  nature 
than  in  poring  over  abstruse  and  contradictory 
law  books.  While  he  was,  therefore,  somewhat 
weak  on  law,  he  was  correspondingly  strong  in 
disorderly-house  cases.     Had  there  been  a  defect 


128  JUSTICE. 

in  the  pleadings  large  enough  to  have  driven  a 
circus  band  wagon  through  it  with  ease,  he 
would  probably  not  have  found  it  in  a  life-time 
with  the  aid  of  a  microscope  ;  but  his  skill  in 
"fixing"  juries  was  so  perfect  that  older  law- 
yers frequently  retained  him  as  a  silent  colleague 
on  account  of  this  exceptional  talent. 

It  was  evident,  therefore,  that  the  prosecutor 
meant  business. 

As  soon  as  Judge  Coke  had  settled  himself 
comfortably  in  his  seat,  and  the  clerk  had  satisfied 
himself  as  to  the  condition  of  his  voice  by  calling 
over  the  list  of  jurors,  the  counsel  for  the  prose- 
cutor advanced  to  the  bar  of  the  court — Mr.  Sly 
in  advance,  and  as  eager  as  a  dinner-gong  to 
make  himself  heard  ;  Mr.  Bowser,  following, 
and  nodding  encouragingly  to  a  juror  of  his 
acquaintance  ;  and  Mr.  Grip  bringing  up  the 
rear  and  unlimbering  his  heaviest  guns  for  the 
engagement ;  and  one  after  another  reminded  the 
court — although  it  was  the  first  day  of  Judge 
Coke's  term — that  the  case  of  The  People  against 
Carson  Cleaver  had  been  fixed  for  trial,  and  that 
they  desired  that  the  defendant  might  be  at 
once  arraigned  and  required  to  plead,  so  that 


JUSTICE.  139 

the  case  could  proceed  to  trial  without  delay. 
The  court  having  been  satisfied  by  the  assur- 
ances of  three  such  eminent  counsel,  and  by  an 
encouraging  but  nervous  nod  from   the  District 
Attorney,  that  Mr.  Carson  Cleaver  ought  to  be 
called  upon  to  answer  what  wrong  he  had  done 
the  people,  instructed  the  clerk  to  interrogate 
him  upon  this  subject.     This  duty  the  clerk 
proceeded  to  discharge  with  his  most  tremen- 
dous frown  and  in  the  very  lowest  notes  of  his 
register,  believing   that  no   criminal,    how^ever 
hardened,   could    endure    this    terrible    ordeal 
without  confessing  his  guilt,   and    he  looked 
both  shocked  and  disappointed  when  Mr.  Car- 
son Cleaver,  in  a  tone  of  cool  indifference,  re- 
plied,    "Not  guilty,"    without    even   looking 
towards  him. 

Before  the  clerk  had  entirely  recovered  his 
breath  and  his  countenance,  the  counsel  for  the 
defendant  rose  and  said  that  his  client  was  unpre- 
pared for  trial,  although  anxious  for  it ;  that  he 
proposed  to  sustain  his  plea  of  "  Not  guilty," 
by  proving  that  the  prosecutor  himself  was 
guilty  of  all  the  crimes  with  which  he  had  been 
charged  in  the  alleged  libelous  publication,  and 

0 


;i30  JUSTICE. 

that,  as  lie  would  be  compelled  to  summon  a 
very  large  number  of  witnesses  in  order  to  es- 
tablish every  charge  he  had  made,  he  would 
require  a  week  for  this  j^reparation,  and  would 
willingly  appear  on  the  next  Monday  and  make 
good  his  charges,  or  take  the  consequences. 

This  application,  as  well  as  the  implied  as- 
sault upon  the  integrity  of  their  client,  so 
incensed  the  prosecutor's  counsel  that  they 
endeavored  to  address  the  court  in  chorus,  and 
to  demonstrate  that  the  application  was  nothing 
less  than  the  most  monstrous  attempt  to  trifle 
with  Justice  that  had  ever  been  witnessed  by 
each  of  them  individually,  and  by  all  of  them 
collectively,  in  a  court  of  Justice.  Finally, 
when  these  gentlemen  had  ridden  down  the 
defendant  and  the  defendant's  counsel,  and 
trampled  over  each  other  in  their  precipitate 
charge  upon  the  court,  to  prevent  it  from  per- 
mitting Justice  to  be  trifled  with  in  its  presence, 
Judge  Coke  looked  encouragingly  at  the 
District  Attorney,  who,  finding  that  some  effort 
was  also  expected  of  him  to  defeat  this  contem- 
plated attempt  to  trifle  with  Justice,  suggested 
that,  as  the  defendant  had  been  notified  on  the 


JUSTICE.  131 

preceding  Wednesday  that  his  case  would  be 
tried  on  this  daj^  and  had,  therefore,  had  five 
days  in  which  to  prepare,  and  had  made  no 
attempt  whatever  to  prepare,  it  did,  indeed, 
look  lilie  an  attempt  to  trifle  with  Justice. 

Judge  Coke,  who  by  this  time  seemed  to 
have  some  suspicion  that  there  was  really  an 
intention  on  the  part  of  some  one  to  trifle  with 
Justice,  and  in  his  own  presence,  remarked, 
angrily,  that  as  no  "legal"  ground  had  been 
laid  for  a  continuance,  he  thought  the  counsel 
for  the  prosecution  were  right,  and  that  the 
application  looked  very  much  like  an  attempt  to 
trifle  with  Justice.  AYarming  up  with  his  sub- 
ject, he  continued,  that  "when  an  editor  pub- 
lishes so  gross  a  libel  on  a  citizen,  and  esjjecially 
on  one  so  favorably  known  to  the  community 
and  to  the  court,  he  ought  to  be  prepared  to 
prove  the  truth  of  his  foul  charges  on  the  spot, 
or  to  take  the  consequences.  He  was  certainly 
entitled  to  no  favors  from  the  court."  Where- 
upon, throwing  back  his  head  angrily  against 
the  back  of  his  chair,  he  ordered  the  trial  to 
proceed. 

The  counsel  for  the  defendant  made  another 


13?  JUSTICE. 

attempt  to  procure  delay,  but  was  promptly 
rebuked  by  the  court  for  his  repeated  attempts 
to  trifle  with  Justice,  and  was  ordered  to  "go 
on,"  whereupon  he  sat  down. 

The  clerk,  having  pulled  himself  together 
after  his  first  discomfiture,  looked  at  the  defend- 
ant with  an  expression  which  indicated  that  he 
meant  to  be  even  with  him  and  to  break  his 
stubborn  spirit  before  he  was  through  with  him, 
and  proceeded  to  call  a  Jury.  As  each  juror  ap- 
proached the  box  the  counsel  for  the  prosecution 
put  their  heads  together  and  looked  at  a  paper 
and  then  at  the  juror,  and  if  they  did  not  ap- 
parently hnd  the  juror  to  their  liking,  one  of 
them  whispered  to  the  District  Attorney,  who 
nervously  requested  the  juror  to  "  stand  aside  ;'* 
this  being  a  i)rivilege  which  the  law  still  gives 
that  officer  in  cases  in  which  he  is  determined 
to  convict,  and  prefers  what  Blossom  Brick  called 
a  "  solid  jury." 

In  this  manner  the  calling  of  the  jury  pro- 
ceeded until  the  following  twelve  men  wore 
chosen,  viz.: 

1,  Patrick  McGlaughlin. 

2.  James  McShane. 


JUSTICE.  Ill 

3.  John  McTighe. 

4.  James  McRody. 

6.  Timothy  McMunn. 

6.  John  McGuiggan. 

7.  Dennis  McSliiel. 

8.  Michael  McFinn. 

9.  John  McGittigen. 

10.  Larry  McQuade. 

11.  James  McAtee. 

12.  James  McNamara. 

The  challenges  on  both  sides  having  been 
exhausted,  nothing  remained  to  do  but  to  swear 
the  jury,  whereupon  the  clerk,  casting  another 
glance  at  the  defendant  as  though  to  assure  him 
that  hs  would  yet  regret  his  hardness  of  heart, 
in  the  most  solemn  and  impressive  manner 
administered  the  oath  to  "well  and  truly  try 
the  issue  joined  between  the  People  and  Carson 
Cleaver,  the  defendant,  and  a  true  verdict  to 
give,  according  to  the  evidence,  So  help  you 
God !" 

Then  Bowles  Bowser  winked  significantly  to 
Gandy  Grip,  and  Blossom  Brick  whispered  to 
the  Boss,  "Solid  all  the  time  !"  Theoptolimus 
Sly  subsequently  told  the  District  Attorney  that 


134  JUSTICE. 

he  need  not  be  afraid  that  the  defendant  had 
*'got  any  work  in  on  them,"  as  five  of  the  jury- 
were  in  public  employment,  and  the  other  seven 
were,  as  he  was  assured  by  Mr.  Grip  and  Mr. 
Bowser,  "all  right." 

The  District  Attorney  then  rose,  and  in  a 
somewhat  embarrassed  and  nervous  manner, 
stated  the  nature  of  the  crime  which  the  defend- 
ant was  charged  with  having  committed 
against  the  peojple,  and  sat  down,  evidently 
greatly  relieved.  To  prove  the  publication,  two 
witnesses  were  called,  who  testified  that  they 
knew  the  defendant  to  be  the  editor  of  the 
Tkuth-teller,  and  that  they  had  bought 
copies  of  the  issue  which  contained  the  libel- 
ous article,  which  they  had  also  read,  and  un- 
derstood to  refer  to  the  prosecutor. 

Then  Mr,  Michael  Mulhooly  was  called^  and, 
leaving  his  seat,  he  stepped  into  the  witness- 
box,  drew  off  his  yellow  kid  gloves,  smiled  at 
the  judge,  bowed  encouragingly  to  the  jury, 
and  solemnly  swore  to  tell  the  truth,  the  whole 
truth,  and  nothing  but  the  truth,  so  help  7iim 
God !  He  took  up  the  copy  of  the  paper  by 
one  corner  as  though  it  would  soil  his  hands  if 


JUSTICE.  I3S 

he  took  a  fair  hold  of  it,  and  declared  that  he 
had  read  the  libelous  article,  and,  so  far  as  it 
related  to  himself,  there  was  not  one  single 
word  of  truth  in  it  from  beginning  to  end,  but 
that  it  was  an  infamous  lie,  as  everybody  who 
knew  hira  could  not  help  but  know. 

lie  then  turned  with  a  deliant  air  toward 
the  counsel  for  the  defendant,  who,  to  the  as- 
tonishment of  everybody,  declined  to  ask  any 
questions.  It  had  been  expected  that  he  would 
attem^Dt  to  riddle  the  prosecutor  by  a  rapid  fire 
of  questions,  as  damaging  as  a  discharge  of 
grape  and  canister,  in  reference  to  where  he 
came  from  and  how  he  knew  it ;  how  old  he 
was  and  who  told  him  so  ;  what  he  did  for  a 
living  and  how  he  managed  to  do  it ;  what 
crimes  lie  liad  been  guilty  of  and  how  he  had 
got  out  of  prison,  and  similar  questions,  such  as 
prosecutors  are  accustomed  to  look  for  from 
those  gentleman,  who  are  specially  sworn  to 
see  to  it  that  no  attempt  to  trifle  with  Justice 
shall  ever  succeed^  where  they  can  prevent  such 
a  misfortune  from  nappening  to  her. 

When  the  prosecutor's  counsel  announced 
that  they  had  closed  their  case,  the  counsel  for 


136  JUSTICE. 

the  defendant  rose  and  said  that  he  had  hun- 
dreds of  witnesses  to  call,  but  that  they  were 
not  in  the  court-room,  because  the  prosecutor 
was  so  anxious  to  have  his  character  vindi- 
cated, that  he  insisted  upon  a  trial  when  he 
knew  they  were  all  absent.  He  added,  that  he 
wonld  ask  the  jury  to  say,  that  no  editor  should 
ever  be  called  upon  to  answer  the  charge  of 
libel,  for  a  publication  concerning  the  official 
conduct  of  a  public  officer,  or  the  character  of  a 
candidate  for  a  high  and  honorable  office,  until 
he  has  been  given  a  decent  opportunity  to  be 
heard  by  his  witnesses ;— that  no  man  who 
claims  to  be  libeled,  and  is  unwilling  to  give 
his  adversary  a  week  in  which  to  prove  the 
truth  of  what  lias  been  published,  is  entitled  to 
the  sort  of  vindication  which  a  verdict,  under 
such  circumstances,  would  give  him.  He  there- 
fore asked  the  jury  to  show  their  condemnation 
of  this  premature  and  indecent  prosecution,  by 
promptly  acquitting  the  defendant.  And  then, 
without  another  word,  he  sat  down. 

This  extraordinary  language  evidently  pro- 
duced no  effect  upon  the  jurors;  but  the 
countenances  of  the  court,  of  the  counsel  foi 


JUSTICE.  137 

the  prosecution  and  of  the  prosecutor  himself, 
showed  that  they  now  realized  that  they  were 
indeed  witnesses  of  an  nnmistalvable  attempt  to 
trifle  with  Justice.  Judge  Coke  looked  as 
though  he  felt  called  upon  to  rebuke  it  immedi- 
ately and  in  the  most  decided  naanner.  Mr. 
Gaudy  Grip,  however,  came  to  the  rescue  of  the 
court  and  of  that  blind  goddess  whom  he  so  pro- 
foundly worshiped,  and  to  whom  he  so  fre- 
quently and  so  eloquently  appealed,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  resent  the  insult  which  had  been 
offered  to  her  in  his  presence  in  a  speech  which 
was  beyond  doubt  the  greatest  effort  of  his  life. 
For  two  hours  he  poured  forth  a  torrent  of  vitu- 
peration against  the  counsel  for  the  defendant, 
the  licentiousness  of  the  press,  and  the  unmanly 
and  cowardly  libeler  who  sat  unmoved  before 
him,  which  i^rovoked  repeated  outbursts  of 
aiDi:)lause  from  the  crowd  which  filled  every  part 
of  the  court-room.  Then,  with  the  consummate 
art  of  the  great  orator,  he  turned  to  the  innocent 
subject  of  this  heartless  libeler' s  calumny,  and 
portrayed  his  early  struggles  with  adversity  ; 
his  slow  but  gradual  steps  towards  a  higher 
sphere  than  that  in  which  he  was  born ;   his 


138  JUSTICE. 

great  public  services ;  his  many  virtues  ;  his 
high  and  honorable  ambition,  and  his  gradual 
ascent  up  the  ladder  of  Fame,  "Until,"  said  he, 
*'like  Excelsior,  he  lies  on  the  mountain  top, 
'midst  the  snow  and  ice  of  public  scorn,  frozen  to 
death  h^  this  vile  defamer'  s  calumnious  breath." 
This  beautiful  and  pathetic  figure  of  speech 
touched  the  hearts  of  his  jury,  and  two  or  three 
commenced  to  use  their  pocket-handkerchiefs 
and  the  backs  of  their  hands  freely  ;  while 
Michael  Mulhooly  Avas  not  ashamed  to  be  seen 
wiping  a  tear  from  his  manly  eye.  Then, 
having  reached  his  hearers'  hearts,  in  tones  of 
withering  scorn  he  dwelt  upon  the  conduct  of 
the  defense  in  standing  over  the  prostrate  form 
of  their  victim  and  reiterating  the  false  and 
wicked  charges  which  they  could  not  call  a 
single  living  witness  to  substantiate. 

When  he  closed  no  one  present  supjwsed 
that  the  defendant's  counsel  would  attempt  to 
reply. 

But  he  rose  and  spoke  substantially  as 
follows : 

"I  i)resume  I  need  not  call  witnesses  into 
the  box  to  prove  what  every  man  on  tJie  jury 


JUSTICE.  139 

knows.  I  need  not  call  witnesses  to  tell  you 
that  this  prosecution  has  been  brought  by 
a  ring  of  confederated  thieves,  who  have  ruled 
and  plundered  this  city  for  years,  for  the  pur- 
pose  " 

Here  Judge  Coke  interrupted  him  and  said 
sharply,  "Counsel  must  confine  their  remarks 
to  the  evidence  in  the  case  and  not  refer  to  public 
rumor." 

"What  stronger  evidence,"  continued  the 
lawyer,  "  what  stronger  evidence  is  there  in 
this  very  case  that  these  rumors  are  true  and 
that  what  I  say  about  the  i^urjoose  of  this  prose- 
cution is  true,  than  that  furnished  by  the  inde- 
cent manner  in  which  it  has  been  forced  to 
trial,  and  by  the  presence  in  this  court- room  of 
the  very  Chiefs  of  that  King,  who  are  the  real 
prosecutors,  seeking  protection  for  themselves, 
and  not  vindication  for  this  prosecutor?" 

"I  will  not  peiTnit  this  line  of  argument," 
angrily  interrupted  the  Judge. 

"I  am  sorry  that  it  displeases  the  court," 
replied  the  lawyer,  "but  I  am  compelled  to  dis- 
charge my  duty  to  this  defendant,  irrespective 
of  judicial  pleasure  or  displeasure." 


I40  JUSTICE. 

"Repeat  it  if  you  dare,"  said  the  Judge, 
"and  ril  forthwith  commit  you  for  con- 
tempt." 

The  lawyer  bowed  and  continued,  "It  is  not 
my  duty  to  direct  the  court  what  it  shall,  or 
what  it  shall  not  do.  But  it  is  my  duty  to  say  to 
this  jury  all  that  in  my  conscience  I  believe  ought 
to  be  said  on  behalf  of  my  client  about  this  case 
and  its  surroundings  ;  and  that  I  shall  continue 
to  say,  respectfully,  but  fearlessly,  whatever 
may  be  the  consequences.  I  will,  however, 
remind  this  honorable  court  that  fair-play  is  a 
part  of  the  unwritten  law  of  this  land,  and  that 
no  prosecutor  can  hurry  a  defendant  to  trial 
without  his  witnesses,  and  then  ask  that  his 
motives  shall  not  be  commented  upon  by 
counsel,  or  considered  by  the  jury  as  a  part, 
and  a  most  material  part,  of  the  case.  And  I 
will  also  remind  this  honorable  court  that  the 
prosecutor  and  the  defendant  are  not  the  only 
persons  interested  in  this  trial.  Back  of  the 
prosecutor  sit  his  friends,  whom  I  arraign  as  the 
real  prosecutors  ;  and  back  of  this  defendant 
stands  this  great  community,  who  v/ill  not 
permit  wrong  to  be  done  in  the  name  of  Justice, 


JUSTICE.  I4X 

and  to  whom,  not  only  this  jury,  but  also  your 
Honor,  must  answer  for  the  manner  in  which 
Justice  is  administered  this  day  in  this  her 
sacred  temple." 

The  Judge  looked  at  him  sternly  for  a 
moment,  then  resumed  his  pen,  and  the  lawyer 
continued  : 

"I  put  it  to  the  conscience  of  each  man  on 
this  jury  whether  I  have  uttered  one  word  but 
the  simple  truth.  There  is  not  a  man  in  that 
box  who  does  not  know  the  political  condition 
of  this  city  and  the  manner  in  which  it  has  been 
ruled  and  robbed  for  years  by  a  band  of  political 
bandits,  to  which  this  prosecutor  belongs,  and 
which  has  the  eifrontery  to  come  here  and 
endeavor  to  force  the  conviction  of  an  editor,  in 
the  absence  of  his  witnesses,  because  he  dared 
to  attack  them. 

"  I  do  not  intend  to  discuss  either  this  article, 
or  the  testimony  of  the  prosecutor.  Until  you 
have  been  permitted  to  hear  the  defendant's 
witnesses  you  cannot  determine  whether  he 
published  a  libel,  or  the  truth.  If  he  published 
a  tissue  of  lies  he  deserves  the  severest  penalty 
of  the  law.     If  he  published  the  truth  he  de- 


r42  JUSTICE. 

serves  and  will  receive  the  thanks  of  the  whole 
community.  But  you  dare  not  convict  liim — 
you  have  no  right  to  try  him — when  he  stands 
here  and  says,  '  Give  me  but  one  week  and  I  will 
prove  that  every  word  I  published  about  this 
man  was  the  truth.'  Would  an  innocent  and 
wronged  prosecutor,  conscious  of  his  innocence, 
and  of  his  ability  to  establish  it,  in  the  face  of 
such  a  challenge,  insist  upon  a  trial  ?  Would 
he  not  rather  say,  '  I,  too,  am  on  trial.  Take  a 
week — take  a  month,  if  you  need  it, — and  then 
I  will  meet  you  and  prove  that  you  have  wronged 
me  !'  But  when  a  prosecutor,  who  is  a  public 
officer  and  a  candidate  for  a  still  higher  office, 
runs  into  a  coart  of  Justice,  hot,  breathless, 
and  trembling,  and  says,  'For  God's  sake  con- 
vict this  man  before  he  can  get  the  witnesses 
here  to  prove  that  I  am  a  thief  !'  he  ought  to  be 
lashed  out  of  the  court-room  wdth  whips  made 
of  the  scorn  and  indignation  of  all  honest  jurors. 
Yet  you  are  asked,  in  just  such  a  case,  to  render 
a  verdict  of  guilty  against  this  defendant.  I 
pity  the  man  who  lends  himself  to-day  to  such 
an  act  of  injustice,  and  who  must  meet  to- 
morrow, face  to  face,   an  outraged  community, 


JUSTICE.  143 

and  answer  for  the  manner  in  wliicli  he  has  kept 
liis  oath  and  discharged  this  great  public  duty." 

Then  Judge  Coke  charged  the  jury  substan 
tially  as  follows  : 

He  said  that  the  case  was  a  perfectly  simple 
one,  and  the  duty  of  the  jury  so  plain,  that 
they  could  not  go  astray.  If  they  believed  the 
testimony  for  the  prosecution — and  he  did  not 
see  how  they  could  disbelieve  it  without  violat- 
ing their  oaths — the  defendant  was  guilty  of 
publishing  the  wickedest  libel  he  had  ever  read. 
No  attempt  was  made  to  deny  the  publication, 
but  the  defendant,  through  his  counsel,  re- 
iterated the  vile  charges  in  open  court.  Having 
had  five  days  in  which  to  prepare  for  his  trial, 
he  came  into  court  without  a  single  witness, 
and  asked  to  be  acquitted,  not  because  his  guilt 
had  not  been  proved,  but  because  the  court  had 
refused  to  grant  any  longer  delay.  It  was 
seldom  that  a  lawyer  so  far  forgot  his  duty  to 
himself  and  to  the  court,  as  to  make  such  a 
shameful  and  cowardly  assault  upon  a  prose- 
cutor as  that  to  which  they  had  been  compelled 
to  listen.  It  was  more  than  an  outrage  ;  it  was 
an  insult  to  the  jury  and  to  the  court.    He  felt 


144  JUSTICE. 

called  upon  to  say  thus  much  to  the  jury  on 
the  subject,  and  he  would  afterwards  consider 
what  further  notice  the  court  ought  to  take  of 
what  was  nothing  less  than  a  gross  contempt. 
He  then  handed  the  bill  of  indictment  to  the 
jury,  instructing  them  to  do  their  duty  like 
men  and  not  be  intimidated  by  threats  of  public 
oiiinion. 

The  foreman  took  the  bill  from  the  clerk, 
looked  at  the  rest  of  the  jurymen,  who  nodded 
affirmatively,  and  then  reported  a  verdict  of 
"  Guilty,"  which  was  recorded. 

Judge  Coke  immediately  ordered  the  de- 
fendant to  stand  up  for  sentence,  whereupon 
his    counsel    rose  and  began  —  "I    desire    to 


move- 


"  Sit  down,  sir !  "  said  Judge  Coke.  "  You 
have  grossly  insulted  the  court  and  misbehaved 
as  an  attorney.  I  did  not  compel  you  to  take 
your  seat  at  the  time,  because  you  were  ad- 
dressing the  jury  on  behalf  of  a  defendant  who 
was  upon  trial.  But  I  will  not  permit  you  to 
address  the  court  again  in  this  case.  If  the  de- 
fendant himself  has  anything  further  to  add,  I 
will  hear  him." 


JUSTICE.  145 

Wliile  the  defendant  and  his  counsel  were 
conferring,  the  Boss  sent  to  Mr.  Theoptolimus 
Sly  a  slip  of  joaper,  on  which  he  had  written  : 

"  We'll  spoil  all.  Tell  Judge  to  allow  motion  for 
new  trial  and  delay.     Will  explain." 

Mr.  Sly  read  it  and  handed  it  to  Mr.  Grip, 
who  also  read  it,  and  passed  it  up  to  the  Judge. 
He  too  read  it  and  said,  "  If  the  purpose  of  the 
defendant's  counsel  was  only  to  make  the  ordi- 
nary motion  for  a  new  trial  I  will  allow  it  to  be 
made  in  writing,  and  liled  with  the  clerk.  In 
the  meantime  the  defendant  will  renew  his  bail. 
Crier,  adjourn  the  court!"  Whereupon  the 
crier  declared  that  the  court  stood  adjourned, 
and  the  Judge  came  down  and  shook  hands 
with  Michael  Mulhooly,  Blossom  Brick,  and  the 
Boss. 

Thus  Justice  was  done  and  Michael  Mul- 
hooly was  vindicated.  The  verdict  of  a  jury  of 
his  countrymen  had  declared  that  his  character 
was  as  white  and  spotless  as  the  ceiling  of  the 
temple  of  Justice  itself,  which  had  just  been 
newly  calcirained. 


XX. 

A  JUDGE  CHALLENGED. 

HE  next  morning  in  the  Truth-teller 
appeared  the  following  double-leaded 
leader : 

JUDGES,  HALT !  !  ! 

"Almost  any  evil  in  a  Republic  can  be 
endured  with  some  degree  of  patience 
except  that  of  a  corrupt  or  slavish  Ju- 
diciary. When  Judges,  forgetful  of  their 
manhood  and  their  oaths,  lend  themselves 
to  oppression  and  become  the  pliant 
tools  of  tyrants,  they  may  be  very  sure 
that  the  people  will  not  be  slow  to  redress 
such  intolerable  wrongs,  and  that  they 
■will,  if  forced  to  the  extremity,  enter  the 
temple  of  Justice  and  tear  down  the  dis- 
honored and  forsworn  priests  who  have 
desecrated  the  sacred  altars  and  trample 
them  under  foot  in  the  mire  of  the  streets. 
Salus  populi  siqyrema  est  lex. 
[146] 


A    JUDGE    CHALLENGED.  147 

"This  solemn  warning  is  especially 
addressed  to  Judge  Coke. 

"  It  is  within  the  personal  knowledge 
of  the  editor  and  of  two  of  his  friends 
that,  immediately  before  the  warrant  for 
his  arrest  was  issued,  the  head  of  the 
Ring  sent  a  message  for  Judge  Coke, 
who  immediately  went  to  the  Boss's  pri- 
vate office,  where  he  remained  closeted 
with  him  for  nearly  one  hour.  Did  he 
go  there  in  obedience  to  orders,  to  receive 
orders  that  the  editor  must  be  convicted 
at  all  hazards  ?  What  actually  passed  at 
that  interview  can  be  known  only  to 
Judge  Coke  himself  and  to  one  other 
person.  But  immediately  after  the  ter- 
mination of  that  interview  a  warrant  for 
libel  was  issued  against  the  editor,  and 
he  was  bound  over,  a  bill  at  once  sent 
before  the  Grand  Jury,  and  the  intima- 
tion given  out  of  the  intention  on  the 
part  of  prosecutors  to  "railroad"  him. 
For  some  reason,  not  difficult  to  under- 
stand when  it  is  known  that  Judge  Coke 
was  not  then  upon  the  bench,  and  that 
his  term  would  not  begin  until  the  next 
Monday,  the  case  against  the  defendant 
was  postponed  until  the  very  day  upon 
which  Judge  Coke's  term  began,  and  he 
was  then  immediately  forced  to  trial,  not- 
withstanding his  demand  for  one  week's 


148  A    JUDGE    CHALLENGED. 

time  in  whicli  to  procure  liis  witnesses, 
and  his  solemn  avowal  tbat  he  would  in 
exactly  one  week  from  that  day  appear 
and  prove  the  truth  of  every  word  he  had 
published,  and  show  that,  so  far  from  be- 
ing guilty  of  publishing  a  libel,  he  had 
discharged  a  sacred  duty  to  the  public 
by  exposing  the  utter  unfitness  of  Michael 
Mulhooly  to  represent  the  District  from 
which  he  is  a  candidate,  in  the  Congress 
of  the  United  States.  We  do  not  now 
allude  to  Judge  Coke's  rulings  upon  the 
trial,  because  a  motion  for  a  new  trial  is 
pending,  and  this  is  not  the  proper  place 
for  its  discussion. 

"  But  if  Judge  Coke's  prompt  obe- 
dience to  the  message  from  the  Boss — to 
whom  he  owes  his  seat,  and  to  whom  he 
must  look  for  a  re-nomination — in  connec- 
tion with  what  followed  his  visit  forces 
people  to  believe  that  Judge  Coke  is  the 
mere  creature  of  the  Ring  and  executes  its 
orders,  under  the  pretense  of  administer- 
ing Justice,  Judge  Coke  has  no  one  but 
himself  to  blame  ;  and,  being  thus  sus- 
pected, he  would  show  greater  wisdom 
than  he  has  hitherto  displaj^ed,  if  he 
would  at  once  abandon  the  judgment-seat 
before  the  people  drive  him  from  it. 

"  It  is,  unfortunately,  a  matter  of  com- 
mon belief  that  Judge  Coke  is  not  the 


J 


A    JUDGE    CHALLENGED.  149 

only  Judge  upon  the  Bench  to-day  whom 
the  Ring  feels  safe  in  approaching  in 
secret,  and  instructing  in  advance  about 
cases  to  be  tried  in  which  its  creatures 
are  parties.  A  Judge  who  would  take  a 
bribe  is  not  more  despicable  than  one 
who  is  willing  to  be  thus  approached  and 
directed  how  to  administer,  not  justice, 
but  injustice. 

"  To  all  such  Judges  wo  now  call, 
Halt  !  The  people  will  no  longer  tolerate 
such  infamous  practices. 

"If  Judge  Coke  thinks  we  have  done 
him  any  injustice  we  challenge  him  to 
call  us  fortliwith  to  account  for  this 
pointed  and  solemn  warning,  deliberately 
given." 

No  notice  was  ever  taken  of  this  challenge, 
because  its  author  had  been  convicted  according 
to  law  as  a  common  libeler  of  mankind. 


XXI. 

ONE  WAY  TO  RUN  A  CAMPAIGN 

R.  HEXRY  ARMOR  entered  upon  his 
camimign  in  a  manner  whicli  indicated 
W^^  clearly  that  he  did  not  understand 
his  business.  He  did  not  visit  bar-rooms,  or 
drink  with  and  treat  the  party-workers,  or  liunt 
up  and  consult  with  the  election- officers,  or 
endeavor  to  conciliate  the  "boys"  by  promis- 
ing them  appointments.  Nor  did  he  call  upon 
the  Heads  of  Departments  and  seek  to  induce 
them  to  issue  orders  to  their  subordinates 
relative  to  the  amount  and  kind  of  work  which 
they  were  required  to  do  in  their  respective 
Precincts.  He  probably  would  have  said  that 
a  man  who  would  resort  to  such  methods  to 
secure  his  election  to  any  office  was  unfit  for  the 
office  and  unworthy  of  public  trust.  It  is  doubt- 
ful whether  he  could  have  told  the  name  of  a 

fl50] 


ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A    CAMPAIGN.  151 

single  member  of  the  City  Committee,  or  of  a 
President  of  a  Ward  Committee  in  his  District. 
As  lie  had  been  nominated  by  sixty-one  oat  of 
the  ninty-seven  delegates,  who,  according  to  his 
belief,  should  have  composed  the  regular  Conven- 
tion, and  also  by  the  Reform  Association ;  and 
as  he  had  subsequently  been  indorsed  by  every 
minister  of  the  gospel  and  bank  president  in  his 
District,  and  by  "Thousands  of  Our  Businesss 
men.  Tax-payers  and  Most  Respectable,  Intel- 
ligent, Wealthy,  Prominent  and  Influential  Citi- 
zens," as  he  was  informed  by  the  large  posters 
which  met  his  eye  at  every  corner,  he  con- 
sidered ills  election  almost  a  political  certainty. 
His  friends,  believing  that  his  eloquence 
could  not  fail  to  convince  the  voters  of  his  fit- 
ness for  Congress,  organized  a  series  of  meetings 
to  be  held  in  each  Ward,  and  made  arrange- 
ments for  a  grand  ratification  meeting  to  be  held 
at  the  Academy  of  Music  on  the  Saturday  night 
immediately  preceding  the  election.  At  each 
of  these  meetings  Mr.  Armor  spoke  in  his 
usual  scholarly,  elegant  and  eloquent  manner. 
His  friends  all  declared  that  his  speeches  were 
unquestionably  the  ablest  that  had  ever  been 


152  ONE  WAY   TO   RUN  A    CAMPAIGN. 

made  in  tlie  city.  The  Truth-teller  devoted  a 
full  page  each  morning  to  these  meetings,  and 
published  verbatim  reports  of  his  speeches. 
The  other  newspapers,  however,  regarding  such 
matters  as  uninteresting  to  their  readers,  dis- 
posed of  them  in  something  after  this  fashion  : 

"  The  kickers  and  bolters  held  a  meeting  last  night 

at Hall,  whicli  was  addressed  by  Henry  Armor 

and  others." 

Many  an  ambitious  young  member  of  the  bar 
who  had  devoted  weeks  to  the  preparation  of  a 
speech  which  he  regarded  as  a  master-piece  of 
oratory,  was  surprised,  on  getting  out  of  bed 
before  daylight  in  anticipation  of  reading  his 
own  polished  sentences  in  print,  to  find  that  he 
and  two  or  three  as  distinguished  orators  as 
himself,  had  been  bunched  like  asparagus- 
sprouts,  by  some  unappreciative  reporter,  in 
that  stereotyped  phrase,  "and  others/' 

No  attempt  was  made  by  the  Committee 
which  was  charged  with  the  management  of  Mr. 
Armor's  campaign  to  effect  any  organization  of 
the  voters  in  his  interest,  beyond  the  formation 
of  a  club  in  each  Ward,  called  the    "Young 


ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A   CAMPAIGN.  153 

Men's  Reform  Association."  These  clubs  were 
composed  of  young  lawyers,  storekeepers  and 
clerks  in  banks,  counting-houses  and  insurance 
offices.  Each  member  wore  a  high  silk  hat, 
dark  clothes,  white  gloves  and  a  badge  of  white 
satin,  upon  which  was  printed  in  gilt  letters  the 
number  of  the  Ward,  the  name  of  the  associa- 
tion and  a  x^eculiar  device. 

Wlien  these  five  clubs  all  turned  out,  par- 
ading about  two  thousand  handsome  and  hand- 
somely-dressed young  men,  they  attracted  uni- 
versal admiration,  and  the  ministers  of  the 
gospel,  bank  presidents  and  "Thousands  of 
Our  Business  men,  Tax-payers,  and  Most  Re- 
spectable, Intelligent,  Wealthy,  Prominent  and 
Influential  Citizens,"  felt  that  the  country  was 
certainly  safe. 

On  the  appointed  night  the  "  Grand  Ratifi- 
cation Meeting  in  Favor  of  Reform  and  of  the 
Election  of  Henry  Armor,  Esq.,"  was  duly 
held.  The  Academy  of  Music  was  crowded 
fi'om  floor  to  ceiling  and  presented  a  brilliant 
spectacle.  In  the  middle  of  the  stage,  and 
immediately  over  the  orator's  table,  hung  sas- 
l^ended  an  enormous  copy  of  the  old  Liberty 


154  ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A    CAMPAIGN. 

Bell,  around  the  rim  of  v/hich  appeared  the 
familiar  inscription:  "Proclaim  Liberty 
Throughout  All  the  Land,  Unto  All  the 
Inhabitants  Thereof."  Upon  the  body  of 
the  bell  blazed  out  in  dazzling  letters  of  light, 
formed  of  innum.erable  gas-jets,  this  inscrip- 
tion : — 

NO  KING 

NO  CLOWN 

SHALL  RULE 

THIS  TOWN. 

The  front  of  the  stage  was  crowded  with 
ministers  of  the  gospel,  bank  presidents  and 
"  Thousands  of  our  Business  men,  Tax-i^ayers, 
and  Most  Respectable,  Intelligent,  AVealthy, 
Prominent  and  Influential  Citizens." 

Honorable  Ingersoll  Aspenwall  presided, 
assisted  by  a  large  number  of  Vice-Presidents, 
whose  combined  wealth  was  said  to  exceed 
$100,000,000. 

When  Mr.  Armor  was  introduced,  the  vast 
audience  rose  and  gave  him  a  right  roj-al 
greeting.     So  great  was  the  enthusiasm  that 


ONE  WAY   TO   RUN  A    CAMPAIGN.  155 

even  ladies  stood  upon  the  seats  waving 
tlieir  handkerchiefs  and  fans,  and  some  of 
them,  carried  away  by  the  novel  excitement  of 
tlie  occasion,  grew  hysterical.  Old  gray-haired 
gentlemen  on  the  stage  so  far  forgot  themselves 
tliat  thej^  ponnded  with  their  canes  and  threw 
up  their  hats  like  school-boys.  Finally,  when 
he  could  be  heard,  Mr.  Armor  began  with  these 
words : 

"  I  do  not  mistake  the  meaning  of  this 
greeting.  It  is  not  merely  a  compliment  to  the 
speaker,  or  an  indorsement  of  j^oiir  candidate. 
It  has  a  deeper  significance.  It  is  the  death 
knell  of  Boss-rule.  It  is  the  shout  of  victory 
which  a  free  people  sends  ujj  over  its  new 
declaration  of  independence.  It  means  that 
you  have  resolved  from  this  day  forward  to 
govern  this  city  yourselves,  without  the  assist- 
ance of  any  self-appointed  Boss,  whether  native- 
born,  or  foreign  born." 

As  each  sentence  rang  out,  clear  and  distinct 
as  the  note  of  a  bugle,  it  was  answered  by  cheer 
after  cheer,  to  assure  the  orator  that  he  had  read 
the  hearts  of  his  hearers  aright  and  had  uttered 
their  sentiments. 


iS6  ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A    CAMPAIGN. 

He  continued : 

"  I  do  not  war  against  individuals.  It  is  not 
the  Boss  wlio  hapxDens  to  be  in  the  ascendency  to- 
day that  I  antagonize.  It  is  the  Boss  of  to-day 
— of  to-morrow— of  all  time  who  is  my  enemy  ; 
it  is  the  Boss  in  the  City,  the  Boss  in  the  State, 
the  Boss  in  the  Nation  against  whom  I  would 
have  you  wage  unending  war.  It  is  the  Boss 
system  which  I  arraign  as  the  curse  of  the 
country  and  the  shame  of  our  age.  By  this 
system  the  public  servants  are  made  the  masters 
of  the  people.  By  this  system  the  ten  thousand 
employees  of  the  City  are  made  ten  thousand 
arms  with  which  the  Boss  of  the  City  rules  the 
whole  communit}'.  By  this  system  the  twenty 
thousand  servants  of  the  State  are  converted 
into  twenty  thousand  hands  with  which  the 
Boss  of  the  State  holds  the  commonwealth  by 
the  throat.  By  this  system  the  hundred 
thousand  employees  of  the  Nation  become  a 
hundred  thousand  bonds  which  the  National 
Bosses  bind  upon  the  people  of  the  Nation,  con- 
verting them  into  slaves  bound  to  obey  their 
imperial  orders. 

"  The  opportunity  which  it  gives  a  corrupt 


ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A   CAMPAIGN.  157 

Boss  to  i)luncler  the  people  is  one  of  the  least  of 
the  many  evils  which  flow  from  the  system.  It 
begets  corruption  in  every  branch  of  the  public 
service  and  temj)ts  every  man  in  office  to  become 
a  thief.  It  teaches  that  official  dishonesty  is  no 
crime — that  official  perjury  is  no  sin — that  to 
override  the  will  of  the  people  and  to  tram^^le 
upon  the  sanctity  of  the  ballot  is  the  highest 
duty  of  American  citizenship.  It  breeds  uni- 
versal corruption,  and  fosters  in  the  rising  gen- 
eration an  utter  disregard  of  law,  of  morality 
and  of  common  decency  in  everything  pertain- 
ing to  politics.  It  is  like  that  most  loathsome 
of  diseases,  which  creeps  from  limb  to  limb,  and 
from  individual  to  individual,  until  the  whole 
community  is  a  community  of  lepers.  Boss- 
rule  is  political  leprosj-.  There  can  be  no 
political  health  where  it  is  permitted  to  exist. 

"  It  cannot  be  cured  ;  it  must  be  extirpated. 
There  is  no  remedy  which  you  can  apply  and 
say,  '  Lo,  the  sore  is  healed !'  You  need  not 
hope  to  purge  your  party  from  it  by  amending 
your  party  rules.  You  can  do  that  only  by 
purging  it  of  these  political  lejiers,  anA  that 
can  be  done  only  by  starving  them  to  death. 


158  ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A    CAMPAIGN. 

Wlien  honest  men  learn  that  they  owe  a  higher 
duty  to  their  city,  their  State,  and  their  coun- 
try than  they  do  to  their  party,  they  will  have 
found  the  only  antidote  for  this  poison.  When 
they  api^ly  this  antidote  freely  at  the  ballot-box 
by  voting  down  the  political  leper  and  his  can- 
didate, the  day  of  deliverance  will  not  be  far 
off.  When  the  independent  voter  and  the 
scratcher  shall  have  grown  so  strong  that  they 
can  and  will  prevent  the  election  of  every  un- 
worthy candidate  who  has  managed  to  secure  a 
nomination,  Boss-rule  and  Ring-rule  can  be 
crushed  out.  They  exist  only  upon  the  spoils 
of  ofBce,  and  grow  strong  only  when  their  party 
is  largely  in  the  majority.  Their  power  is  based 
solely  upon  the  devotion  of  honest  voters  to 
the  party.  They  preach  the  political  religion 
of  'fidelity  to  party,'  and,  like  false  priests,  grow 
fat  upon  the  fruits  of  their  i^reaching.  The  dis- 
honest official  whose  pockets  stand  out  with  his 
stolen  wealth  considers  it  an  unpardonable  sin 
for  an  honest  man  to  scratch  his  ticket.  Fidel- 
ity to  party,  wherever  the  Boss  system  exists,  is 
treason  to  yourself,  your  country,  your  God. 
There  is  but  one  true  political  religion  for  honest 


ONE  WAY   TO  RUN  A   CAMPAIGN.  159 

men  to  i:)ractice,  and  that  is  to  vote  for  an  honest 
man  because  he  is  honest,  and  to  vote  against  a 
dishonest  man  no  matter  what  party  claims  him 
as  its  candidate — to  keep  an  honest  man  in 
office  as  long  as  yon  can,  no  matter  what  party 
put  him  there,  for  fear  a  less  honest  man  may 
take'his  place.  I  believe  that  the  honest  citi- 
zens in  every  community  outnumber  ten  to  one 
the  class  from  which  Bosses  are  bred,  and  when 
the  honest  citizens  of  this  country  learn  this 
religion  and  practice  it,  Boss-rule  will  be  no 
more." 

For  nearly  two  hours  the  orator  continued 
to  delight  his  audience  with  such  "rhetorical 
fireworks  and  political  generalities,"  and,  as 
they  had  come  to  hear  just  such  sentiments, 
they  were  wrought  up  to  the  highest  pitch  of 
enthusiasm.  When  he  had  finished,  every  man 
and  woman  present  insisted  upon  shaking  him 
by  the  hand  and  assuring  him  of  his  trium- 
phant election.  That  night  when  he  left  his 
club,  where  a  banquet  had  been  given  in  his 
honor,  he  entertained  no  doubt  that  he  would 
be  elected  by  several  thousand  majority. 


XXII. 

ANOTHER  WAT. 

ENRY  ARMOR,  however,  was  de- 
ceived by  surface  indications.  He 
knew  nothing  of  the  power  of  the 
Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss.  The  "  I  made 
'im"  is  no  idle  boast,  nor  is  the  "I'm  fur  'ira," 
an  empty  promise.  The  Boss' s  "  I  Will "  is  the 
Leaders'  "  We  Must,"  and  when  They  deter- 
mine to  "  make  "  a  man,  he  is  as  good  as  made  ; 
when  They  determine  to  unmake  he  is  already 
undone. 

The  first  law  of  an  army  is  unquestioning, 
implicit  obedience.  Not  infrequently  has  the 
disregard  of,  or  the  failure  to  execute,  an  ap- 
parently trifling  military  order,  caused  the 
defeat  of  a  great  army— the  downfall  of  an  em- 
pire—the overthrow  of  a  civilization — the  open- 
ing of  a  new  volume  of  the  world's  history. 

[160] 


ANO  THER     IV A  Y.  1 6 1 

The  Leaders,  the  Ring,  and  the  Boss  com- 
mand an  army  composed  of  elements  as  danger- 
ous as  those  which  make  up  the  crew  of  a  pi- 
rate ship.  The  instant  the  slightest  sign  of 
weakness  is  shown,  each  man  aspires  to  be 
commander,  and  is  willing  to  sink  the  ship  and 
all  on  board  rather  than  to  forego  his  own  am- 
bitious schemes.  Therefore,  disobedience,  or 
want  of  obedience,  means  danger,  not  only  of 
defeat,  disaster  and  ruin,  but  also  —  as  the 
Reformers  believe— of  the  Penitentiary.  A 
repulse  may  prove  to  be  a  rout.  The  loss  of  a 
single  member  of  the  Municipal  Legislature 
may  mean  re-organization — re-arrangement  of 
Committees  —  Investigation,  and  —  who  can 
tell  what  ?  It  is  imperatively  necessary,  there- 
fore, that  every  man  shall  be  taught  that  to 
fail  is  to  betray,  to  disobey  is  to  rebel ;  and 
that  to  do  either  is  to  invite  political  death. 
Punishment  is  more  than  a  duty  ;  it  is  an  abso- 
lute necessity  for  self-preservation. 

There  are  also  dangers  from  without  as  well 

as  from  within.     The  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the 

Boss  are  required  to  practice  eternal  vigilance. 

They  are  compelled  to  do  more  than  simply  to 

il 


i62  ANOTHER     WAY. 

reiDel  hostile  assaults  ;  tliey  must  punish,  them 
with  political  anniliilation.  Their  power  to  be 
preserved  must  be  feared.  It  must  be  proved 
to  be  even  greater  to  punish,  than  to  reward. 
Therefore,  it  does  not  stop  at  removing  an  in- 
subordinate from  place — withdrawing  from  a 
disobedient  editor  all  patronage — placing  insur- 
mountable obstacles  between  a  too  independent 
candidate  and  the  object  of  his  ambition  ;  it 
pursues  its  victim  like  a  remorseless,  an  implac- 
able, an  inexorable  Fate.  For  those  assailants 
whom  such  punishments  cannot  reach,  others  are 
provided.  What  cannot  be  done  directly  is 
done  by  indirection.  The  vengeance  of  the 
Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss  is  like  the  Ven- 
detta which  received  its  name  in  Corsica,  but 
which  was  a  religion  among  the  ancient  Scandi- 
navians, and  has  been  practiced  in  every  age 
and  in  every  country  to  redress  those  wrongs 
for  Avhich  the  law  provides  no  remedy.  Its 
agencies  are  as  numerous,  as  secret,  as  danger- 
ous as  those  employed  to-day  by  the  Nihilists 
of  Russia,  or  those  which  were  practiced  by  the 
Thugs  of  India  prior  to  1837.  Its  punishments 
oven  extend  to  the  destruction  of  private  char- 


ANOTHER     WAY.  163 

acter— the  invasion  of  the  family  circle— the  as- 
sault upon  womanly  honor,  and  violence  to  life 
and  limb.  Few  persons  comprehend  the  power 
which  a  single  man  with  a  million  of  dollars  can 
exert,  if  he  will.  In  every  large  city  is  to  be 
found  a  class  of  men  who  form  the  secret  police 
of  the  Leaders,  the  King  and  the  Boss,  execut- 
ing Thwr  will  without  fear,  knowing  that  They 
stand  as  a  shield  between  Their  agents  and  the 
law.  If  the  secrets  of  the  "mysterious  disap- 
pearances" of  wdiich  we  read  were  all  disclosed 
—but  fortunately,  perhaps,  the  dead  cannot 
speak. 

Henry  Armor  not  only  failed  to  understand 
the  power  of  the  Leaders,  the  Iling  and  the 
Boss,  against  which  he  hurled  his  polished  and 
not  wholly  harmless  sentences,  but  he  also  failed 
to  comprehend  the  necessity  which  demanded 
his  defeat.  The  contest,  owing  to  the  tendency 
of  the  people  to  run  to  extremes,  had  assumed 
so  serious  a  shape  that  it  rendered  doubtful  the 
election  of  three,  and  possibly  of  live  candidates 
for  the  Municipal  Legislature  in  the  District. 
The  Reform  assault,  therefore,  threatened  n.)t 
only  to  drive  in  the  line  of  skirmishers,  but  also 


i64  ANOTHER     WAY. 

to  endanger  the  safety  of  Their  whole  army, 
and  made  the  overthrow  of  Their  empire  possi- 
ble. The  ascendency  of  the  Reform  Associa- 
tion, at  all  events,  meant  a  standing  menace  to 
the  power  and  safety  of  the  Leaders,  the  Ring 
and  the  Boss,  and,  therefore.  They  said,  "We 
must  destroy  them  to  save  Ourselves."  It  was 
the  delenda  est  Carthago  of  the  Romans. 

The  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss  were  not 
idle.  They  also  held  meetings — not  to  make 
converts,  but  to  encourage  the  rank  and  file  and 
to  conceal  the  manner  in  which  Their  skirmish- 
ers. Their  sharp-shooters.  Their  guerillas.  Their 
bush-whackers  and  Their  light-cavalry  were  en- 
gaged and  the  mode  in  which  They  had  deter- 
mined to  handle  Their  troops  and  give  battle. 

Neither  Michael  Mulhooly,  nor  Blossom 
Brick,  nor  the  Boss  si^oke  at  any  of  these  meet- 
ings. Their  time  and  talents  were  more  usefully 
employed.  They  were  wholly  occupied  in 
strengthening  Their  wavering  lines  ;  in  compel- 
ling submission  where  They  discovered  signs  of 
insubordination  ;  in  exhausting  the  possibilities 
of  each  Department ;  in  laying  out  the  exact 
work    expected    of    each    one   of    the    many 


ANOTHER     WAY.  165 

hundreds  of  employees  in  the  District,  and  in 
arranging  all  those  countless  details  with  elec- 
tion otiicers,  window-book  men  and  committees 
to  bring  out  the  vote,  which  go  so  far  in  a  close 
contest  towards  conquering  success. 

One  of  the  lirst  steps  which  was  taken  was  to 
make  an  example  of  those  employees  of 
Departments  not  directly  under  Their  control, 
who  had  been  led  into  acting  with  the  Reform 
Association  by  reason  of  its  professed  respect- 
ability and  by  the  plausible  argument  that  as 
Henry  Armor  was  a  candidate  of  the  party, 
although  an  independent  one,  he  could  be  sup- 
ported by  every  party-man  without  infidelity  to 
the  party.  Against  such  offenders  They  acted 
promptly  and  decidedly. 

Henry  White,  a  clerk  in  the  Department  of 
the  State  Treasury,  was  one  of  the  first  victims. 
He  had  paraded  with  the  Reform  Association 
of  his  Ward  and  had  acted  at  a  public  meeting 
of  the  Association  as  one  of  the  secretaries, 
and  had  read  a  series  of  resolutions  strongly 
indorsing  Henry  Armor,  and,  of  course,  by  im- 
plication condemning  the  Boss.  He  had  not 
been  long  enough  in  office  to  know  any  better. 


i66  ANOTHER     WAY. 

His  offense  was  a  glaring  one,  and  nothing  but 
his  official  head  would  appease  the  wrath  which 
he  had  unconsciously  aroused.  Accordingly  the 
Boss  called  promptly  upon  the  Head  of  the 
Department — made  known  His  will — refused  to 
take  a  denial  or  listen  to  an  apology,  saying  only 
"  riltache'im,"  and  as  He  could  not  be  offended 
with  impunity,  although  the  Department  was 
not  under  His  control,  that  very  afternoon  Mr. 
White,  on  leaving  the  office,  received  an  offi- 
cial enveloj^e  which  he  discovered  contained  a 
written  notice  of  his  dismissal.  It  was  a  thun- 
derbolt from  a  cloudless  sky.  He  had  just 
taken  a  small  house  and  furnished  it,  mainly  on 
credit,  and  was  daily  expecting  his  young  wife 
to  be  confined  with  her  first  baby.  He  read 
the  letter  over  again  and  again,  seeking  in  vain 
to  find  some  explanation  of  his  offense,  in  the 
lines  which  told  only  too  plainly  of  his  jDunish- 
ment.  With  a  heavy  heart  he  sat  down  at  the 
supper-table  which  she  had  prepared,  according 
to  her  custom,  to  welcome  him  after  his  day's 
work,  and  pleaded  a  head-ache  as  an  excuse 
for  the  depression  which  he  could  not  wholly 
conceal  from  the  watchful  eyes  of  the  poor,  lit- 


ANOTHER     WAY.  167 

tie  woman  to  whom  lie  was  lover,  hero,  and 
almost  God.  That  night,  while  sleep  made 
many  another  aching  heart  temporarily  forget 
its  woes,  sh.i  refused  to  him  her  blessed  conso- 
lation. He  heard  the  solemn  tones  of  the  great 
town-clock  slowly  counting  off  the  hours  of 
the  long  night.  He  listened  impatiently  to  his 
own  cheap  clock  ticking  away,  one  by  one,  the 
seconds,  each  one  of  which  brought  him  one 
step  nearer  the  moment  when  he  could  meet 
his  chief  face  to  face,  and  demand  an  explana- 
tion of  this  heavy  punishment  for  a  fault  of 
which  he  was  ignorant.  He  looked  at  his 
young  wife,  sleeping  in  blissful  ignorance  of 
the  great  trouble  which  the  next  day's  sun 
would  surely  disclose,  dreaming  of  the  baby 
that  was  so  soon  to  gladden,  like  a  kind  mes- 
sage from  the  Great  Father,  their  humble  but 
happy  home ;  and  then  the  silent,  scalding-hot 

tears  one    by  one but.  Pshaw !  why  waste 

any  sympathy  uj^on  a  fool  who  expected  to 
live  by  a  system  which  he  was  not  willing  to 
obey  as  a  slave  ? 

Of  course  he  thought  when  morning  came 
that  in  that  one  night  he  had  lived  through  ten 


i68  ANOTHER     WAY, 

years  of  misery.  Of  course  he  hurried  to  the 
Department,  still  hoping  that  the  God  to  whom 
he  prajed  for  his  wife  and  unborn  child,  might 
find  some  means  of  arresting  the  calamity.  Of 
course  the  ostensible  Chief  of  the  Department 
received  him  kindly  and  explained  to  him  the 
crime  which  he  had  committed,  and  expressed 
his  regret  that  he  had  been  compelled  to  thus 
summarily  dismiss  him.  Of  course  he  grew 
indignant  at  this  his  first  lesson  in  practical 
politics,  and  denounced  his  dismissal  as  an  act 
of  tyranny,  wicked,  disgraceful  and  cruel ;  and 
then,  suddenly  thinking  of  his  home,  of  his 
wife,  and  of  how  he  was  to  provide  food  and 
nursing  and  a  doctor,  broke  down  utterly,  and, 
sobbing  like  a  child,  told  of  his  great  necessities 
and  promised  to  submit  in  the  future,  and  to  do 
anything  in  his  power  to  repair  the  wrong  he 
had  done  ;  and  was  told,  kindly  but  frankly,  that 
nothing  could  be  done,  as  his  place  had  already 
been  filled.  Of  course  he  went  away  cursing 
the  system,  and  praying  God  to  visit  upon  the 
Boss  something  of  the  misery  which  He  caused 
others  to  suffer,  and  stopping  every  acquaint- 
ance whom  he  met  on  the  street  to  tell  his  story, 


ANOTHER     WAY.  169 

receiving  symi^athy  from  all,  and  from  some  the 
ccnsoling  assurance  that  he  "  ought  not  to  have 

been  such  a  d d  fool."     Of  course  some  of 

his  hearers,  warned  by  his  example,  endeavored 
to  made  amends  for  their  own  indiscretions  by 
going  from  one  saloon  to  another  where  there 
was  a  prospect  of  meeting  any  of  the  Leaders, 
and  hurrahing  for  "Mulhooly  all  the  time." 
Of  course,  when  he  was  at  last  compelled  to  go 
home,  tired,  hungry,  and  sick  at  heart,  and  to 
tell  his  poor  young  wife  all,  the  shock  brought 

on Well,  Nature  has  not  provided  us  with 

a  sufficient  supply  of  tears  to  meet  the  demand 
made  upon  our  sensibilities  by  the  miseries 
brought  upon  the  innocent  and  helpless  by  the 
follies  of  our  fellow-men. 

A  few  such  examples  are  sufficient  to  strike 
terror  to  the  hearts,  not  only  of  the  employees 
of  the  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss,  but  also 
of  all  who  are  in  the  public  service  and  whom 
Their  vengance  can  ]30ssibly  reach. 

Their  next  task  was  to  raise  sufficient  money 
to  defray  the  expense  of  electing  Michael  Mul- 
hooly, and  it  was  an  easy  one. 

Henry  Armor,  indorsed  as  he  was  by  bank- 


X70  ANOTHER     WAY. 

presidents  and  millionaires,  who,  according  to 
their  own  views,  had  contributed  most  liberally" 
to  his  campaign  fund,  would  have  been  greatly 
astonished  had  he  been  told  that  a  sum  nearly 
three  times  as  large  as  that  which  had  been  sub- 
scribed by  his  wealthy  friends  had  been  raised 
without  difSculty  to  secure  his  defeat. 

Blossom  Brick,  as  Chairman  of  a  sub-Com- 
mittee of  the  City  Committee,  took  upon  him- 
self this,  to  him,  agreeable  duty  of  collecting 
this  fund.  Lists  were  always  ready  for  use  on 
such  occasions,  containing  the  name  of  every 
man  directly  or  indirectly  employed  under  the 
city  government,  with  the  amount  of  his  salary, 
or  an  estimate  of  the  Rebates  and  aliunde 
profits  attached  to  his  office,  set  ojDposite  his 
name.  It  was  customary  to  levy  an  assessment 
varying  from  one  to  five  per  cent,  upon  the  esti- 
mated salary  of  each.  With  a  salary  list  of 
$6,595,625,  one  per  cent,  upon  this  sum  would 
amount  to  $65,956.  Even  if  but  two-thirds  of 
those  who  were  requested  to  j)Jiy  their  assess- 
ments responded — and  it  is  a  dangerous  thing 
for  any  man  to  refuse  to  comply  with  so  obviously 
just  a  request — over  $40,000  could  thus  be  raised 


ANOTHER     WAY. 


171 


in  a  few  days.  Allowing  a  proper  percentage  of 
this  sura  for  natural  leakage  while  passing' 
through  the  hands  of  those  charged  with  its  col- 
lection— and  surely  those  who  labor  day  and 
night  for  the  party  without  any  ostensible 
salary  ought  not  to  be  expected  to  account  for 
every  cent— it  will  be  readily  seen  that,  if  Blos- 
som Brick's  rule  for  estimating  the  cost  of 
securing  an  election  is  correct,  there  still  would 
remain  a  very  large  sum  to  be  used  in  making 
the  requisite  number  of  election  officers  "solid." 
In  this  rule  Blossom  Brick  placed  implicit  faith. 
He  laughed  when  other  people  talked  about 
relying  upon  public  meetings  and  speeches  to 
carry  an  election,  and  repeated  one  of  his  favor- 
ite expressions,  "An  election  officer  well  in 
hand  is  worth  a  score  of  voters  on  the  half 
shell." 

Having  raised  this  fund  he  also  took  upon 
himself  the,  to  him,  agreeable  duty  of  disburs- 
ing it.  One  of  his  peculiarities  in  managing 
this  responsible  part  of  a  campaign,  for  which  he 
was  noted,  was  that  he  never  allowed  any  por- 
tion of  such  a  fund  to  remain  unexpended,  or 
turned  over  any  surplus  to  the  Committee  for  a 


1 7  2  ANO  THER     WA  Y. 

reserve  fund.  On  tlie  contrary,  lie  invariably 
had  bills  outstanding,  and  claims  of  his  own  for 
bills  whicli  he  had  felt  comj)elled  to  pay  out  of 
own  pocket.  This  proved  how  thoroughly  lie 
did  Ills  work. 

Upon  him  also  mainly  devolved  the  delicate 
and  responsible  duty  of  conducting  those  diplo- 
matic negotiations,  not  only  with  election  offi- 
cers, of  whom  he  was  so  fond,  but  also  with 
that  valuable  body  of  statesmen,  such  as  Hon. 
Hugh  McCann,  Piggy  Degan  and  Pud.  Muldoon, 
who  were  especially  skillful  in  bringing  out 
voters  even  in  Wards  in  which  they  did  not 
reside,  and  where  they  were  supposed  to  have 
no  very  extended  acquaintance.  It  is  sufficient 
to  say  that  when  such  work  was  done  by  Blos- 
som Brick  it  was  well  done  ;  and  that  he  highly 
commended  Michael  Mulhooly  for  the  assistance 
which  he  rendered  in  more  than  one  case  of 
peculiar  delicacy  and  difficulty. 

Each.  Precinct  was  carefully  and  accurately 
canvassed,  and  at  a  private  meeting  of  the 
Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss,  held  on  the 
Saturday  evening  when  Mr.  Henry  Armor  was 
delighting  the  large  audience  in  the  Academy 


ANOTHER     WA  Y.  173 

of  Masic  with  his  rhetorical  display,  They  were 
able  to  point  out  exactly  the  amount  and  char- 
acter of  work  which  was  still  necessary  to  be 
done  in  certain  Precincts  to  insure  success. 

On  the  night  before  the  election — so  admira- 
bly bad  Michael  Mulhooly's  campaign  been 
managed — the  sporting  men  commenced  to  bet 
heavily  on  his  election. 


XXIII. 

THE  RESULT. 

T  ten  o'clock  on  election  morning,  it 
was  evident  that  Henry  Armor  was 
polling  an  exceedingly  strong  vote. 
At  two  o'clock,  P.M.  bets  of  $1,000  to  $500  that 
Ills  majority  would  not  be  less  than  two  thou- 
sand, were  offered  at  the  Clubs  without  lakers. 
At  four  o'clock  P.M.  the  afternoon  papers  pub- 
lished reports  of  disturbances  at  several  voting 
places  in  the  District.  When  the  polls  closed 
there  seemed  to  be  no  doubt  of  the  election  of 
the  Reform  Candidate,  but  by  a  much  smaller 
majority  than  his  friends  had  predicted.  For 
the  last  hour,  in  a  number  of  Precincts,  the  Mul- 
hooly  voters  rallied  in  such  strength  and.  num- 
bers around  the  polls,  as  to  prevent  any  other 
voters  from  approaching  the  window. 

Toward  nine  o'clock  p.m.  rumors  commenced 

[174J 


THE    RESULT, 


175 


to  come  in,  of  frauds  in  counting  the  returns 
and  of  the  carrying  off  of  the  ballot-boxes  by 
bodies  of  armed  men,  who  declared  that  the 
Armor  election  officers  contemplated  making 
false  returns  in  favor  of  their  candidate.  In 
one  of  these  Precincts  an  election  officer  was 
shot,  and  in  another,  two  citizens  who  were  as- 
sisting the  election  officers  to  defend  the  ballot- 
boxes  were  reported  to  have  been  mortally 
wounded.  At  two  o'clock  a.m.  a  number  of 
Precincts  were  yet  to  be  heard  from,  no  returns 
having  been  made,  owing,  as  was  alleged  by 
Michael  Mulhooly's  friends,  to  the  attempt  of 
a  body  of  armed  roughs  in  Armor's  employ  to 
count  their  candidate  in. 

Michael  Mulhooly  and  Blossom  Brick  were 
up  all  night,  driving  from  one  voting  place  to 
another,  encouraging  their  election  officers  to 
stand  firm  and  not  to  allow  Mulhooly  to  be 
counted  out.  At  daylight  Blossom  Brick  or- 
dered Patsey  Maguire — at  whose  saloon  they 
had  just  arrived,  worn  out  by  their  arduous 
labors — to  open  a  basket  of  wine,  and  invited  up 
some    twenty  members  of  the   "Michael  Mul 


176  THE    RESULT. 

hooly  Campaign  Club" — who  had  also  been  en- 
gaged all  night  in  guarding  the  sanctity  of  the 
ballot — to  drink  the  health  of  their  "  next  Con- 
gressman, Hon,  Michael  Mulhooly." 

When  the  official  returns  were  all  in  and 
counted  it  was  found  that,  notwithstanding  the 
unprecedented  frauds  which  were  alleged  to 
have  been  committed  in  the  interest  of  the 
Reform  candidate,  Michael  Mulhooly  was 
elected  by  a  majority  of  three  hundred  and 
seventy-nine  votes,  and,  consequently,  he  re- 
ceived the  certificate  of  election. 

Thus  were  the  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the 
Boss  vindicated  by  the  people. 

Mr.  Armor's  friends  were  astonished  at  the 
result,  and  indignantly  denied  the  charges  of 
fraud  made  against  them.  They  claimed  that 
their  candidate  had  been  elected  by  more  than 
one  thousand  majority,  and  had  been  deliberately 
counted  out.  Steps  were  immediately  taken  to 
contest  Mr.  Mulhooly' s  seat.  A  Committee  was 
appointed  to  canvass  the  District ;  a  large  fund 
was  subscribed  to  defray  the  necessary  expenses, 
and  a  number  of  eminent  counsel  were  employed 


THE    RESULT. 


177 


to  prepare  the  proper  petition  and  present  the 
case  at  the  opening  of  the  next  session  of  Con- 
gress. The  Truth-teller  from  day  to  day  pub- 
lished the  details,  which  it  claimed  would 
establish  the  most  wicked  and  stupendous 
scheme  to  over-ride  the  will  of  the  people  that 
had  ever  been  perpetrated  or  attempted  in  the 
city:  A  number  of  election  officers  were 
arrested  and  held  to  bail,  and  one  of  them  made 
an  affidavit  that  he  had  been  paid  $150  by 
Blossom  Brick,  in  the  presence  of  Michael  Mul- 
hooly,  to  alter  the  returns  so  that  they  would 
show  a  gain  of  fifty  votes  for  Mulhooly.  It  was 
announced  that  upon  this  affidavit  a  warrant 
would  be  issued  for  the  arrest  of  both  these 
gentlemen,  but  no  such  warrant  was  issued,  on 
account  of  the  sudden  disappearance  of  the  man 
who  had  made  this  affidavit.  This  singular 
conduct  on  his  part  gave  color  to  the  allegation 
of  Blossom  Brick  that  it  was  only  a  "put-up 
job,"  and  that  the  man  had  been  paid  by 
Armor's  friends  to  make  the  affidavit  and  then 
"skip,"  so  as  to  enable  them  to  cover  up  theii 
own  frauds. 


178  THE    RESULT. 

As  the  session  of  Congress  drew  near,  each 
party  claimed  to  have  secured  overwhelming 
evidences  of  frauds  committed  by  the  other 
side.  The  contest,  however,  was  never  to  be 
made,  owing  to  the  sudden  death  of  Mr.  Henry 
Armor,  who,  notwithstanding  his  peculiar 
political  views,  had  won  the  regard  and  esteem 
of  many  of  the  best  people  in  the  community, 
by  whom  his  loss  was  sincerely  mourned. 

The  night  before  Mr.  Michael  Mulhooly's 
departure  to  take  his  seat  in  the  American  Con- 
gress the  Michael  Mulhooly  Campaign  Clubs 
tendered  him  a  serenade,  and  made  a  street 
parade,  marshalled  by  Hon.  Hugh  McCann, 
Piggy  Began  and  Pud.  Muldoon,  and  carrying 
transi^arencies  upon  which  were  inscribed 
various  striking  and  original  mottoes. 

Two  of  these  transparencies,  borne  side  by 
side,  were  so  peculiar  and  suggestive  that  this 
sketch  of  a  distinguished  representative  of  the 
system  which  will  fill  so  important  a  page  of 
the  political  history  of  the  country  cannot  be 
more  fittingly  concluded  than  by  reproducing 
them. 


The  Leaders,  the  Ring  and  the  Boss,  and  Their 
thousands  of  dependents,  had  been  truly 


SOLID    FOR    MULHOOLY. 


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